


dear daffodil

by greenfelix (literallyepsilon)



Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, art student banri because Ha, camboy tsumugi, side tsukkazu juten and chikaita
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2020-03-10
Packaged: 2020-11-28 10:13:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 63,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20964857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/literallyepsilon/pseuds/greenfelix
Summary: a certain banri settsu's sweet love experience with a camboy who's just as pretty as the flower his username is based after, while, a certain tsumugi tsukioka learns to love again.





	1. chapter one

**Author's Note:**

> hello it's time for another multichap fic that i hope this time i will finish (i'm sorry in advance)
> 
> camboy bantsumu. it started off as a nsfw thing that ended up becoming an au so. thanks to dita and lia for reading this

“You’re on that website, right?”  
“Oh, yeah,  _ that  _ one, right…?”  
“Were you on it last night? Did you find that teacher?”  
“Maaan, there are so many people on that site, I wouldn't know ~ ”  
“You just got distracted looking at some girl’s tits, right — “  
“No way ~ You know I don't swing that way!”

Banri feels like he’s going to crack his piece of charcoal if they don’t shut up. He’d been working on this canvas for what felt like eight hours already, despite only having arrived to his class an hour ago. (So he thinks. Maybe he  _ has  _ been here for eight hours.) 

Of all the days to forget bringing his headphones, it has to be the day when his classmates are discussing  _ something  _ like this...

“Oiii.” Banri glances over at his classmates, huddled together a table away. “Be quiet.”

They were sharing one pair of earphones, eyes fixed onto the small screen of their smartphone. One of them, known mostly to Banri as ‘Kazu’, meets Banri’s gaze, and gestures at him to come over. Setting the charcoal down, Banri complies, walking over to them. They angle the screen at him, and Banri’s eyes widen, watching the video playing of a woman running her tongue over something plastic and phallic. He swallows.

“Um,” he begins. “What the fuck?”  
“Settsuar, you haven’t heard of it?” Kazu asks, turning the phone back to his gaze. “It’s the hot new site, BloomHub!”  
“You think I have the time to watch porn,” Banri replies, elbowing him more than gently. “All of my time is spent on my projects.”  
“Yeah, but this isn’t just  _ porn _ ,” Kazu taps the screen, and a section pops up, with little coins appearing in the UI every now and then. “It’s  _ interactive _ ~”  
“So it’s a horny Twitch streamer.” Banri says, and Kazu whacks him with a free hand.   
“If you give enough money, they’ll do what you say ~ ☆” Kazu replies, undaunted. “If you don’t believe me, go and try it for yourself.”  
“I have a social life,” Banri replies. (He doesn’t.) “But if it’ll get you off my case…”  
“Make sure you tell me who you decide to watch ~ “ Kazu calls after him, Banri turning back to return to his work of art. “I want to know what my precious Settsuar is into ~ “

Banri decides not to grace Kazu with a response, picking the charcoal up again. His eyes scan across his canvas -- dark smudges creating up the beginning of a dismal landscape, space in the middle completely empty. He sighs, tucking the charcoal over his ear like it’s a pencil, smearing the dust onto his face without thinking.

It’s weird -- he’s normally so good at painting, all these things come naturally to him, and yet he can’t figure out what’s supposed to go in the middle of this canvas. He can’t find a subject.

Which, (that is, it is what he tells himself, as he opens up the browser), is why he’s going to the site Kazu was talking about in the first place. 

The site opens up on his browser, and he chews on his lower lip, making a free account to browse around for a few moments. Several cam artists are live right now, their streams boasting about 20,000 viewers or so. Banri ducks in and out of a few of them -- listening for a few moments to the guttural moans of one of the streamers as she rides something he’s probably sure  _ isn’t _ supposed to go up there.

He’s about to call it a bust, tell Kazu that the site is just glorified porn rather than people actually streaming themselves, when a new video pops up on the home screen. It’s only up for a second before almost a thousand, no, two thousand, people have jumped on. 

“Daffodil_Darling, huh,” Banri says, and clicks on the link.

Sitting in front of the screen, face obscured (hopefully only for the time being) by a dark mask around his mouth and nose, is a man. He’s slender, skin soft-looking and pale. His eyes are bright blue, shining with what seems to be childish mirth, complemented by the darker shade of blue that colours his hair. He’s wearing a t-shirt that’s definitely too big for him, and it hangs off of one slim shoulder. The man is reaching forward, adjusting the camera, and Banri catches a glimpse of the panties -- the panties!? -- that he’s wearing before the camera is fixed back onto his face.

The chat that Banri has certainly almost forgotten about bursts into activity at the sight of it, calling him a tease. The man laughs, and moves to undo the mask covering his face, revealing soft pink lips. The man shoots the camera a sultry gaze, and then he laughs, pink raising over the apples of his cheeks.

“I always forget how many people come to watch me,” he says, and Banri feels his throat go dry. “Hello, everyone. I hope you’ve all had a good day.”

His voice sounds like melodic bells, ringing in Banri’s earbuds. He swallows, again, and shakes his head furiously from side to side as if calming himself down. He knows he has work to do, but he can’t tear his eyes away from the screen.

“Um,” the man says. “I’m Daffodil_Darling, and I’m at your service today. I just started a couple of weeks ago, so please be nice to me.”

The chat bursts into activity -- Banri watches as the tip counter next to Daffodil’s name tick up, going from zero yen to ten thousand in what he’s sure is only a few seconds. With the tips come requests, and he watches as Daffodil scans the chat, his cheeks still blushed prettily pink. His hands move without him thinking, and before he knows it, he’s donated five thousand in tips. Banri blinks down at his hands.

“NEO-san,” Daffodil says, eyes turned to the camera, now. “I haven’t seen you in the chat before. Nice to meet you, I hope you’ll take care of me.”

Banri’s cock twitches shamefully in his sweatpants as he throws another thousand yen Daffodil’s way.

“Let’s get started, shall we,” Daffodil says, settling back onto what looks like his bed. “Let me know if there’s anything in particular you want to see up close.”

The chat is full of activity again, but Banri isn’t paying attention to that. Instead, his eyes are squarely on the blue-haired man in the center of his screen, watching as he lowers his hands to the hem of his shirt, pulling it slowly over his head, revealing inch by inch of perfect, unblemished skin, save for some fading tan marks. Other than that, he’s absolutely perfect in every way in Banri’s eyes. His eyes widen as he watches Daffodil turn around, his back facing the camera, and bend over, reaching underneath the bed to take something.

Another five hundred or so yen mysteriously disappear from his bank account.

“I’ve just gotten the toys,” Daffodil says, and lifts a heavy-looking box onto the bed next to him.

With his shirt off, it’s not hard to see the planes of his stomach, the striped panties he’s wearing, and the white stockings pulled up to his thighs. Banri coughs, a hand slipping into his sweatpants. Boy, is he glad he lives alone. 

Daffodil rifles through his box, and pulls out a couple of items -- a dildo that looks larger than Banri’s arm, something with weird ridges, one of those Hitachi massager wands, a set of beads, and another, smaller seeming dildo with a suction cup. Daffodil looks over them once more, before nodding to himself, an action Banri finds  _ adorable _ despite the circumstances. The box goes back under the bed.

“How about we do a little bit of bidding,” Daffodil says, as if talking about the weather. “The person who pays the most within the next...ten seconds gets to decide what I start with.”

Banri’s hands don’t move fast enough, and ten seconds passes quickly. An anonymous tipper, offering about ten thousand yen -- the amount of money even makes Banri’s eyes widen -- tells Daffodil to start with the Hitachi. And tells him not to take the panties off, much to the chagrin of all of the other viewers, Banri included.

“Alright.” Daffodil acquiesces, sitting up on the bed. 

He spreads his legs, plugging the wand into an unseen outlet, and clicks the power button. The noise of the vibration is deafening, but Banri doesn’t want to turn the sound down just in case he misses anything. Daffodil seems to hear him, though, and turns the vibrations down a little. He runs the head of the wand slowly down his chest, over his nipples and down, bypassing the prominent bulge in his panties and down his thighs, and then slowly back up. Banri swallows down another gulp of air as Daffodil finally, finally, presses the head against his cock, through the underwear.

A moan tears itself from Daffodil’s throat, sounding surprisingly genuine. Banri’s seen enough porn to know that Daffodil’s reactions are real, though, the tremors in his shoulders as he runs the head of the wand up and down his cock, a wet spot forming in the panties he’s wearing. Daffodil whimpers, rubbing the wand against the wet area, the slick noises echoing around Banri’s brain. 

“It feels good,” Daffodil gasps out. “Can I take the underwear off now…?”

Banri doesn’t know how Daffodil’s able to read the chat with that amount of stimulation. He’s only stroking himself off, and he can barely read the chat as is, eyes too focused on Daffodil and his twitches and shaking.

The anonymous tipper agrees, and Daffodil moans out a ‘thank you’, garbled in the pleasured noises he makes. Even then, though, Daffodil doesn’t take the panties off properly, the fabric hanging off a slim leg as he grinds against the vibrator. Seeing Daffodil fully naked is something else altogether, creating a possessive reaction deep inside Banri -- the need to  _ protect _ , for some reason, to own and protect the beautiful flower behind the camera.

Perhaps this was why everyone watched him.

Daffodil runs the head of the wand over the head of his cock, the wet noises only growing in volume, accompanied by his little punched out moans, a second hand fumbling on the sheets -- seemingly aimlessly, but somehow, Daffodil produces a bottle of lube, hips still moving against the vibrator.

The anonymous tipper tells him to stop. Daffodil does, face burned red, shoulders rising and falling with what Banri is sure is pained breaths. He must have been close. The whine that Daffodil lets out sure says so, at least. The wand is turned off, and set to the side, while Daffodil sits and curls his hands in the sheets, pearlescent fluid dripping from the tip of his wet cock, dripping down the sides. The camera must be fucking  _ good _ , Banri thinks, clenching the base of his own cock. He wants to hold out a little longer.

“Haah...aah…” Daffodil breathes, hips jerking into nothing. “F-Fuck…I was so close…”

His eyes turn to the camera, and they’re glazed over with lust, Banri can tell, but the sharp blue of his eyes is still incredible despite it.

“...Let’s...move on to the next toy,” Daffodil says. “Highest bidder...in the next minute, maybe? Let me calm down a little so I don’t come too fast…”

Banri would be lying if he said he wouldn’t like to see Daffodil come fast a lot of times, though. He watches the bidding for a moment or two, midding around ten thousand, like the previous bidder. His hands move without his conscience’s permission again, and suddenly, the minute was over, and Banri had just sent fifteen thousand yen Daffodil’s way.

Daffodil’s eyes widen, before crinkling at the corners, dimples appearing in his cheeks as he smiles at the camera.

“NEO-san,” he says, “so you’re joining the bidding war, too. What should I use…?”

Banri looks over his options, before typing into the silent chat. How polite of them, he had expected the other people watching (a whopping thirty thousand people, now) to spam the chat, attempt to confuse Daffodil as to who was speaking, but instead, they were all silent, letting him type away at the chat. Perhaps it was courtesy to their Daffodil.

[take the big one], Banri types.

The chat bursts into agreement. The big one -- Daffodil looks small, Banri thinks. Can he even get that thing up there? He does want to see him try.

Daffodil laughs, covering his mouth as he does so. A shame, because his smile is so pretty.

“Your wish is my command.” he says.

A moment of hesitation passes, and then Daffodil approaches the camera with the bottle of lube, and the  _ monster dildo _ that looks even bigger up close. It’s ridged with veins that Banri never got to see, and he almost regrets asking for this one. Surely Daffodil can’t take it -- ?

Daffodil lifts two of his fingers to his lips, pressing gently on his bottom lip, and sucking them into his mouth. His fingers move slowly in and out, tongue licking between them, and around, in a show of sensuality that Banri is absolutely not ready for, releasing over his shirt before he can stop himself. Thankfully, his stamina has never been bad, and his cock twitches to life again, as he rushes around the desk to get a box of tissues.

After wiping his face and his shirt to the best of his ability, his eyes return to the screen, where Daffodil has two fingers inside of him, on his knees. They look sufficiently wetter than before -- he’d likely used lube, as well. A moan that disguises itself as a whimper squeezes itself from Daffodil’s lips, head tipping back to reveal his perfect throat. A comment in the chat says something about leaving bruises, and Banri has to agree.

[hurry up] he types, in the chat, and Daffodil chuckles.   
“Impatient,” Daffodil says, voice lilting slightly. “Ah -- if only I could reach deeper…” 

Daffodil slowly pulls his fingers out, a squelching noise following the movement, and picks the dildo up. He pours the lube slowly over it, running his hands up and down the silicon surface, licking his lips slowly. He glances over at the camera again, making sure the lube is evenly spread, and then gets back up onto his knees. It’s a fantastic position.

“Here I go, then,” he says.

Daffodil positions himself over the dildo, holding the head steady, and begins to sink down. Banri’s eyes are focused on the area where the dildo ends and Daffodil’s body starts, watches as he lowers himself all the way, a slow movement that reveals  _ everything _ , somehow. Daffodil’s cock twitches, and the dildo inside him -- the  _ size  _ of it is visible from the outside, a small bulge showing in his body. He moans, running his hand up and down his stomach gently. 

“So...big…” he hisses out, shivering. “NEO-san, I -- hngh -- really like this...choice...haah -- “

Hearing his username said in that kind of voice makes Banri deeply regret not putting his actual name there. He swallows the saliva in his throat, and moves to type again.

[ride it] is all he can manage, and Daffodil moans, clutching at the ground as he tips forward slightly.  
“I’m gonna...already…” Daffodil says, raising himself up. 

The dildo slips slowly out of him, the silicon wet with lube, and as Daffodil rocks back down, Banri has the ultimate pleasure of seeing him come, spurts of white fluid landing on his face and his chest. Daffodil doesn’t stop, though, keeping that same pace of a slow rise, and a painful-looking rock back down onto the dildo.

Banri can barely breathe watching him, he can’t imagine how Daffodil must feel getting himself fucked like that. He strokes himself off a little faster, watching as Daffodil bounces on the giant dildo inside of him, moans and cries leaving his lips. Banri can see him clench around the dildo, and swallows a little harder.

“Please, let me come again,” Daffodil says. “Please…NEO-san…”

Banri feels himself release over his shirt again -- God, he’s absolutely ruined this shirt, now -- and moves a shaky hand to type.

[go ahead]

Daffodil comes, all over himself and his chest, and it’s certainly a sight to see. He swallows, tongue hanging out slightly as he sucks in heavy breaths, still grinding down on the dildo inside of him. Banri can’t imagine what it’s hitting inside of him, and how good it must feel.

“Thank you,” Daffodil whispers softly. “Thank you, everyone…” 

Slowly, he pulls off of it, the sound of it leaving him echoing around in Banri’s mind. He approaches the camera, kneeling in front of it so his face is visible, a gentle smile on his face.

“That’ll be all for tonight,” he says. “I’ll see you soon, okay…? My next stream will be -- ah, hnnh -- I just...I’m still…”

His arm is reaching back. Banri can’t see it, but he knows what’s going on back there.

“My next stream will be this weekend,” Daffodil breathes. “I hope you...come back soon.”

And just like that, the stream ends.

The black screen stares Banri in the face, the chat slowly dying down. He blinks, blankly, and then looks down at his hands, the sticky fluid drying on his palms. He chews on his lower lip, swallowing, and then moves to stand, to clean off, when his phone buzzes.

**taruchi: ** oi banrikun  
**taruchi: ** where are you  
**taruchi: ** you’re supposed to help me raid today stupid  
**taruchi: ** ooiiii  
**NEO: ** yeah yeah im coming stop spamming shitty adult  
**taruchi: ** ok ill be waiting for you on voice  
**NEO: ** gimme a minute

Banri looks down at his soiled hand again, and sighs. If Itaru found out about this, he’d never live to see the end of it -- so Itaru can never find out.


	2. chapter two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> banri participates in another stream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello another pp lunch box for you all <3
> 
> i just wanna link to [this](https://twitter.com/mimosa__cafe/status/1182714285815779328?s=20) incredible coverart dita did of the AU ; w ; it makes me so :owocry:
> 
> anyway!! i hope u enjoy this chapter!!

“So, you watched some guy fuck himself on a dildo.” 

Banri  _ groans _ , adjusting his character to knock out one of the monsters surrounding them. Itaru laughs in his ears, and Banri’s sure he can hear him shaking his head. He looks over at the screen again, brow furrowing between his eyes.

“Yes, I did.” Banri says. “It was for  _ research _ , though.”  
“No it wasn’t, pervert.” Itaru chuckles. “If you wanted to do research, you could have watched any other video.”  
“Uh, no I couldn’t have.” Banri says, mostly to himself.  
“Did you pay him?” Itaru asks, casually.   
“Yes,” Banri says before he can stop himself. “Fuck.”

Itaru bursts into laughter.

“Kitakore.” he says, still barely recovered. “Banri-kun’s becoming an adult.”

Banri turns his character to shoot Itaru’s character until he dies, biting on his lower lip harshly. Itaru only laughs, though, as annoyed as Banri’s sure he feels on the inside. He does it again, and then sighs, running a hand through his hair as he thinks. If he lets his mind wander, all he sees is Daffodil’s face, contorted in lust as he --

“You’re going to die,” Itaru points out, and Banri snaps out of his daze just as his character is killed. “Let’s stop, you’re not focused.”  
“Ugh, it’s obvious, huh.” Banri mumbles, covering his face. “Itaru-san…”  
“Alright, alright.” Itaru replies, a laugh hiding behind his words. “You can’t still be thinking about the streamer you watched, are you…?”  
“Ughhhh.”  
“That’s enough answer for me.” Itaru lets out a sigh that sounds more like a sharp exhale of breath. “Who is this guy, anyway? I’m interested to watch, now.”  
“No.” Banri says, without thinking. “I’m not gonna tell you.”  
“Whew, what’s this possessiveness.” Itaru says. “Scary ~ Banri, you’re not in love, are you?”  
“Shut up.”

Banri doesn’t know what he’s in, actually. He’s even less unsure what he’s gotten himself into by watching Daffodil, but he wants to see more. He doesn’t really want to wait for the next stream, either… though, he’s not so sure whether he has a choice or not. He could go on other sites to see if he could find any remnants, but…

“If you want to see your boy so bad, why don’t you watch his older streams?” Itaru says, flicking the microphone on his earphones to get Banri’s attention. “Where are you watching? BloomHub?”  
“Yeah,” Banri says, voice a little higher as he thinks of it. Of _course_ BloomHub would keep older streams, right? And if Daffodil had just started, surely there would be some older streams… “I didn’t see them, though…”  
“Because you need a premium membership to view them.” Itaru says. He can hear him roll his eyes. “It’s not that expensive, though.”  
“How do you know, Itaru-san?” Banri asks, and the silence is enough answer. “Ah, so you’re a pervert, too.”  
“Do you want to know how to access the membership or not, Banri.”  
“Yes please ~ ” 

Itaru rubs at his face, and then a link appears in their chat.

“Here.” he says. “Go on here to upgrade your account. It’s about two thousand yen a month, which isn’t too bad if you have someone you particularly want to watch.”  
“Who do _you _watch, Itaru-san?” Banri asks, already opening the tab.  
“My _senpai_. Goodnight, Banri. Let me know if you need help.”

And without another word, Itaru drops the call, throwing Banri’s world into disarray. The first question is how the  _ hell  _ can Itaru bear to see his boss at work when he’s just watched his boss do...that kind of stuff at night? Secondly, he stares at the account page. This would give him access to special streams, and past streams posted, as well. He swallows.

“Right,” he tells himself. “Let’s do this.”

And, somehow, that was how Banri ended up watching every stream Daffodil’s ever posted on the site. It’s easy to see how much he’s grown from the stream he caught last night - starting off almost silent and nervous, shaking from it, even. How he learned to use toys, with encouragement from the viewers and the chat, and how he finally found his own rhythm. It’s pretty inspiring, in more ways than one. There's just something about that angelic aura of Daffodil's, especially prevalent in his older streams, that's different.

After watching the previous streams, Banri moves to figure out and memorise the schedule that Daffodil has -- every couple of days, he’d post a stream, normally at least once during the weekdays, and at least once on the weekend. Sometimes he’d treat the viewers to more than two streams, though, and to be honest, Banri was kind of looking forward to things like that. If he was lucky to catch them, that was…

“Ah, what am I thinking.” Banri sighs, rubbing his face. “I’m getting so obsessed over this person…is this what fans of Twitch streamers feel like.”

His eyes flicker down to Daffodil’s face on the screen of his computer, one of the gentle post-orgasm smiles he often had spread over his face, and sighs, rubbing the space between his eyebrows.

“Aah, whatever. It’s fine.” 

It was perfectly normal for a boy of his age to watch porn. He didn’t have to feel any guilt about it at all. 

So watch was exactly what he did.

Banri watches Daffodil thrusts into a fleshlight as he eats instant noodles, and almost spilling it over his crotch. Watches as he rides another monster dildo, taking it in from both sides, and nearly slips on a dropped tissue paper in the bathroom. As Daffodil fucks himself silly on a dildo attached to the wall, and he pays so much without realising he’s done it before he sees his name in the top 3 tippers.

It’s at this point, Banri realises how much he’s gotten into Daffodil’s streams. Sure, he knew that he was maybe paying a little bit  _ too  _ much attention to this boy, but he hadn’t expected it to be to this extent. If Itaru knew, he’d probably be laughing at him...though, Banri could always laugh at him for being horny over his senpai. And he  _ absolutely  _ couldn’t tell Kazu, or he’d never let him see the end of it.

But it wasn’t like he could just  _ stop  _ watching at this point. He wanted to see Daffodil -- he wanted to see him lose himself, doing whatever it is he wanted to do, showing whatever he wanted to show, and more than anything, he wanted to support him. It would be nice to see him smile, as well…

His phone goes off with a timer, and Banri nearly falls off his bed grabbing the phone, before navigating back to BloomHub. It was time for another stream, and he didn’t like to be too late for them. (Really, he was whipped by this guy…) 

He finds himself on the stream site just as his phone lights up with a notification that Daffodil had started streaming. He pumps his fist, in a little show of victory over the notification, and then realises, chewing on his lip and hoping no one had seen.

“Good evening, everyone,” Daffodil says, just as the stream starts to load up. “I hope you’re all doing well today. It’s still a little early, so I’ll be just reading the chat for a bit.”

Banri types without thinking.

[hey daffodil]  
“Ah, NEO-san,” Daffodil says, eyes softening slightly. It’s small, but Banri notices it. “Good evening. You’re here early, too.”

Banri doesn’t want to tell Daffodil that he purposefully joins at least ten minutes before each streaming time so he has an opportunity to chat to him, and instead sends a shrug emoji followed by the words [had time on my hands.]

“I’m sure you do.” Daffodil speaks to other people in the chat as well, keeping the mood pretty friendly amongst the chat. 

It’s always just a little bit amazing, how Daffodil can manage to keep the chat from becoming too rowdy. Banri has never really seen anyone talk out of turn while bidding, or interrupt successful bidders from sending their commands to Daffodil, nor say anything mean in chats. If someone comes along does, they’re often dogpiled upon by the other chatters so Daffodil doesn’t notice, or kicked out by the vigilant mod team. It’s a very friendly atmosphere, and Banri has no idea how Daffodil has managed to create such a patient and kind fanbase, especially under his line of work.

Around ten minutes later, on the dot, Daffodil adjusts his camera again, and then pulls back, revealing his full body. Today, he’s wearing a cute sweatervest and shirt combination. The camera’s adjusted in a way that doesn’t allow the viewers to see below his stomach, which is honestly a waste, and worries Banri ever so slightly. Despite this little worry, Daffodil’s more dressed than Banri has ever seen him so far.

“Today,” Daffodil says, “I was thinking I could try something special for you guys to say thank you for all the help. No need to bid for me to take my clothes off, but tips would be appreciated.”

Banri sends a thousand yen his way. Daffodil’s eyes soften even more, a hint of surprise following the gaze.

“Let’s start, shall we…?”

Daffodil turns to face the camera properly, pulling his tie from his sweatervest, and slowly working his fingers up and down the fabric, and pulls the tie free in a slow movement that shouldn’t look sexy, but was. The tie is pulled straight, dark blue fabric sliding over Daffodil’s skin, and is promptly dropped to the side, as Daffodil moves onto the next item of fabric, running his fingers over the hem of his sweatervest. It’s pulled off in a slow movement, the hint of his stomach being revealed as he lifts his arms over his head, pulling his shirt with it. 

Hidden underneath the shirt, Banri can see the hint of something dark, but he can’t tell exactly what it is. He doesn’t have long to wonder, though, as Daffodil starts to slowly unbutton the shirt -- which is, again, slightly too big for him, and shrug it gently off of his shoulders -- to reveal two flowers on his chest, another dark shade of blue, covering his nipples in a cheeky kind of way.

Daffodil runs his fingers over the edges of the stickers -- the pasties, Banri thinks, and wonders how he knows that -- and gives the camera a wry little smile. He approaches, zooms the camera out, and returns to his spot, and Banri nearly falls over at the full view of him.

Paired with his now almost naked upper body, Daffodil is wearing a skirt. It’s red and short, ending about halfway down his upper thighs, with stockings and a garterbelt of the same red color. Banri feels like he’s going to die, certainly. He actually felt like those protagonists in ridiculous slice of life animes who spurted blood from their noses, to put it promptly.

“How do you like it…?” Daffodil asks, turning around for all of them to see. “It’s nice, right?”

The chat bursts with activity, openly complimenting him and saying how sexy it looks, and how much sexier it would look on the floor with the rest of his clothes. Banri agreed very much so with the latter.

“I just thought of something,” Daffodil says, suddenly. “Today, I’ll be doing something other than this as well, so...I know I said I wouldn’t ask you to bid, so don’t tip too much, but...if you think I should keep the skirt on while I...do that, maybe send a small amount over?”

The options felt life-threatening. On one hand, seeing Daffodil fully naked is an absolute treat to behold. On the other, if Daffodil was going to fuck himself on something...maybe he was taking this too seriously, but he did have a real dilemma on his hands.

He sends two hundred yen over.

“NEO-san,” Daffodil says. “How quick…! Does anyone else want to see me keep the skirt on? The stockings will come off, though...of course. Unless you’d like me to keep it on…?”

It’s annoyingly cute that he flushes when saying it. Banri wants to crawl into his computer screen and kiss him silly. 

It’s a weird thought, and yet, it keeps running around his head like a man on a mission. _I want to kiss him, I want to kiss him, I want to kiss him_.

The tips come in quickly, and Daffodil flushes prettily, his eyes crinkling at the corners in that cute way of his. He chuckles, mostly to himself, and turns around, bending over, skirt flipping up to show what’s underneath -- another pair of panties, this time. Banri doesn’t have the same knee-jerk reaction, but his cock definitely twitches at the sight of the adorable looking panties Daffodil has on -- cute red panties, dipping low in the back. When he turns to the front, he pulls his skirt up, face still bright red, and his dripping cock is straining against the lace fabric, creating a wet spot.

Banri’s eyes are instantly drawn to the little red ribbon at the hem.

“How do you like them…?” Daffodil asks, lifting his skirt up a little higher. “This pair of panties...I went out today to get them specially.”

His tongue runs over his lips, and he releases one corner of the skirt to run his fingers slowly over the semi-transparent fabric, slowly up and down his cock, before letting the skirt drop, a little tent forming from how hard he is. Banri’s hand is on his own dick almost instantly, watching Daffodil take a seat on the bed.

With grace (and impressive core strength,) Daffodil raises a clean shaven, slender leg, and undoes the garter belt, before moving to slowly strip the stockings off, bright fabric giving way to the skin that Banri is now overly familiar with. It’s not a porn video, so there’s no close zoom ins, following the fabric leaving the skin, but honestly, Banri prefers it that way. He’s already dying as is.

Daffodil moves to the next leg, slowly peeling off the fabric, and then his legs spread slightly, revealing the panties underneath. Banri’s half tempted to just...ask him to keep it on, maybe pull it to the side if he’s going to fuck something, instead of just...taking them off. He swallows, and sends a generous tip.

“NEO-san,” Daffodil says. “What a big tip…? I thought I said we weren’t tipping?”  
[i have a request], Banri types. [can you keep the panties on]

The chat is...in two minds about this. One half agrees with Banri, wanting Daffodil to keep the panties on and just pull them aside if he has to put anything in, while the other half wants to just see Daffodil completely naked. Daffodil himself looks a little bit conflicted, the tent in his skirt twitching slightly, as if his cock wants to be free from its restraints. Banri swallows.

“Alright,” Daffodil says, eventually. “I’ll give it a go. If it’s...too difficult for me, I’ll take it off. Is that alright?”  
[more than ok] Banri replies, and Daffodil smiles in that angelic way of his.  
“I’m going to go ahead, then.”

The camera moves -- from the way he’s lifting it, Banri can tell that Daffodil is lifting a laptop, which explains why he can read the chat so well. They’re brought over to what looks like a couch, and Daffodil spends a few moments angling the camera down -- obscuring his adorable face, but showing the rest of his body, clean and pretty, if not for the wet spot now growing on Tsumugi’s skirt. Banri feels like this was a special call out just to  _ him _ .

A pillow appears in screen, Daffodil having brought it in, and he flips his skirt up, making a small little noise. He ducks down, to show his face to the camera again, giving them a gentle smile with his dimples showing even better at this closer angle.

“I’ll be doing this today. I hope it’s okay if you just watch -- the lace makes me...rather sensitive.” he says, and then his face vanishes from the screen.

_ What is he doing?  _ Banri thinks, and then he sees him.

Daffodil places the pillow between his legs, adjusts his skirt again, and starts to grind against it, making sure to properly rub his cock against the fabric of the pillow, which, as Banri has noticed, is slightly ridged, allowing for more contact. Daffodil lets out a whimpered moan, followed by a sharp gasp as he starts to rock his hips into the pillow. Following the line of his spine, Banri can tell that his head is leant back, the movement of his hips shaking the skirt around him. He can’t exactly see Daffodil’s cock, but he can hear it, wet noises sounding every time Daffodil pushes forward.

“Ah -- hnn -- “ Daffodil whimpers, and Banri finds his hand following the pace that Daffodil is setting with his rutting. “It’s -- hnn -- better than I expect -- ah -- ted…”  
[holy shit] Banri types, and Daffodil, somehow, notices, because he chuckles.  
“I hope this -- hah -- looks good to you,” he breathes, swallowing. The movement of just that rolls down his whole body. “Because it certainly...feels good…”

Looking  _ good  _ is an understatement. Daffodil looks  _ ethereal _ . From the sweat starting to roll down his stomach, to the fluid staining itself on the pillow, the little glimpses one would get of his perfect, wet lips as he thrusted, and the sound of the gentle whimpers and moans leaving his lips -- it was as if Daffodil was some sex god, with the voice and face of the sweetest angel, but the body of the cruelest devil.

“I’m gonna come already,” Daffodil whispers, voice barely audible. “Let me come…”

The chat sends their affirmatives, but Banri licks his lips.

[can you hold on a little longer] he asks.

Daffodil lets out a gasp, fingers curling a little harder into the pillow.

“Noo…” he breathes. “Let me come…”

But he holds on. Surprisingly. Banri hadn’t expected him to see his comment, given his state. Banri rubs the head of his own cock, and he can feel his own orgasm coming up. Leaning down, he bites his shirt, yanking it up away from the ‘blast zone’. He doesn’t want to have to wash another shirt due to the stains already.

[go ahead] he types. The rest of the chat agrees.  
“I’m coming -- coming -- “ Daffodil comes, sticky cum staining the top of his skirt and the pillow, and surely the hidden panties below. 

Daffodil’s panting, the hidden bulge still twitching slightly. The camera’s shifted up, to Daffodil’s face, which is red, his tongue hanging out slightly as he pants, shoulders shaking with the effort of it all. Banri watches as his shoulders begin to still, as Daffodil starts to relax. There’s movement below him, and the cum-soaked panties come into view. Daffodil swallows down a breath, and then smiles.

“They’re all ruined now, because of you,” he says, to the camera, and sticks his perfect tongue out, licking up his mess from the fabric.

Banri comes, thankfully saving his shirt from the release, but staining all over his stomach as he watches Daffodil lick up all the cum, and holding his tongue out for all the viewers to see. As he swallows, he waves goodbye to the camera, and shuts the stream off. It’s a little bit of an abrupt end, but the stream time is over, anyway. Banri is heaving, rubbing his temples as he still holds onto his shirt with his teeth. He’s about to stand to clean up, when his browser window  _ dings _ .

Someone’s sent him a private message on the site.

Curious, he clicks to see, and the shirt drops from his open mouth.

**Daffodil_Darling: ** thanks for tonight : )


	3. chapter three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the man behind the screen has a moment to shine!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know i posted a chapter yesterday, but i wanted to post another one because, uh. yeah
> 
> a3 english is coming out soon and im Super Excited...

**Daffodil_Darling: ** thanks for tonight : )

“Aah...I sent it.”

Tsumugi leans back in his chair, still naked from the stream. He looks down at his skirt, and the panties hidden behind, and at the cushions he’s currently stained. He rubs his face, reaching out to pull the laptop closed. 

“I’ll see if he replies later,” he says, and stretches out, tensing all over, before releasing, moving to slowly stand. “Taa-chan…?”  
“Oh, you’re done?” 

Tasuku opens the door, headphones around his neck. He blinks at Tsumugi for a few moments, and then snorts, unable to help himself. Tsumugi’s face goes even redder than before, a little giggle escaping from his own lips. He can’t help it -- the situation is a little funny, he can admit. What with your childhood friend in your living room, making a mess of your couch and the  _ skirt  _ he’s wearing -- if Tsumugi was in Tasuku’s position, he’d laugh, too.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to laugh, but -- “ Tasuku begins, before snorting again. “Ahaha -- “  
“No, go ahead,” Tsumugi replies, covering his own mouth as he snickers. “Can I borrow your shower -- pfft -- “  
“Yeah, sure, this way.” 

Tasuku ducks away from the door, still laughing, and Tsumugi lets out a little sigh of relief. Asking Tasuku to lend him his nice living room to do this kind of thing was really anxiety-inducing.

( _ The conversation had gone a little oddly at first. Tsumugi had been skirting around the issue for the past few days -- he needed a place to do another one of his streams, and he didn’t  _ ** _really _ ** _ want to use his terrible apartment as a place to film just yet. Let him renovate a little, or at least clean it out a little more. It was a pigsty in there, sometimes... _

_ “Okay, what is it.”   
_ _ “Huh?” _

_ Tasuku taps the side of his beer glass, watching Tsumugi from his side of the booth they were in. Tsumugi had offered to take them out to dinner, and they’d entered this little ramen store, small but homely feeling. They each already had a glass of beer, even Tsumugi, who needed a little bit of alcohol to inspire him. _

__ “Well,” Tasuku had said, “you seem to have been wondering about something these past few days. Just say it, I’m not going to get mad.”  
_ “You don’t know what it is, though,” Tsumugi asks, feeling his cheeks heat up.  
_ __ “Yeah, but I have an idea of what it might be."

_ Tsumugi runs a finger against the rim of the beer mug, and then looks over at Tasuku, who’s shoving a mouthful of ramen in his mouth. He swallows. _

_ “Can I borrow your living room to fuck myself on your couch?” _

_ Tasuku chokes. _ )

“Over here.” Tasuku says, tapping a door. “This is the one.”  
“Ah, okay. Thank you, Taa-chan.”

Tsumugi middles in the doorway. Tasuku also doesn’t move, staring at him for a few moments, before Tsumugi pats his skirt slightly.

“Um, Tasuku -- “  
“I’m about to go get your towel and clothes.” Tasuku says. “Why, are you waiting for something else?”  
“Not in particular.” Tsumugi replies, and gives him a smile. “Thanks.”  
“Yeah, yeah.”

Tsumugi steps into the bathroom, and closes the door behind him. He drops the rest of his clothes to the floor (there aren’t a lot) and then gets into the shower, turning the shower on to rinse his body off. The cum and saliva drips off of him, and pushes his hair out of his face. Today’s show was good, he decides, pumping some soap into his hand. 

He soaps himself up, making sure he’s careful to clean up everywhere. The stream hadn’t gone exactly as Tsumugi had expected, which was a given, considering that one never really plans streams, but it was mostly because of NEO that he had to keep his panties on. 

NEO, huh…

This mysterious username had showed up one day out of nowhere, joining one of his streams and dropping an absolutely  _ ridiculous  _ amount of money into his lap. Five months ago, if someone had told Tsumugi that he’d make twenty-five thousand yen in five minutes, he’d laugh and tell them that they were being silly. And yet, that was exactly what had happened.

The water slides down his shoulder, and Tsumugi briefly wonders if doing a stream in the shower is worth the pain of waterproofing his camera…

As he rubs shampoo into his hair, Tsumugi’s thoughts wander over to NEO, again. What kind of person managed to catch every single stream he put on? He must not be a busy person...and with the amount of money he had… perhaps he was a rich man living in a mansion somewhere? 

Whoever he was, Tsumugi had to show appreciation for all the support that he’d given him, though.

The door to the bathroom opens, and Tasuku comes in, holding up one of his shirts, and a pair of shorts and underwear he’d left the last time he came over. He sets the clothes down, hangs the towel on the rail, and then sits down on the toilet, watching him for a moment.

“Tsumu,” Tasuku says, when Tsumugi surfaces from rinsing his hair, “do you really enjoy this?”

It’s a question that Tsumugi has certainly heard before. He shuts the water off, letting his hair drip onto the tiled floor for a few moments, before grabbing the towel, wrapping it around his body.

“What would you do if I said no?” Tsumugi says. “If I hadn’t -- “  
“Don’t think about it.” Tasuku interrupts. “Don’t, okay? I was just asking.”

( _ “You’re a terrible person, Tsukioka-sensei!” _ )

“Want to help me blowdry my hair?” Tsumugi asks.  
“No.” Tasuku replies, already standing up to get the hair dryer. “Stand still.”

Tasuku’s careful, anyway. As careful as a 185 centimetre tall firefighter can be with someone’s hair, which, surprisingly, is a lot. Tsumugi’s mind wanders, remembering the private message he’d sent to NEO. He’d check it once he was done changing, and maybe learn more about the mysterious person behind the screen. 

“All done.” Tasuku sets the hair dryer down. “Go change and get something to eat before checking your messages.”  
“Whoever dates you will be so lucky.” Tsumugi teases. Tasuku hits his back. “Ow…”  
“Get dry, Tsumu.”  
“Mmhm.”

Tasuku finally leaves Tsumugi in the bathroom by himself, and he starts on drying off, humming a tune to himself as he does so. It’s a quiet little moment to himself, and his mind wanders back to the question Tasuku asked him. 

_ “Do you really enjoy this?” _

Did he? He wasn’t sure, but it got him good money, and he felt good while doing it. It wasn’t  _ terrible _ , to say the least, but it could certainly be better. It’s not bad, though, he decides. It’s not bad at all, considering what he was doing previously.

Remembering it made his stomach churn, and he swallows, refusing to let his thoughts go any further.

He pulls on the clothes, grabs the plate of sushi from the kitchen counter, and settles himself at one of the stools to check his messages.

**NEO: ** oh its nothing  
**NEO: ** im glad you enjoyed yourself

He’s responded. Tsumugi’s eyes widen slightly, and he leans a little forward, scanning the messages. 

**Daffodil_Darling: ** How sweet, thank you!  
**Daffodil_Darling: ** You’ve been coming to a lot of my shows lately, and tipping a lot. I really appreciate that, too.  
**NEO: ** really its nothing lol  
**NEO: ** i like to see you enjoy yourself  
**Daffodil_Darling: ** How suave.  
**Daffodil_Darling: ** I was thinking, as a thank you for all the love you’ve shown me, I should pay it back to you in some way.  
**Daffodil_Darling: ** How about I do a private show for you?

This time, Tsumugi has enough time to eat a piece or two of sushi before NEO responds.

**NEO: ** right now?  
**Daffodil_Darling: ** Whenever you like.

Another pause. Tasuku is called to the station, and tells Tsumugi to be safe while he’s gone. Tsumugi waves him off and tells him he’ll be fine. Tasuku's hesitation is clear, and he heads over to rub at Tsumugi's hair before going, fortunately missing Tsumugi's huff.

**NEO: ** todays stream looked kinda tiring  
**NEO: ** not today if you’re sure about doing it. rest a little

The care makes Tsumugi’s heart pump a little faster, for some reason. He swallows down his feelings.

**Daffodil_Darling: ** Well, let me know whenever you’d like to do it.  
**Daffodil_Darling: ** NEO-san, how did you find out about me, anyway?  
**NEO: ** oh me? uh  
**NEO: ** a friend introduced me to the site and you were the prettiest one there so  
**Daffodil_Darling: ** No need to flatter me…  
**NEO: ** im not  
**NEO: ** its true  
**Daffodil_Darling: ** Come on, now…

Tasuku had always told Tsumugi to be receptive of compliments and accept them where he could, instead of just denying every nice thing someone says about him, but it was much easier said than done. He chews on his lower lip, watching as NEO starts to type again, and then soon receives another message.

**NEO: ** tbh i didnt think someone who looked as pretty as you do would wind up on a site like this

Another comment Tsumugi’s often heard. He tucks a strand of hair behind his ear, and starts to type in response.

**Daffodil_Darling: ** I didn’t expect to have someone as silver tongued as |

No, that’d be considered flirting, right? As much as Tsumugi is tempted to send it, he doesn’t want to risk anything so early on. He isn’t even sure if NEO will keep supporting him after he ends up doing that private show he mentioned. Maybe he should be honest?

**Daffodil_Darling: ** I don’t really want to |

Absolutely not.

Maybe he should just accept the compliment and skirt around the issue as much as possible. 

**Daffodil_Darling: ** There you go with the compliments again, NEO-san.  
**Daffodil_Darling: ** It’s my job, after all. One of them.  
**NEO: ** eh, daffodil has other jobs?  
**Daffodil_Darling: ** It’s awfully weird to hear that name like that…  
**NEO: ** then what should i call you?

Tsumugi bites his lip.

**Daffodil_Darling: ** Tsumugi is fine.

* * *

“Oi, Settsuaaaar, are you in love or something ~ ?”

Banri blinks into focus, looking up at the lecture taking place in front of him. The teacher has started to drone on about art history in the 1800s, and Banri looks down at his notes. As expected, he’d started sketching without thinking again -- except this time, instead of weird animals or shadowy figures, Daffodil -- no,  _ Tsumugi _ \-- had started to appear all over his lined paper. He rubs his forehead, groaning to himself.

“Settsuar. Hey, hey, who is that.”

Banri looks over to see Kazu (what the hell came after ‘Kazu’? What was his whole name? He was his senior, right, so shouldn’t he be calling him Kazu-senpai or something? God --) peering over at his piece of paper. Unsurprisingly, Kazu’s own paper was filled with figures of some kind or another, but no faces that Banri could recognise. He glances down at his paper again, and then back at Kazu.

“He’s…” Banri begins, not sure how to put this. “Well…”  
“Hang on hang on...I recognise this person a little bit…” Kazu’s eyes scan the paper, and then a bright smile crosses his face. “ _ Settsuar _ , you listened to meeeee…”  
“Eh? What the fuck, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Banri’s face betrays him, lighting up in embarrassment.

This only seems to incite Kazu more, holding onto Banri’s arm. He gives him an even brighter grin, somehow, and pokes his cheek, teasing light more than visible in his eyes.

“So so...are  _ you  _ NEO?”

Banri’s caught like a deer in headlights, blankly blinking at Kazu as he keeps gently poking his shoulder, trying to get him to answer. Honestly, his face is answer enough as it is, but Banri has a feeling Kazu wants him to say it. While he doesn’t really want to give Kazu the satisfaction of knowing that he was right and that BloomHub was great, and that Tsumugi is absolutely  _ incredible _ , out of the corner of his eye, he can spot a  _ slight  _ inaccuracy in the way Tsumugi’s hair falls, and it’s driving him insane.

“Yes, yes, I’m NEO,” Banri hisses, pulling away to erase it. “Don’t speak so loudly, if anyone else heard -- “  
“Got it got it, a big secret,” Kazu says, staring pointedly at his drawings. “Sooooo...you’re a fan of Daffodil-chan too, huh?”__   
“Can you not call him that.” The annoyance in Banri’s voice comes from absolutely nowhere. Definitely, nowhere. “Jeez.”  
“Why is it a bad thing? Daffodil-chan is such a good performer...you caught that special stream yesterday, right?”

_ That and more, _ is what Banri thinks.

“Of course I did.” is what Banri says.  
“Aaaah, isn’t he good.” Kazu sighs, eyes sparkling slightly. “Settsuar, shouldn’t you save your money, though?”  
“It’s fine.” Banri waves him off, tapping the pencil against the paper of his sketchbook.

Banri has enough money to last him for a very long time -- and making it isn’t that hard, he’s sure of it. He’s lived his life on Easy Mode for so long, he’s sure these sorts of things aren’t going to be an exception.

“Yeah, yeah, okay, Settsuar...How lucky it is, to have money ~ “ Kazu says, and then leans on his hand, looking back at the lecturer for a moment.

She seems to have started talking about color theory. Banri gives her a few seconds of his time, before going back to sketching Tsumugi. It’s hard to capture exactly how he looks in just his flimsy method of pencil and paper, but he does his best to, anyway. He can feel Kazu’s eyes on him, studying his pencil as it glides over the paper, and then Kazu elbows him.

“Hey hey, Settsuar, you never answered my first question.” he says.  
“What?” Banri replies.  
“Are you in love with Daffodil-chan or something? You’re drawing him all over the page. I’m scared the next time I’ll look over I’ll see something X-rated ~ “  
“Don’t look, then,” Banri says, huffing.

It’s a good question, though. Obviously, Banri shouldn’t be in love with a mysterious camboy that he only knows the name of, but...he still hasn’t forgotten the feeling of possessiveness when he’d first saw him. He runs his finger against one of the drawings he’s done, careful not to smudge the pencil.

“Dunno.” Banri eventually answers, looking over at Kazu. ( _ What _ is his full name…) “Couldn’t tell you.”  
“Eeeeh, what do you mean?” Kazu asks. “If you’re in love with someone, you should know…?”  
“Not really.” Banri says. “I’ve never been in love before.”  
“Aaaah…” Kazu muses, watching him for a little longer. “Eeh, hang on a second. You’ve never been in love before?”  
“No?” At least, not that Banri is aware of.  
“Well then, let your friendly Kazunari-senpai give you advice on being in love, then.” Kazunari (thank  _ God _ ) says.

Banri has a feeling this is going to be a very,  _ very _ , long lecture.

* * *

Banri and Tsumugi keep talking. After each show Tsumugi would do, he’d send Banri a message if he’d seen in him in the chat, from simple things like “How are you today?” to more complicated things like “What did you think of that position?”

Each conversation made Banri both feel extremely nervous, and extremely privileged to be able to speak to Tsumugi like this, so casually. As if they were friends. Every now and then, Tsumugi would remind him of the private show, and every now and then, Banri would say “not yet.” He didn’t want to stop talking with him, and Tsumugi always mentioned it after a stream. Wasn’t he tired?

**Daffodil_Darling: ** NEO-san, good afternoon. 

Banri nearly jumps out of his seat at the notification, charcoal clattering from his hand. He blinks, glances at the time on his phone, and then looks back at the notification. He didn’t get a notification that Tsumugi was doing a stream, nor was he expecting a message at this time. He’d never sent any messages to Tsumugi in the afternoon, much less when he was in class. 

But he couldn’t exactly keep him waiting, right?

Flustering around to wipe his hands on the cloth, and barely stopping himself from wiping the charcoal from his face (it’s a  _ text _ , Banri), he picks his phone up to reply to him. 

**NEO: ** tsumugi-san, hey  
**NEO: ** its early today lol  
**Daffodil_Darling: ** I know.   
**Daffodil_Darling: ** I just felt like talking to you.

Banri almost falls over, nearly tipping his box of charcoal upside down. He swallows down his heart before it can escape, and holds his phone a little closer, quickly texting Daffodil back. He can’t help the feeling in his chest, the little fluttering of his heart at the simple, unassuming message.

**NEO: ** lmao  
**NEO: ** i was just thinking about you too  
**Daffodil_Darling: ** Oh? What about?  
**Daffodil_Darling: ** :)

God, he can’t  _ say  _ things like this. Banri is going to have a heart attack in school. He shakes his head quickly, groaning to himself as he finds a proper position to sit on his stool. His charcoal art is looking better by the moment, he thinks, as he looks away from the phone for a second to study it. He reaches a hand out, smudging some of the charcoal further into the background, and tilts his head slightly. It looks good, but Banri wonders how it'd look when it was finished.

His phone buzzes again, and like a high school girl waiting for a text from her crush, he picks the phone up to check the notification.

**Daffodil_Darling: ** I’m only teasing you. You don’t have to say if you don’t want to.

Banri groans again, a little louder, and presses his face against the painting, getting charcoal dust all over his forehead.

**NEO: ** how cute can you get lol  
**NEO: ** who randomly texts someone in the middle of the day like this  
**NEO: ** im at school  
**Daffodil_Darling: ** NEO-san, you’re in school?  
**NEO: ** uh huh  
**NEO: ** uni student life  
**Daffodil_Darling: ** Ah, I see.  
**Daffodil_Darling: ** Should I stop texting? Am I bothering you in class?  
**Daffodil_Darling: ** Always listen to your teacher, NEO-kun.

Banri snorts, pushing his hair out of his face as he starts to text him back again.

**NEO: **whats with the sudden change in honorific  
**NEO: **could it be that you thought i was some old man  
**Daffodil_Darling: **...  
**NEO: **tsumugi-san  
**NEO: **tsumugi-san............  
**Daffodil_Darling: **Pay attention in class.

Cute...he's seriously so cute... Banri suppresses the urge to just yell, groaning a little to himself as he does so.

**NEO: ** yes yes tsumugi-sensei i’m paying attention in class  
**NEO: ** its just a workshop lesson im basically free to do w/e i want

Tsumugi doesn’t respond immediately, so Banri puts his phone down, looking up at the canvas again. A figure has started to materialise himself on his canvas, with slim shoulders and a slender frame, pressing their fingers gently to their lips, facing just off center, as if directing their eyes to somewhere far in the distance. Banri picks up the charcoal, starting to block out where the collarbones would be, when his phone buzzes.

**Daffodil_Darling: ** Sorry for worrying so much.  
**Daffodil_Darling: ** I just think it’s important you get a good education, NEO-kun.  
**NEO: ** im living on super easy mode tsumugi-san  
**NEO: ** but i’ll do as you say <3

He wonders if the heart is too much, but he doesn’t have much time to think about it before Tsumugi sends a message back.

**Daffodil_Darling: ** Yes, I know <3

Banri falls out of his stool and hits the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on [twitter](www.twitter.com/zahransandwich) to scream about dear daffodil with me !!


	4. chapter four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the private show is a go...

“Hey, hey, Settsuar.”

Kazunari waves goodbye to his friends, and drops beside Banri, crossing his legs as he looks over at him. In front of him is food stacked on a tray, looking like enough for two people. Banri can’t help but look over at it, before looking over at Kazunari, who gives him a cheeky smile. 

“Soooo.” Kazunari says. “How’s things.”  
“If you’re here to ask me about Daffodil-san -- “ Banri begins, only to see Kazunari’s smile widen. “Hang on a second -- “  
“I wasn’t thinking about it, but now I _have _to,” Kazunari teases, poking his side gently. “You’ve really been spacing out, Settsuar! What’s going on?”  
“Nothing.” 

What has been going on is, in fact, a lot more than ‘nothing’. Banri’s exchanges with Tsumugi are growing more frequent, more regular, until Banri finds himself actively waiting for a message back throughout the day. What was he, some lovesick  _ child _ ? Why did his heart soar at the sight of a message — they’d never even talked over the phone before, much less seen each other’s face. It’s been a very one-way street in their relationship!

“Soooo, what is it about Daffodil-chan?”

If Banri was paying any attention to Kazunari, he’d probably hear the slight drop in his tone. However, he wasn’t, mind still running through possibilities and thoughts about Tsumugi in general. He just wondered what it would be to actually hear his voice, speaking _to _him...what would it be like to see his face, looking at him...

“Whooo, Settsuar really is lovestruck!” These sentences come out a lot more Kazu-ified. “Are you texting or something?”  
“I think I can get a lot more than texting,” Banri says, to himself, and Kazunari shakes his shoulder. “Hey, what — “  
“I’m so _jealous_,” Kazunari whines, “I want to get special treatment from Daffodil-chan, too!”  
“Too bad,” Banri says, and then realises it. 

He really is being treated specially, isn’t he? Who can say that they get to chat to the infamous Daffodil_Darling so easily and so frequently? Not many people. Banri is very lucky. He swallows, looking down at his phone, and then back up at Kazunari, who has his laptop out, now. One hand moves over his trackpad, and the other shoves a fry into his mouth. What Banri’s sure is salt is on his cheek, and he reaches out to flick it away.

The fry drops from Kazunari’s mouth, and he gives Banri an incredulous look.

“...Settsuar,” he says, and Banri shrugs at him. “Woo~w, so romantic ~ “  
“It’s not good for your look,” Banri replies. “‘Kay, I gotta go to class.”

He grabs three fries from Kazunari, laughing when he complains, and starts off. Kazunari watches him as he goes, and sighs, loudly, placing a hand over his cheek. Banri’s fingers felt like fire on his skin.

“This  _ sucks _ ,” he mumbles to himself, fingers pressing against the area he'd been touched.

* * *

**Daffodil_Darling: ** Good evening, NEO-kun.  
**Daffodil_Darling: ** I’ve been wondering something.

Banri’s lying on his bed, phone held over his face as he browses through YouTube. At the message, the phone slips out of his hands and whacks his face. A groan leaving his lips, he turns over onto his stomach, holding the phone out properly to text Tsumugi back.

**NEO: ** oh yeah? whats up  
**Daffodil_Darling: ** Well, are you free tonight?  
**NEO: ** ya  
**NEO: ** i havent planned anything yet. whats up  
**Daffodil_Darling: ** Maybe it’s time for us to finally do that stream I promised you?

Banri blinks at the screen. He’d actually  _ completely  _ forgotten about the stream that Tsumugi had talked about the first time they’d began talking. He ran a hand through his hair, pursing his lips. He wanted to play this out a little longer -- he wanted to spend more time talking with Tsumugi. Perhaps he should just ask if...Tsumugi wanted to keep talking after the stream? 

**NEO: ** sure but  
**NEO: ** tsumugi-san can i ask something?  
**Daffodil_Darling: ** Of course.  
**NEO: ** well  
**NEO: ** after this do you still wanna talk?

The question leaves his fingers faster than his mind can process the consequences of his actions, which seems to be a running thing when it comes to Tsumugi. He rubs his temples, staring at the phone screen for a few moments. Tsumugi replies almost instantly, despite his worries.

**Daffodil_Darling: ** I still do.  
**Daffodil_Darling: ** That is, if you’re alright with it.  
**Daffodil_Darling: ** I find it fun talking to you.  
**NEO: ** a

Ah. Banri blinks. A silly smile crosses over his face, rolling over onto his back and covering his face. The world felt like it was sparkling, somehow, little prisms of light entering his vision.

**Daffodil_Darling: ** NEO-kun?  
**Daffodil_Darling: ** Are you alright?  
**Daffodil_Darling: ** Hello?

Aaaah, he should respond, but Banri’s heart is fluttering like a moth in a cage, the goofy smile on his face totally subverting his ‘cool image’, and he quickly buries his face into his pillows, a little giggle leaving his lips as he did so. Banri is -- so happy. Ridiculously so. He’s not even sure why he’s so happy -- it was probably because talking with Tsumugi was so fun. It made him smile even when there was no reason to.

**NEO: ** yeah im good  
**NEO: ** sorry had smth to do  
**NEO: ** im glad   
**Daffodil_Darling: ** About what?  
**NEO: ** that you still wanna talk lol  
**NEO: ** anyway uh  
**NEO: ** the stream…….  
**Daffodil_Darling: ** Haha. Alright, NEO-kun. Let me get ready. Do you have a Skype?  
**NEO: ** same name yeah haha  
**Daffodil_Darling: ** Alright. I’ll find you.

Banri sits up properly, almost running over to his computer. He definitely trips over a tissue box in the way, which he ignores at first, and then grabs, throwing onto the table. As he throws himself into his computer chair, it tips over, and slams him against the floor. Expletives come from his throat, deciding to just lie on the floor for a few moments.

This was the epitome of humiliation.

Skype sounds on his computer, and Banri picks himself up as much as he can so he’s sorted enough, just in case Tsumugi decides he wants to see his face as well. (He probably doesn’t? Banri has no idea how these things work. Maybe it’s up to him whether he wants to show his face or not? Or his voice????)

_ TsumTsuki added you as a friend. _

“Are you for  _ real _ ,” Banri says. “That’s so cute…”

He adds him back with no hesitation, and quickly sends a message his way, a simple little smiley face. Tsumugi takes a little while to respond, but he sends a heart emoji back, which nearly makes Banri fall off of the chair again.

_ TsumTsuki is calling… _

Oh, man. Banri was nervous. He knew he probably didn’t even have to speak, or show his face, but he was nervous. He swallows down the anxiety gathering in his gut, and answers the call.

The first thing he sees on his screen is Tsumugi’s lips, as if he’s adjusting the camera. Banri blinks, moving to quickly turn his camera off -- for the time being, he’s sure he’s in such a state that he wouldn’t want Tsumugi to see him. If Banri was sure he looked any bit cooler, he’d definitely keep it on.

“Hello?” Tsumugi says, and Banri coughs. “NEO-kun, your camera.”  
“I turned it off.” Banri’s voice sounds like a creaky rocking chair. He coughs again. “Do you want it to be on?”

Tsumugi leans back, adjusting the glasses on his face -- the gla - Tsumugi really wants Banri to die, doesn’t he -- and gives the camera an angelic smile. Gives  _ Banri _ that smile. Heart beating a mile a minute, Banri observes Tsumugi’s chosen outfit for this video call. 

It’s another one of those cute sweaters, the sleeves just a tad longer than his hands, and hanging off one shoulder. ( _ He should get more fitting clothes, _ Banri thinks to himself, but he also thinks that the gap moe in the outfit is just cute as is.) The shorts that he’s wearing are high-waisted, and end at the top of his thighs. The highlight of his whole outfit are those  _ glasses _ , of course...

“Well, if you’re uncomfortable, I won’t force you.” Tsumugi says. “But if you could keep the voice part of it going…"

Tsumugi’s eyes flicker off to the side of the screen, and Banri can see a soft red flush cross over his cheeks.

“I would like that.” he ends up saying. "Your voice is wonderful, NEO-kun."

Banri keels over. His head slams onto the table, and Tsumugi jumps at the noise, standing up to approach the laptop. The move is both incredibly healing and incredibly deadly -- Banri glances over to the screen and sees Tsumugi’s legs, and thinks he’s probably in heaven.

“You’re so pretty,” Banri says, in another case of ‘mouth-moves-faster-than-brain” syndrome. “Seriously, Tsumugi-san…”  
“NEO-kun,” Tsumugi sounds meek. Banri would look up to see his reaction, but he absolutely sure he’s died. “...Thank you. But, um...are you alright?”

_ Am I? _ Banri wonders to himself, but soon finally pulls his head up. Tsumugi’s giving him a worried look on the screen, and Banri’s heart skips a beat. He swallows, and makes a little noise of agreement.

“I’m alright.” he says. “Did I worry you, Tsumugi-san?”  
“Only a little.” Tsumugi’s voice is a little shy. “I’m glad you’re alright, NEO-kun.”

Settled properly in his chair, Banri’s eyes turn properly to the screen, seeing Tsumugi’s gentle eyes seeming to focus on him from the screen. A smile crosses over his face, another one of those silly goofy ones, and he covers his mouth, despite knowing that Tsumugi can’t see him.

“Should we get started?” Tsumugi asks, and Banri makes another noise. “Well, I better...start removing my clothes, then…”  
“No rush,” Banri says quickly. “Take your time, Tsumugi-san.”  
“Of course. I was planning to.”

Something in his tone of voice makes Banri’s skin tingle. Watching Tsumugi like this, starting to slowly undo the buttons on his high-waisted shorts, and slipping them very, very slowly, down his too long legs. Banri swallows audibly, and Tsumugi chuckles -- the sound unbelievably sexy, but the sight of the cute little blush on Tsumugi’s face taking away from it.

The shorts drop off of one of Tsumugi’s legs, landing in a little pile on the floor. Tsumugi’s eyes focus on the camera ( _ at me _ , Banri thinks) and Tsumugi opens his mouth to speak.

“Want me to leave anything on?” he asks, and Banri blinks. “Feel free to tell me if there’s anything you’d like to see...this is your show, after all.”  
“My show…” Banri parrots the words, like an idiot. “...The sweater is cute. Keep it.”  
“I think you might have a thing for me looking cute.” Tsumugi teases. “The glasses, too?”  
“Mm.” Banri’s already got a hand under his sweatpants. “Lift the sweater a little. What kind of underwear are you wearing?”

Tsumugi dutifully lifts the sweater up to show him. It’s another complicated looking piece of fabric, semi-transparent and lacy, a dark red color that stands out rather strongly against Tsumugi’s skin. When Tsumugi drops his sweater again, Banri can see hints of the panties with every movement he makes, especially when he leans over his bed to reach the special box underneath.

Banri tells himself he’s becoming immune to the sight of Tsumugi in panties, but it still makes him turned on to see his ass in those panties…

“Let’s see…” Tsumugi says to himself, “I’ll take out this one, and maybe this one…Ah, this one, too.”  
“You’re choosing a whole lot of items,” Banri says, and Tsumugi glances up at the camera, a very cute deer caught in headlights expression on his face. “What do you have for me?”  
“Well…”

Tsumugi sits up again, bringing a very familiar friend, and something new that Banri’s sure he hasn’t seen before. On the bed beside Tsumugi sit the monster dildo (that Banri sometimes still has wet dreams of) and a mysterious looking, black thing. It’s shaped like a V, and Banri squints at it slightly.

“I just bought this one,” Tsumugi says, lifting up the mysterious toy. “I think I might try it out today, with you, NEO-kun. Is that alright?”

Banri’s throat feels raw.

“Yeah,” he croaks. “Go for it.”

Tsumugi laughs, and reaches over for the bottle of lube. It looks a little different today, but Banri doesn’t know enough about lube to really be able to tell. Tsumugi puts his legs up on the bed, and spreads them, revealing the panties, and his entrance, hidden by the fabric.

“Take it off,” Banri says.   
“Hm ~ ?” Tsumugi asks, sitting up a little. “The panties?”  
“Please.” 

Tsumugi winks. Banri’s heart jumps in his chest, and he’s about to open his mouth to speak again, when Tsumugi began to pull the panties off, slowly dragging them off a leg. 

It’s only then that Banri notices it. It’s been there the entire time, but Banri hasn’t caught view of it until this moment.

Stockings. Cute, schoolgirl-like stockings, with cute ribbons and cat patterns. He blinks at them, and then covers his face, a little whine leaving his mouth as he thinks about the  _ stupid  _ stockings. Tsumugi makes a noise of surprise, but Banri can’t help but  _ keep  _ whining.

“NEO-kun?” Tsumugi asks, and Banri groans again. “Should I have kept them on…?”  
“No, no,” Banri says, not wanting Tsumugi to change a single thing. “I just can’t stop thinking about how  _ cute  _ you are.”  
“That’s enough compliments for now,” Tsumugi says, but Banri can hear the surprised happiness in his voice. “It’s a little embarrassing…”  
“But it’s true,” Banri groans, and rubs his face. “Sorry, carry on, I just -- had to tell you.”  
“You’re a little strange, NEO-kun.” Though it’s technically an insult, Banri doesn’t feel any spite in his heart at all. “Um, I have a favour to ask of you.”  
“Sure.” Banri’s reply is instant, despite his face being hidden by his hands.  
“Could you download this app for me?”

Tsumugi sends the name through their chat, and Banri, without a second question, begins downloading it.

In hindsight, he should have thought about whether this was some weird advertising scheme for some pyramid company, but he was already downloading the app. Damn, if Tsumugi was a fraudster, Banri would be eating from the palm of his hand and liking it.

“What’s it for?” he asks, watching it download.   
“You’ll see,” is Tsumugi’s only response.

He puts his feet back up on the bed, and pumps some lubricant onto his fingers. He reaches down, and runs a finger around his entrance. Banri feels his breath catch in his throat as Tsumugi pushes a finger inside, a soft moan coming from his lips. Banri’s eyes are focused on the way his finger enters and exits, watching as he shifts from one to two fingers, whimpers and moans leaving Tsumugi’s lips. He chews harshly on his lower lip, and starts to stroke himself, too.

“Nnh, NEO-kun?” Tsumugi asks, tilting his head slightly so Banri can see him. “You there?”  
“Mm.” Banri replies, voice hitched. “‘M here.”  
“Hehe,” Tsumugi’s giggle pitches high as he curls his fingers inside of himself. “What do you do when you...watch my streams?”  
“What do I do…?” Banri looks down at his hand wrapped around his cock. “...Jack off…?”  
“Haha -- ah! -- you touch yourself…?” Tsumugi’s back arches, cutting a moan off with his words. “Nnh -- how? Tell me, NEO-kun…”

Banri’s completely not used to this at all. It feels, honestly, less like a stream, and more like a phone call, a personal video quickie. His hand doesn’t stop moving, though, twisting around the head slightly.

“Just…” Banri struggles for words. “It’s just jacking off, but…”   
“But?” Tsumugi prompts, his hand moving to start stroking at his own cock. It’s beautiful.  
“I think about...how tight, you must be.” Banri says, face flushing. Tsumugi moans at this. “If you...were to take my cock, how tight it must be inside you...but you can take things like that dildo…”  
“NEO-kun,” Tsumugi breathes, pushing in a third finger. “How would you fuck me…”  
“God, Tsumugi-san,” Banri says, squeezing the base of his cock before he comes. “In any way, I -- I’d take you anyway.”

Tsumugi lets out a breathy laugh, and bucks his hips up into his hand, moaning louder and louder with each movement. When his moans start to crest, he yanks both hands away, curling his fingers into the sheets. Slowly, he sits up, cock twitching with the need to come, and picks up the V shaped item.

“NEO-kun, let’s try the app that you got.” Tsumugi says, and Banri suddenly understands what the app is for.

He understands, sure, but using it is something else completely… he opens the app, though, and Tsumugi recites the code on the Thing. As Banri enters it, and switches it on, the Thing begins to vibrate in Tsumugi’s hands. His eyes sparkle a little, and Banri hates how adorable that is. It’s the epitome of cute, but it’s seriously contrasted by the light twitching of Tsumugi’s cock, on the precum staining his sweater, and the  _ vibrator _ buzzing away in his hands.

“Turn it off,” Tsumugi requests, and Banri complies. “Lemme...put it in me first, and then…”  
“W-Wait a minute,” Banri interrupts. “You’re going to let me control this?”  
“Yes,” Tsumugi says, honestly. “Do you not want to?”

_ I absolutely want to, _ Banri thinks,  _ but is that really okay?! _

“I do,” Banri says. “Let me know when...you’re ready...I guess.”

Banri’s hands are shaking a little. He feels like he’s been handed the keys to a city.

( _ It’s 3pm in the afternoon, and Banri’s just come back from school. The house is quiet (as usual) and Banri thinks that Papa and Mama probably won’t be back for a while. Sitting quietly at their dining table, his tutor greets him with a smile, and another fun question: _

__ “Banri, if someone makes you a mayor, what would you do?”  
__ “Um...I think I’d marry you first!”  
__ “Ahaha -- are you sure? Why me?”  
__ “Why not? You’re the best, sensei!”  
__ “I told you not to call me sensei, Banri.”  
_ “You teach me, though?”  
_ __ “I know, but I told you, my name is Ts -- “ )

“Banri-kun?”

When Banri’s thoughts swim back into the current situation, Tsumugi’s sitting up on the bed, the vibrator suddenly gone from his hands. His eyes are soft, looking a little worried. 

“I was just remembering something,” Banri says, and holds up his phone. “I’ll go ahead?”

Damn, he missed Tsumugi putting it in -- that would have been hot as hell…

“Please do,” Tsumugi says, shifting around a little. “It’s a little u -- ah?!”

Banri whistles at the sound that he hears from the speakers -- it’s faint, but obviously there, buzzing away. He keeps his eyes on Tsumugi, watching as his face goes red, and he melts a little, pressing his knuckles into his lips as little whimpered moans filter out through his lips. His hips move, bucking into air as Tsumugi presses back down on the toy inside him. A sly smile spreads across Banri’s face as he turns up the vibrations, watching as Tsumugi’s hand drops to the bed, clutching at the sheets as he moans louder. 

“NEO -- NEO-kun,” Tsumugi moans, fingers tightening in the sheets, “good, so -- nnh -- “  
“Yeah…?” Banri feels like his voice is much deeper than he remembers. “You gonna come?”  
“More,” Tsumugi whispers. “More, please, Banri-kun…”

Banri’s finger shifts with the shock of hearing it. That's his name -- _his _name, coming from Tsumugi's mouth. How'd he know it? On the screen, Tsumugi mewls with the sudden intensity, falling back onto the bed. His skin is incredibly pale against the dark bedsheets, and is flushed red with lust. Sweat is dripping from Tsumugi’s skin, and Banri swallows again.

“That’s…” he begins, wanting to ask Tsumugi how he knows, but Tsumugi mewls again.  
“Banri-kun, more, please -- “ he moans. “‘m gonna come, please…”

Banri is incredibly torn. His eyes flicker from the phone, to Tsumugi, writhing on the bed, and turns the vibrator  _ down _ , a small smile crossing over his face as Tsumugi eventually pulls himself up, a pout on his face. The glasses he’s wearing have gone slightly askew, licking his lips to wet them so he can speak.

“Banri-kun,” Tsumugi whines, and Banri holds himself back from indulging him. “Why’d you stop...I was so close…”  
“How’d you find out my name?” Banri asks, having to put his phone down so he’s not tempted. “I don’t remember telling you…”  
“Hnnnnh…” Tsumugi wriggles. It’s so, _so _cute. “It’s on...your Skype...please, Banri-kun…”

_ God _ , Banri thinks to himself,  _ it’s so hard to say no to him… _

“Come for me,” Banri says, and flicks the vibrator up again. 

Almost instantly, Tsumugi comes, over his sweater and his glasses, falling back onto the bed as he does so. His legs move up, shaking as he shuffles back, as if trying to escape the vibrations, which Banri has chosen not to turn down, watching as Tsumugi turns onto his front, grabbing at the blankets. Saliva is dripping down his chin as he bucks his hips into the bed, another short spurt of cum staining the sheets.

“Aah -- hnnh, nnh -- “ Tsumugi can barely speak, continuing to rut into the sheets.

He gives the camera a sultry look, mouth opening as if trying to tell Banri to stop, but words weren’t coming out. Banri’s gaze fell on the dark pink of his mouth and tongue, and quickly turned the vibrator down, focusing his efforts on his own cock, stroking it quickly as he watches Tsumugi release one last time, shaking through it.

When Tsumugi finally pulls his head up, he gives Banri what is probably supposed to be a withering look, but with his face red from his orgasms, it doesn’t come off as very threatening. Banri chuckles, instead, a soft smile on his face.

“Are you alright?” he asks, and Tsumugi slowly drags himself into a sitting position. “Tsumugi-san?”  
“Nnh.” Tsumugi huffs, shuffling to pull his legs up onto the bed. “Keep it off for a bit...give me a moment to recover…”  
“If you’re too tired, we don’t have to go on,” Banri says, voice softening. “I don’t want you to be obligated to do this for me.”  
“But I owe you quite a lot, Banri-kun,” Tsumugi’s tone is jovial, if not tired. “And...if you’re enjoying yourself, that makes me quite happy.”  
“Tsumugi-san, please stop saying stuff like that.” Banri puts a hand over his heart. “You’re going to kill me.”  
“Hehe.”

Tsumugi tilts his head a little, smiling softly at Banri, who almost definitely falls out of his chair again.

“Is it okay if we just talk?” he asks. “For...a little longer. If I recover a bit, I could take the big one…”

Banri blinks at the screen, and then rubs at his face.

“I’m okay with talking,” he says, “but if you’re tired, Tsumugi-san -- “  
“I’m alright.” Tsumugi interrupts, chuckling again. “You’re a very odd customer, Banri-kun.”

If  _ he  _ was an odd one, Banri wonders what other customers Tsumugi had…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i changed my UN so i'm now at @scarletmirror_ !!! anyway yell bntm at me <3


	5. chapter five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kazunari miyoshi: love scientist! he's trying his best...to make everyone happy.

“Thank you, come again!”

Tsumugi sighs as the bell jingles, signalling the closing of the door, and he lets himself lean against the counter a little, running a hand through his hair. His back had been hurting for a while since last night, but he’d push through it as usual!

“Tsumutsumu ~ “ 

The door jingles open again, and Tsumugi looks over at his new patron, a certain Miyoshi Kazunari, who comes in like the summer sun. It’s always a relief when he came in, because the stories he tells are always interesting, especially on a boring day.

“Kazu-kun, hello.” Tsumugi says, waving at him. “You’re especially lively today.”  
“I got so much  _ done  _ today, it feels hella good!” Kazunari approaches the counter, and gives Tsumugi a bright smile. “How was last night with your mystery guy?”  
“Good, I think. I found out his name on his Skype.” Tsumugi flushes at the memory of it.

This does not escape Kazunari’s keen eye.

“Oooooh, Tsumutsumu, who is it, who is it?” Kazunari’s voice lilts, excited. “Tell me, tell me.”  
“I don’t know if I should,” Tsumugi teases, and Kazunari whines, tapping the counter slightly. “You really want to know?”  
“Of course ~ ! And if I happen to know them I’ll def hook you up!” Kazunari bounces a little. “So who is it?”  
“His name is Settsu Banri.”

At this, Tsumugi’s own keen eyes activate.

Kazunari’s shoulders drop, and his posture alters ever so slightly, from the loose position he was in a moment ago into something slightly more stiff, tongue briefly running over suddenly dry lips. It lasts for a second, and Tsumugi barely catches it himself, before Kazunari returns back to normal.

“Settsu Banri, huh ~ “ Kazunari says, thinking. “Hmmn…”  
“If you know him, tell him I said hi.” Tsumugi says, a little laugh in his voice. “I’m sure he’ll be surprised.”  
“Sure will ~ “

Kazunari leans against the counter, looking out the windows, at the sunlight filtering in. Tsumugi watches him for a few moments, eyes a little soft, and then touches his shoulder, patting it gently. Kazunari doesn’t react, at first, before he shoots Tsumugi a bright smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes.

How can Tsumugi tell Kazunari that he looks quite lonely…?

“Hey, Tsumutsumu.”  
“Mmhm?”  
“I wonder if I should become a camboy…”

Tsumugi whacks his shoulder, and Kazunari laughs, the sound carrying through the little florist shop, shuffling over to the side so Tsumugi can’t hit him again. The loneliness Tsumugi saw in Kazunari’s eyes seems to have vanished, at least for now, replaced with the bright sparkle of youth, and Kazunari tucks his hands in his pockets.

“Well, um ~ “ Kazunari pulls away, the smile on his face growing. “I think I’ll have a great surprise for you, Tsumutsumu!”  
“Oh, for me?” Tsumugi says, leaning forward onto the counter. “I’m looking forward to it, Kazu-kun.”  
“You better be!”

Kazunari moves to the door, and leans backwards to say his goodbyes.

“See you later, sensei!”

* * *

**TsumTsuki: ** Banri-kun.

Banri blinks awake, hearing the quiet buzzing of his phone as a message comes in. He rubs his eyes, picking his phone up to squint at the time. It’s mid-afternoon, which probably means Banri has accidentally slept through a class or two, which he supposes isn’t that big of a deal. He yawns, rubbing his eyes and opening his notifications.

**NEO: ** ssgodmrongi  
**NEO: ** shit  
**NEO: ** good mrongin  
**NEO: ** good morningn  
**TsumTsuki: ** Are you alright there?  
**NEO: ** just woke up  
**TsumTsuki: ** It’s midday already. Don’t you have classes?   
**NEO: ** sokay  
**NEO: ** whats up?  
**TsumTsuki: ** You should be at class…  
**NEO: ** its cool its cool dont worry  
**NEO: ** sorry i overslept  
**TsumTsuki: ** Well, if it’s just this once.

Was Tsumugi some kind of spiritual teacher or something? The thought of it is kind of funny, and then Banri’s thoughts wander to somewhere they probably  _ shouldn’t _ be wandering, and he shakes his head to snap out of it before he gets too far into his mind.

**TsumTsuki: ** That aside, do you happen to know someone called Kazunari?  
**NEO: ** kazunari?

He does. But how does  _ Tsumugi  _ know Kazunari?

**NEO: ** yeah i know him  
**NEO: ** why?  
**TsumTsuki: ** Ah, I see.   
**TsumTsuki: ** I feel like I’ve ruined the surprise, somehow…  
**NEO: ** ???????  
**TsumTsuki: ** It’s nothing.  
**TsumTsuki: ** What did you think of last night?

Banri  _ groans _ . He’d just pushed down the first boner, and now Tsumugi was reminding him of last night? Seriously he was going to die from lack of blood circulation at this point.

**NEO: ** cmon tsumugi-san i just got rid of one boner  
**NEO: ** imean  
**TsumTsuki: ** That good, huh?

Perhaps Banri will suffocate himself with his pillow. But it was that good, honestly -- Banri could still see Tsumugi speared on the dildo, running the V of the vibrator up and down his cock… He swallowed a moan, pushing a hand down his sweatpants again.

**NEO: ** yea  
**NEO: ** i mean im still thinking about it  
**TsumTsuki: ** Right now?  
**NEO: ** tsumugi-san i was wrong abt your angelic facade  
**TsumTsuki: ** :(

“Shit,” Banri says, head tipping back as he strokes at himself, holding the phone to his chest just in case of an eruption. “Hnn, ah -- “

**TsumTsuki: ** Banri-kun, could you be…  
**TsumTsuki: ** I shouldn’t bother you, then.

Typing with one hand is hard (haha) but Banri makes do in these kinds of situations.

**NEO: **nah stay im almost done  
**TsumTsuki: **I do have work to do, you know.  
**NEO: **whatdyou do outside of. camboying  
**NEO: **is that the right term  
**TsumTsuki: **Horny streaming?  
**NEO: **wwwwwwwwwww  
**TsumTsuki: **I'm glad I could amuse you.  
**NEO: **wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww  
**TsumTsuki: **I run a florist’s.  
**NEO: **eeeehh  
**NEO: **you msut really like flowers  
**NEO: **must* sorry  
**TsumTsuki: **If I’m bothering you…  
**NEO: **not at all go on  
**TsumTsuki: **If you’re sure.  
**TsumTsuki: **I do like flowers. They’re pretty to look at, and need a lot of love and care to raise.   
**TsumTsuki: **Perhaps I just like taking care of things?  
**NEO: **tsumugi-san would be a good parent www  
**TsumTsuki: **Haha, do you think so?   
**TsumTsuki: **Children are nice. Maybe one day…  
**TsumTsuki: **Ah, but that’s not something you want to hear about, probably. Sorry, I got a little carried away.  
**NEO: **nah   
**NEO: **id like to know all kinds of things abt you tsumugi-san  
**TsumTsuki: **Silly.  
**TsumTsuki: **Banri-kun, you’re really an odd one.

Banri never knows if that’s supposed to be a compliment or not, but for the time being, he’ll certainly take it as one. He rubs a hand over the back of his neck, and then rubs at his eyes, sitting up properly. He’d get a little bit of work done, probably…

**TsumTsuki: ** Do you want to chat?  
**TsumTsuki: ** Just...over the phone. 

Screw work.

**NEO: ** sure absolutely

* * *

“Hahaha -- “  
“No, I’m not joking with you, he really said that.”  
“There’s no way.”

Tsumugi leans back on the bed, a soft chuckle following his words. On the other side of the phone, Banri laughs, a warm sound that settles its way through his mind, and curls around his heart like a well-fed cat. If it felt like that, Tsumugi could only wonder what it would feel like if they met in real life. His heart speeds up, out of his control, at the thought of it.

“He’s like that, though, Tsumugi-san,” Banri says. “Really, if you go drinking with that guy, he’s piss-drunk in seconds.”  
“He must have a low tolerance,” Tsumugi replies, shaking his head. “If you do go drinking again with him, make sure he gets home safe.”  
“Yes sir,” Banri reports. Tsumugi laughs again, eyes softening at the corners. “I’m trying to be serious here.”  
“Haha, I can’t help it.”

Tsumugi curls up in bed a little more. After he’d sent Banri that last message, he’d gotten home as fast as possible, curling up in bed to just get as comfortable as physically possible. There was something about talking to Banri that made Tsumugi feel...rather safe. At home, almost, without being at home. It was both a wonderful and scary feeling at the same time, and Tsumugi wasn’t sure what he felt more.

Banri’s warm laughter filters through the phone’s speakers -- for a moment, Tsumugi feels jealous of the electricity filtering through his phone, that they could hear Banri laugh in such close proximity -- and Banri begins to hum, followed by the sound of shuffling.

“What are you up to, Banri-kun?” Tsumugi asks, sinking into the bed a little more.  
“Mm, trying to do my project.” Banri replies. “You reminded me about it.”  
“Oh, good for me,” Tsumugi jokes, rewarded by Banri’s laughter again. “What project is it?”  
“My arts assignment.” The sound of clinking. “Ah, the charcoal. Uh, I’m gonna have to put you on speaker.”  
“Take your time,” Tsumugi replies, settling a little more. “I’m a little sleepy, though.”  
“Mmn.” Banri sounds like he hasn’t heard him, which Tsumugi doesn’t mind, actually. “‘Kay, all set up.”

Tsumugi stifles a yawn, and pulls the covers slightly over himself, listening to the sounds of charcoal (assumably) over canvas. It goes on for five minutes or so, soothing Tsumugi significantly. He stretches out a little, a little smile spreading across his face.

“What are you drawing?” he asks, and Banri lets out a very uncool  _ yelp _ . “Ahahaha -- did I scare you?”  
“I forgot for a second you were there,” Banri replies, voice surprisingly meek. “Uh, it’s a charcoal painting of, um…”

A rather long silence followed his words.

“I’m not really sure what it is.” Banri admits. “It started off as something dark, but now…”  
“But now?” Tsumugi prompts.  
“But now, I think I want to go with something lighter.” 

Tsumugi may not be able to see Banri, but he can hear the smile in his voice just the same. The warmth of it all curls around him, warmer than the blankets wrapped over his shoulders. He yawns, softly, and the sounds of charcoal on paper start up again.

Banri’s not sure how long he works on the piece, before realising he should say something.

“Tsumugi-san?” he asks, only to hear silence. “Did he -- “

A soft snore comes through the speakers of his phone, and Banri  _ instantly  _ sinks to the floor in the pristine picture of a man grievously in love.

“God, fucking damn it,” he groans, covering his face.

* * *

**Kaz-PIKO: ** nenenene  
**Kaz-PIKO: ** tsuzurun! ♪.*⁽⁽ ◝꒰´꒳`∗꒱◟ ₎₎₊·*

Kazunari taps his phone against his forehead, lying on his back. He put the phone down on his chest, and then stared up at his ceiling. He’s sure that if he’s not careful, the ceiling will start to grow leaks, and then maybe mushrooms… His bed creaks as he rolls onto his front, pulling his phone out to check his messages. It’d take a while for Tsuzuru to reply, so Kazunari was drowning in his thoughts on his own for a bit.

What he’d told Tsumugi this afternoon was still weighing on his shoulders.

“ _ I wonder if I should become a camboy… _ ”

Kazunari wasn’t so sure what it was that made him say something like that. Why would he want to become a camboy? He had a decent income from his jobs, and his parents sent him money sometimes, and he’d die if Futaba ever managed to see him doing those kinds of things (hopefully she wouldn’t be on BloomHub, though?). He runs a hand through his hair.

No, Kazunari knows the answer. He just didn’t want to admit it to himself. 

He rubs a hand over his face, and sighs, loudly, before turning on LIME to send that person another text.

**Kaz-PIKO: ** yo yo yo tsuzurun!!!

It takes him ten minutes to reply. 

**tsuzu.writer: ** What is it, Miyoshi-san?  
**Kaz-PIKO: ** hey hey hey sorry 2 bother u!!  
**tsuzu.writer: ** It’s not like it’s 3am or anything…  
**tsuzu.writer: ** What did you want to talk about, though?

Kazunari rolls his eyes at Tsuzuru’s words, but his eyes soften a little, quickly typing out his next message.

**Kaz-PIKO: ** aaaahahhhhh i forgot abt the time differeeeeence (´⊙o⊙`；)  
**Kaz-PIKO: ** nvm tsuzurun!! hmu when its not 3am and get some rest  
**tsuzu.writer: ** I’m up anyway...what’s wrong?  
**Kaz-PIKO: ** nothing!!! go rest tsuzurun!!

If he were being honest, Kazunari doesn’t know whether he actually wants Tsuzuru to go to bed or not. The thought flits through his brain quickly, and then vanishes into the void, kicked out dutifully by Kazunari’s care for his friends. If it’s early on Tsuzuru’s side, he definitely has to be sleeping. He already works hard enough as it is, and probably doesn't have enough time for Kazunari's ridiculous problems.

**tsuzu.writer: ** Kazunari.

Kazunari blinks at the message, and then groans, burying his face in the pillows, kicking at the sheets slightly. It’s unfair when Tsuzuru can say things like that.

**tsuzu.writer: ** Tell me what’s wrong.  
**Kaz-PIKO: ** omg tsuzurun i feel like im going to get lectured?????? ( ॣ•͈૦•͈ ॣ)  
**tsuzu.writer: ** I might, so hurry up.  
**Kaz-PIKO: ** wwwww dont scold me   
**Kaz-PIKO: ** its rly nothing tho  
**tsuzu.writer: ** What is it.  
**Kaz-PIKO: ** wellllllllllll  
**Kaz-PIKO: ** i need ur advice on smth ☆  
**tsuzu.writer: ** Uh huh.  
**Kaz-PIKO: ** (｀・ω・´)  
**tsuzu.writer: ** Is this about love problems.  
**Kaz-PIKO: ** Σ(゜ロ゜;)  
**tsuzu.writer: ** Somehow I thought it’d be like this…  
**tsuzu.writer: ** Is Banri being weird?  
**Kaz-PIKO: ** (๑ ˊ͈ ᐞ ˋ͈ )ƅ̋  
**Kaz-PIKO: ** its not really banri though  
**Kaz-PIKO: ** its more just me being stupid wwww  
**Kaz-PIKO: ** so u know tsumutsumu right  
**tsuzu.writer: ** I want to tell you that you’re not being stupid, but I have no idea what you’ve done.  
**tsuzu.writer: ** Is it easier for you to talk?  
**Kaz-PIKO: ** noooooooooooooooooooooooooo  
**Kaz-PIKO: ** youll have 2 get ur computer and stuff out i can type it out  
**tsuzu.writer: ** It’s already out.  
**Kaz-PIKO: ** ━Σ(ﾟДﾟ|||)━

Distantly, Skype activates on Kazunari’s computer. Kazunari **_YEETS_** gets out of bed as soon as he hears it, nearly tripping on his sheets, and crashing into his shitty chair, which nearly tips over in his rush to answer. He can’t keep Tsuzuru waiting, especially considering what time it is on his side.

“Tsuzurun ~ hey hey ~ “ Kazunari says as soon as the call picks up.

The video clicks on for Tsuzuru, who’s currently in bed, rubbing his eyes before looking over at the camera. He adjusts the laptop screen, and then waves, pulling his headphones over his ears. Kazunari remembers them fondly -- they’re  _ ridiculous  _ headphones, with glowing cat ears on the band. Kazunari had stuffed them into Tsuzuru’s hands before he’d left for London, and Tsuzuru had clearly said to him at the airport that he would ‘never wear them ever’. And yet…

“You’re wearing the -- “ Kazunari begins.  
“Yes, I’m wearing the headphones. Don’t get distracted.” Tsuzuru replies, and then yawns. “Tell me what the issue is.”  
“You really shouldn’t be up, though…” Before he can help it, guilt creeps into his voice. “I’m sorry for waking you, Tsuzurun…”  
“Look,” Tsuzuru stops to rub at his eyes at this point, “it’s fine, so.”  
“Hn.” Kazunari presses his fingers together. “Like I said, it’s not Banri, or Tsumutsumu.”  
“Then what is it?”

Kazunari doesn’t know how to start talking about the situation. He rubs his arm slightly, and Tsuzuru sighs a little, patting the laptop screen. It’s a very weird movement that makes Kazunari snort, and if he misses Tsuzuru’s little smile, no harm no foul.

“Take your time.” Tsuzuru says.   
“So, you know how Tsumutsumu does his cam boy things right,” Kazunari begins to say, “so I told Settsuar that he should go watch BloomHub, and then he started watching Tsumutsumu, and then they’re in love now, I think, and then I told Tsumutsumu I wanted to be a camboy earlier today, which is stupid, because I already have everything I need, but I could do with a bit of money and I think it would be nice to be  _ seen _ , don’t y -- “  
“Kazunari.” Tsuzuru’s voice kicks Kazunari out of his ramble. “Slow down.”  
“Whoo.” Kazunari says, in response. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to say that again.”  
“Then I’d better work with what I’ve got,” Tsuzuru says, rubbing his palms over his eyes. “Let me grab a coffee.”  
“No, don’t,” Kazunari whines, “you should be sleeping and not listening to me.”  
“Too late. Hold on.”

Tsuzuru puts his laptop down, and moves out of the frame. Distantly, Kazunari can hear a fridge open, and he puts his head down on the table, leg bouncing under the table. A soft sigh rolls out of his lips. It’s really shameful of him -- to try to call Tsuzuru at shit o’clock in the morning, when he should be sleeping for university tomorrow, because Tsuzuru is an  _ excellent  _ student, and he has his family’s expectations on his shoulders, and Kazunari sometimes thinks that his parents have given up on him, and --

“I’m back.”   
“Welcome home ~ “ Kazunari echoes, glancing up at the screen. “Woaaaah, isn’t that _too _much coffee?”

Tsuzuru’s holding a can of cold coffee in one hand, and a can of Red Bull in the other. He sets the Red Bull down on the nearby table, and cracks open the can of coffee, taking a long sip of the drink.

“I feel like I’ll have to coax you,” Tsuzuru says, and smiles in that tired way of his. “I might be here for a while.”  
“I’ll try to make it quick,” Kazunari replies, knowing that this issue is anything but.  
“Okay, let’s see if I remembered what you said.” Tsuzuru licks his dry lips. “You told Banri to look up BloomHub, and he ended up finding Tsumugi-sensei’s account.”  
“He wants us to call him Tsumugi-san now.”  
“Tsumugi-san’s account.” Tsuzuru corrects. “And he started watching him.”  
“Uh huh.” Kazunari presses his fingers together. “And they’ve been talking, too.”  
“You’re saying Tsumugi-san and Banri are -- “  
“No!” Kazunari refutes, and then realises the error of his ways. “I mean, I don’t know. I don’t think Tsumutsumu knows who Settsuar is. Banri knows who Tsumutsumu is, though.”  
“Right.” Tsuzuru rubs the bridge of his nose. “After that, uh, you said that they’re in love.”  
“I don’t know about that, either,” Kazunari says helplessly. “He was sketching him all day during the other day’s lecture…”  
“Mmhm.” Tsuzuru rubs the bridge of his nose again. “Then…”  
“No, don’t say the next one.” Kazunari looks down at the keyboard, studying the crumbs of the sandwich he’d last eaten under the keys. “Don’t say it.”

Tsuzuru whistles gently, and Kazunari’s about to make a wisecrack comment about not being a dog, looking up at the camera, and he sees Tsuzuru’s face, in the blue light from his computer. It’s hard to describe, honestly, Tsuzuru’s face. It’s a mix of what Kazunari believes is pity, but can’t be, judging by the softness of his eyes. He swallows -- it’s an expression that seems to search through his entire self.

“Kazu.” Tsuzuru says, and somehow that’s even worse than him saying ‘Kazunari’. “I see you, you know.”

He’s not sure where they come from, but suddenly, wet tracks trickle down his cheeks. It’s certainly not waterworks, but they’re tears nonetheless. In a quick movement (that isn’t so quick, now that Kazunari thinks about it, but he tries) he slaps his hands over his face, trying to hide from Tsuzuru’s eyes.

“If you say things like that,” Kazunari says, between his palms, “I think I’ll fall in love with you, Tsuzurun.”  
“Hurry up, then.” Tsuzuru snorts, downing the rest of his coffee. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hewwo...find me at @scarletmirror_ on twitter!! i love ddau and would love to talk about it...


	6. chapter six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the two finally meet in person...?!

“Is this where my surprise is going to be, Kazu-kun?”  
“Yes, yes.”

Autumn has started to come into Japan. Tsumugi looks up at the sky, looking at the clouds that are starting to gather. Kazunari is standing in front of him, looking significantly lighter than the last time he’d seen him that last week ago. It fills Tsumugi with a little bit of joy, seeing Kazunari looking so light today. Kazunari seems to notice him staring, and his smile only increases over his face. Tsumugi can't help but smile back.

"What's on your mind, Tsumutsumu?" Kazunari asks, and Tsumugi laughs a little. "What is it?"  
"You look so happy today, Kazu-kun." Tsumugi says. "What's going on?"  
"Well..." Kazunari seems to be glowing. "You remember Tsuzurun, right?"  
"Tsuzuru...?" Tsumugi thinks, and then lights up. "Ah! The boy you would stare at when I tutored that group back then!"  
"Tsumutsumu," Kazunari says, face lighting up. "OMG, was I that obvious."  
"I'm surprised Tsuzuru didn't notice," Tsumugi says. "I'm glad you and him seem to have worked things out."

Kazunari hums softly to himself, tucking his hands into his pockets. He leans against a railing, and Tsumugi follows him, feeling as if Kazunari still has more to say. His thoughts are soon answered as Kazunari opens his mouth again, beginning to speak.

"Well, yeah." Kazunari says. "Turns out my feelings weren't exactly unrequited."  
"I'm happy for you," Tsumugi says, eyes softening. "If only love was that easy."  
"Trust me," Kazunari winks, "it might just be."

Kazunari's cryptic words aside, he stands suddenly, turning to him.

“Enough rambling from me, though! Tsumutsumu, just wait here!” Kazunari says, giving him a bright smile. "I'll go get your surprise!"  
“Take your time,” Tsumugi says, responding to his smile with one of his own. 

Kazunari salutes, and takes off in a different direction, calling out. 

The park that Kazunari has taken him to is a park that Tsumugi is quite familiar with --  he had used to come here a lot previously, and still often walked along the paths to get some fresh air. There was (and likely still is) a wonderful cafe down at the other end of the park, filled with the smell of wonderful pastries and delicious coffee.

“Where are you taking me,” a voice sounds, and Tsumugi’s head whips around.

Kazunari’s dragging another guy with him -- a little younger than Kazunari, clearly, with short brown hair that’s tied up into a messy sort of bun, a ridiculous looking red jacket that’s clearly more for usage than for fashion over a graphic tee that has the word ‘NIHILISM’ written in the middle and a hole near the collar (an anecdote that makes Tsumugi giggle), tight jeans, and dark blue sneakers. The blue is a familiar color -- Tsumugi hides the smirk that arrives on his face. Kazunari’s covering his eyes, and when he guides the blinded man in front of him, he grins at Tsumugi.

“Okay ~ take a look!”

Kazunari pulls his hands away, and Banri (it’s  _ Banri _ , Tsumugi tells himself,  _ right here in front of me _ ,) blinks at the light, before suddenly meeting his eyes.

In a knee jerk reaction, Banri legs it.

Kazunari yells as Banri starts to run away, shooting Tsumugi an apologetic look, and moves to chase after him. As he runs, Tsumugi keeps his eyes as to where he’d just seen Banri, for real, in real life,  _ right there _ in front of him. He covers his face, hiding the red blush that had risen on his face.

Actually, Tsumugi finds it rather scary how he reacts. Tsumugi shouldn’t be thinking like this -- if he’s not careful, he’ll fall too deep, and if he does...who knows what would happen…

“Let me _ go _ , Kazunari!” Tsumugi hears in the distance.  
“No no, Settsuar, you’ve sketched Tsumutsumu enough to know what he looks like ~ “  
“Aaaaaah, shut up!”

Banri’s promptly deposited in front of Tsumugi, who moves his hands quickly to act like he’s hiding a laugh -- which he is, truthfully, finding it just a little bit funny how he and Kazunari act together.

“Do you really sketch me?” Tsumugi asks, and Banri’s face  _ flares  _ up. “Sorry, I shouldn’t be introducing myself in this way.”

He bows, and then chuckles a little to himself before holding his hand out to Banri, who looks like he’s been shocked. It’s a very cute expression that Tsumugi does his best to ignore, like the fluttering of his heart in the cage of his chest. 

“Tsukioka Tsumugi,” he says, smiling. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, NEO-kun.”

It takes Banri what Tsumugi is sure is two whole minutes to process the situation, before finally taking his hand, shaking it. The contact sends fireworks through Tsumugi’s nerves, and he swallows down the butterflies trying to escape. He’s here -- he’s real, and Tsumugi is touching him. (In hindsight, he’ll think this sounds a little dirtier than it is, but Tsumugi’s long lost his angel status in people’s eyes…) 

Banri’s hand is warm. He focuses on that.

“Settsu Banri.” Tsumugi already knows his name, but he doesn’t mind hearing it again. “It’s nice to meet you, Tsumugi-san.”  
“Well then ~ “ Kazunari says, making Banri jump and let go of Tsumugi’s hand like he’s been electrocuted, “I have to go to class, so I’ll leave you two, okay ~ Have fun ~ “

Like a bullet through the night, Kazunari is gone, leaving the two of them standing there, staring at each other. Tsumugi wants to look away, but he can’t, really, wanting to keep looking at him, to memorise his face for the next time they’re apart. It’s like champagne bubbles rising up his throat, warming his throat and lungs, while his heart sinks slowly to the bottom like an abandoned cherry pit.

“Um,” Banri begins. “Want to go somewhere?”  
“Oh, me?” Tsumugi says, stupidly.   
“Who else am I talking to,” The joke sounds mean, but the fondness in Banri’s voice catches Tsumugi off guard. “I know a good cafe.”  
“Oh.” Tsumugi chews on his lower lip. “Okay. That would be nice, Banri-kun.”

* * *

“This is your favourite cafe?”

Banri’s sitting at the table, across from Tsumugi, who currently has a cup of coffee lifted to his lips. He takes a long sip, and Banri finds himself watching the bobbing of Tsumugi’s throat as he swallows, and his eyes flicker back to his face once he puts the coffee cup down. 

Tsumugi’s face is… Banri has no idea how to even start explaining how Tsumugi looks. He swallows down a nervous breath, watching him lift his tissue to his lips to wipe, and then meet his eyes. His eyes are so blue -- Banri’s sure that he’s drowning in the blue of his eyes, and he doesn’t want to be pulled out of it. He wants to reach over and cup his face, touch his skin, press their lips together like --

“Banri-kun?” Tsumugi says. His cheeks start to heat up. “You’re staring…”  
“Eh,” Banri says, and realises he has. “I, um. I didn’t...recognise you with clothes on.”

There are two beats of silence, before Banri gets up out of his chair, and turns to run away again. Thankfully, Tsumugi reaches out, taking his hand in his, and Banri’s stock-still, turning blankly around to face him. It’s only been less than an hour, and already Banri wanted to run away twice. He was doing a  _ terrible  _ job of seeming cool around Tsumugi, and Banri was sure that Tsumugi found this just as awkward as he did.

Tsumugi really looked cool, though...he looked so relaxed...but...

Tsumugi's hands were shaking...?

“Tsumugi-san?” Banri puts his hand over Tsumugi’s, and Tsumugi gives him a soft smile that almost makes his mind go blank. “Are you okay?”  
“Mm,” Tsumugi says, looking down at his coffee. He’s holding on to Banri’s hand, still. “I’m okay. Sorry, I’m...a little nervous.”  
“Why are _you _nervous,” Banri says, taking his hand properly in his. “I just said something really stupid.”  
“It was cute,” Tsumugi murmurs, and Banri chokes on air. “B-Banri-kun?!”

Banri could die in peace. This was all he wanted in this world, honestly. He squeezes Tsumugi’s hand again, and then snorts, followed by a chuckle, and then a full-bodied laugh, lifting Tsumugi’s hand inadvertently. He places his head against the other’s knuckles, still chuckling to himself, when he hears it -- Tsumugi laughs, a little tinkling of bells that kicks up a wind in Banri’s stomach, throwing him off centre in seconds. Forgive his poetic licence, but it sounded like angels were singing to him.

“Ahaha, Banri-kun,” Tsumugi chuckles, squeezing his hand, “you really are a weird one.”  
“You say that a lot.” Banri notes, lowering his hands slowly. 

His eyes flicker to Tsumugi’s knuckles, clean and pale, and he licks his lips, before just lowering their hands to the table. He had self-control. He could do this.

“Am I weird to you?” Banri asks, and Tsumugi leans his cheek on the palm of his free hand.   
“No, I just don’t understand you sometimes.” Tsumugi replies. “...I’d like to.”

Aaaaaah, what the fuck was self-control. Banri lifts Tsumugi’s hand to his lips, kissing his knuckles, and the small action sends butterflies into his stomach, and he feels Tsumugi jerk, pulling his hand away. As Banri looks up, apology already on his tongue, he sees Tsumugi’s bright red cheeks, and his throat goes dry for a few moments.

“I’m s -- “ he begins anyway, only for Tsumugi to wave a hand at him quickly.   
“It’s okay, I just -- wasn’t ready,” Tsumugi says, voice high. “Um, Banri-kun -- “

The sound of porcelain on the table echoes around them, and the waiter puts down the cake they’d ordered (and that the both of them had promptly forgotten about in their earlier panic) without another word. Tsumugi blinks down at the strawberry shortcake, the colour of the cake a light cream, with the vanilla cream almost oozing out. It looked delicious. 

Banri snorts again, and Tsumugi glances up just in time to catch him start to laugh. He sparkles, almost, in the sunlight streaming in from their window, throwing his head back to reveal a clean jawline and an unmarred throat, laughter bubbling up from his stomach. The champagne feeling is back in Tsumugi’s lungs, even stronger than before. 

He can’t stop himself from laughing, though, feeling the chuckle go through him easily as Banri laughs. He’s happy to keep it soft -- he’d rather hear the low timbre of Banri’s laughter, a genuine sound that Tsumugi wants to treasure away. It’s so, so warm that Tsumugi doesn’t know how to react.

He pulls his scarf over his nose, trying to hide the little smile on his face -- and wondering why he does it, seconds later.

“Don’t hide,” Banri says. “I like to look at you.”

Tsumugi’s not sure how he looks when he says that, but Banri almost instantly gets up to leave again, and Tsumugi has to reach out to stop him from running away again.

* * *

“Tsumugi-san, you’re really too lenient on me,”

Banri sounds depressed, and honestly, he  _ feels _ slightly depressed, looking over at Tsumugi, who’s still watching him with those soft eyes of his. His heart stutters around inside him, and Banri presses a hand to his chest, head tipping back with a sigh.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Tsumugi asks. “You’re my customer.”  
“Is that all I am to you?” Banri glances over.  
“And, um…” Tsumugi presses his fingers, hiding his face into his scarf. “My friend…”

It’s absolutely unfair how that makes Banri want to cheer to the gods. That, or grab Tsumugi in his arms and hug him tightly, pulling him into his warmth. He wants to give Tsumugi everything, and it’s so ridiculous, he knows, but…

“Banri-kun,” Tsumugi says, and Banri realises he hasn’t responded.  
“You’re my friend, too,” Banri replies, and it’s a half-truth no matter how you cut it.

Tsumugi was Banri’s friend, definitely, but Banri selfishly wanted more. He wanted to selfishly believe that Tsumugi thought the same way as he did.

His response makes Tsumugi visibly relax, hands tucked in the pockets of his duffle coat. Unlike Banri, Tsumugi was dressed rather well today -- from his dark blue duffle coat, to the cream knit scarf around his neck, to the grey button-down, his blue jeans, and the black boots that went up half (_half!!!_) his shins. It’s an  _ incredibly  _ adorable outfit, and somehow fits Tsumugi almost perfectly. If you’d ask Banri what Tsumugi would wear, he’d probably respond with something like this.

“You’re staring again,” Tsumugi whispers, voice barely audible.  
“Is it weird?” Banri asks, tearing his eyes away from him. He just wants to look at him all day.

Tsumugi pulls his scarf up again, the tips of his ears going pink as he says something Banri can’t hear -- and God, does he want to. He scoots over, close enough to feel the warmth coming from the other's body -- and bumps gently into his side.

“Is it?” he asks, and Tsumugi shakes his head, the blush only growing. “Is it okay…?”  
“You look at me all the time anyway,” Tsumugi says helplessly, looking away. “So...I don’t mind…”

Banri is definitely going to keel over and die one of these days. He loops his arm around Tsumugi’s, making sure to keep an eye on him as he did so -- when he didn’t react negatively -- at most a soft blush rose even further over his cheeks -- he smiled a little bit more, feeling soft inside at the adorable reaction.

“You, really…” Tsumugi says, mostly to himself, and Banri happily holds his arm. “You’re...really okay with this?”   
“Why wouldn’t I be?” Banri asks, tilting his head.   
“I mean, that...because I’m…” Tsumugi’s voice trails off slightly, and then he shakes his head. “No, it’s nothing. Where are we going, Banri-kun?”

Banri holds onto Tsumugi a little tighter, unable to stop himself from doing so. Tsumugi looks up at him (he looks up, oh my God, Banri is going to cry on the inside) and gives him a soft smile, as if he knows exactly what Banri’s thinking. 

“Don’t worry, Banri-kun.” Tsumugi says softly. “I’m alright.”

Banri has the feeling that he isn’t, but his mouth is betraying him right now -- he can’t ask him whether he’s sure, or to question him. He swallows, resisting the urge to pull Tsumugi into his arms. He barely manages to resist, walking with Tsumugi around the park. A sweet, fresh smell soon fills their surroundings, and Tsumugi’s eyes light up, like a child in a candy store. It takes Banri a moment to figure out where the scent is coming from, and he tilts a head at Tsumugi, who flushes at being found out.

“Let’s buy some taiyaki,” Banri says, swallowing his earlier hesitation down. “I’ll treat you.”  
“Oh, you don’t have to,” Tsumugi replies, as if nothing has changed. “You already treated me to the coffee, and cake.”  
“It’s okay,” Banri replies, squeezing him a little. “I want to treat you. And watch you a little longer.”

_Now_ his mouth decides to betray him?! Banri was definitely cursed in his past life. He lifts his free hand to cover his mouth, leading over the softly chuckling Tsumugi to the taiyaki stand. Maybe getting embarrassed was worth hearing Tsumugi’s small giggles? Banri didn’t know, but as long as Tsumugi smiles, he’s sure that he can get through anything, even if it means completely abandoning his pride.

“One taiyaki, thanks,” Banri says when it’s their turn to order, and Tsumugi glances over at him. “I’m not that hungry, so you go ahead, Tsumugi-san.”  
“Banri-kun,” Tsumugi says, voice softer. “You really didn’t have to.”  
“Like I said, it’s okay. I have enough money. You should know that.” 

Tsumugi pulls himself a little closer, pressing more into Banri’s arm. Banri has eight gay panic sessions at once in the span of one minute, feeling Tsumugi press his face into his shoulder. He’s definitely like a statue now, if he wasn’t one just a few moments ago. When he turns his head, he can feel Tsumugi’s hair on his cheek -- no, this is bad, seriously bad, he won’t want to let go.

“Here you go,” the lady at the stall says, handing a small brown bag over. "Ah, young love! You two make a wonderful couple."

Banri takes the bag with his free hand, a flush bright on his face, and leads Tsumugi over to one of the park benches.

He hands it to Tsumugi, who takes the bag in his hands, eyes sparkling a little, in that adorable way of his. Even when on stream, when someone said something particularly funny, or when someone suggested a toy he wanted to play with...Banri knew Tsumugi’s tells from watching him, which wasn’t creepy  _ at all _ …

“Mmm,” Tsumugi’s mouth is full as he savours the taste. “It’s delicious…”  
“I’m glad you like it,” Banri says, watching him with soft eyes. “It looks yummy.”   
“Would you like a bite, Banri-kun?”

Tsumugi’s holding the brown back up to him, the half-bitten taiyaki sticking out of the bag. Banri leans down, holding his hair back from his face as he takes a bite of the taiyaki, letting it drop as he chews on the piece of taiyaki in his mouth. He misses Tsumugi’s expression as he swallows down the taiyaki, licking his lips.

“It is good,” he agrees. “Good choice, Tsumugi-san.”  
“What do you mean, 'choice',” Tsumugi replies, smiling at him again. “Thank you for everything you’ve done for me, Banri-kun.”  
“Eh? Where’d that come from?”

Tsumugi adjusts his hold on the brown paper bag, and then looks down at his lap, hands pressed together as he speaks.

“You’ve given...a lot of your time, and your money, to watch me...do stuff on camera.” he says. “I really appreciate it…”  
“We’re friends, aren’t we?” Banri says. “It’s nothing, Tsumugi-san.”  
“We weren’t friends when you first started watching.” Tsumugi chuckles, though, at the idea of it. “You really are odd.”  
“Hey, I’m still not sure if that’s a compliment, or not.” Banri jokes. “If anything, Tsumugi-san, I should be thanking you. You…”

Banri decides he has to phrase his words carefully, or he won’t be able to live it down the next day. He hums, thinking, and the crinkle of the brown paper bag sounds again, as Tsumugi presumably eats more of the taiyaki.

“You gave me inspiration,” Banri says, and hears Tsumugi choke. “T-Tsumugi-san -- “  
“I’m okay,” Tsumugi replies, within coughs. “Go on -- “  
“Right, um.” Banri will die in a hole now. “Um, I -- well -- you really gave purpose to my life, and uh -- it’s fun to watch you fuck yourself on a d -- “  
“Banri-kun!” Tsumugi’s eyes are crinkled at the corners, despite his tone of voice. “There are children in this park.”  
“Okay, okay, uh -- “ Banri racks his mind for a better way of phrasing it. “It’s fun to watch you...do things to yourself on camera. I guess.”

Tsumugi keeps up his ‘angry’ look for a few moments more, before it all softens, the little smile that Banri was looking for appearing on his face again. He’d honestly kill for that smile.

Suddenly, Banri feels a gentle pressure at the corner of his lips, and turns to see Tsumugi pulling away from him, a hand over his mouth. Stupidly, Banri raises a hand to the area Tsumugi kissed (!!!!!!!), and slaps himself by accident. Tsumugi snorts.

“You’re not allowed to spend that much money on me anymore, though.” he says.   
“But what if I wanna get another show,” Banri replies, dumbstruck.  
“You don’t have to pay for that.” Tsumugi looks up at him from under his eyelashes, a surprisingly devious smile on his face. “You can just call me anytime you like.”

If this was an ecchi type anime, Banri would be shooting blood from his nostrils right about now -- but it isn’t, so Banri has to do what's second-best.

Fall off the bench and hit his head on the gravel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello...come scream at me about DDAU at my twitter [@scarletmirror_](https://twitter.com/scarletmirror_)
> 
> thank you all for 200+ hits !! it makes me really happy that people are reading DDAU !! ( ; w ;)


	7. chapter seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tsumugi tries a new type of stream, and banri feels slightly green.

“So you ended up meeting him in person?”  
“Itaru-san,” Banri is filled with the urge to whack Itaru’s character again. “Why do you say that like it’s so weird. Isn’t your camboy your boss.”  
“Yes, but he doesn’t know I watch him, does he.” Itaru said. “Fuck, your three o’clock.”  
“Shit -- “ 

Banri’s fingers fly over his controller, ducking down as if he was actually ducking from the zombie attack. Itaru whistles, even as Banri takes a couple of hits from the zombie in the process.

“‘Kay, I’m good,” Banri says, having his character use the medkit. “Isn’t your boss that scary looking green-haired bowl cut chara?”  
“Don’t say bowl cut like it’s a _ bad _thing, Banri.” Itaru replies. “I watched one of Daffodil’s streams, and he has a bowl cut too.”  
“But his is cute.”  
“Like you’ve seen senpai’s.”  
“Why the fuck would I watch your boss on BloomHub.”  
“Dunno, variety. Ah, support, support.”  
“‘Kay, stop whining.” 

As Banri navigates his character over to Itaru’s, he sighs, loud enough for Itaru to make a noise of questioning, followed almost instantly by a yell at a zombie that Banri can’t actually see. What the fuck, was this a bug?

“Shit, shit, I’m gonna die. I’m gonna die.” Itaru’s voice is frantic. “Banri, fucker -- “  
“I’m here, Jesus -- “ 

Two clean shots make easy work of the remaining zombies, and the ‘VICTORY’ sign appears over Banri’s screen. He sighs _ again _, putting his controller down on the table. Itaru chuckles through his headphones.

“You alright there, Banri?” he asks. "Ooooi. Is there a lag?"  
“I want to see Daffodil-san,” Banri replies, distantly looking over at his phone. “It sucks, Itaru-san. I just want to see him.”  
“Whooo, what kind of otome is this.” Itaru replies, unhelpful as ever. “I choose the second option ~ ”  
“Second option is me hanging up on the call to call him ~ “ Banri replies. “Bye bye, Itaru-san ~ “  
“Oi, hang on a moment! You’re promised to -- “

Instantly, without mercy, Banri quits the Discord call, pulling his headphones off of his ears. He shakes his hair out properly, before reaching over for his phone. He’d just text to see if Tsumugi was free, not for any other reason. That was it. Just to see if he was free. 

Before he can even open Skype, a message pops up on his screen.

**TsumTsuki: **Banri-kun, are you free now? 

Holy shit, was Tsumugi psychic or something?

**NEO: **yea  
**NEO: **i was about to text y| 

Banri hesitates on the message, before eventually just deciding to send it. Tsumugi probably won’t mind, right…?

**NEO: **i was about to text you  
**TsumTsuki: **Oh, what great timing…!  
**TsumTsuki: **This is a little silly, but.  
**TsumTsuki: **I don’t know whether you have my streams on notification, so… 

Banri absolutely does.

**TsumTsuki: **Just in case you don’t, I’m doing one soon.  
**NEO: **oh really? ill def come and see  
**NEO: **wait tsumugi-san did you text me just to make sure id be at ur stream  
**TsumTsuki: **Well, it’s a little bit of a different type, and I wouldn’t want you to miss out.  
**TsumTsuki: **And I have to remind you not to waste your money on me, too.  
**TsumTsuki: **I’ll see you at the stream, then. 

And like a flash, Tsumugi’s offline, leaving Banri with no room to tell him he’s absolutely not wasting money on him, that he wants to spend money on Tsumugi. Banri chews his lower lip -- he’d have to find another way to let Tsumugi know this after the stream… Honestly, wasn’t it adorable that Tsumugi specifically came to tell Banri that he was doing a stream? 

Banri really _ was _special, and he couldn’t feel more lucky as he scrolled through the messages. His heart was incredibly warm -- it was unlikely that Tsumugi did this same sort of thing with his other viewers, which meant Banri was different, right...? He chews on his lower lip, getting up from the couch to turn his console off.

Almost instantly, his laptop lights up with a notification, and Banri nearly vaults over the couch to get there, skidding into his expensive chair and signing into the website. He was first on the stream, and Tsumugi’s eyes soften at the sight of him. 

He’s currently sitting on the bed, in what looked like a set of pyjamas. They sported oversized short sleeves, along with a cute open collar. The dark stripes going down the matching shirt and shorts were blue, over the baby pink of the fabric. The shirt ended about halfway down the cuffed shorts, which ended at the top of Tsumugi’s thighs, clear in the way he was sitting cross-legged. He's wearing fluffy socks, with the design of a cute penguin on them. 

The thing that drew Banri’s eyes the most was the fluffy teddy bear sitting in between Tsumugi’s legs, clearly a well loved toy from how squished it looked. His eyes trail over Tsumugi’s outfit, and sees him tuck some hair behind his ear, and adjust his glasses, which Banri _ knew _he didn’t need -- so this was just for fun, right? 

“Banri-kun,” Tsumugi says, and Banri snaps to attention. “We’ll probably wait around a little as people come in...I chose a little bit of a not-busy time because I’m nervous.”  
**NEO: **what are you nervous abt youll do fine  
“You say that, but…” 

Before Tsumugi can continue, more people start to join the stream, whistling and tipping wildly at the adorable look that Tsumugi had on. He squeezes the bear a little closer to himself, an absolutely adorable blush rising over his cheeks. 

“I’ll wait another five minutes,” Tsumugi says, slipping into character. “And then we’ll start, okay ~ and I’ll explain what’s going to happen.”  
**NEO: **looking forward to it 

His message was an understatement. Banri is on the edge of his seat, watching how soft Tsumugi looked, holding the cute teddy bear in his arms, glasses perched on his nose, and those cute pyjamas… His scenery seems to have changed as well -- Tsumugi’d normally do his streams in a bare looking bedroom area, or sometimes in the lavish living room, but today’s stream took place in what Banri was sure had to be a hotel room, judging by the art hung on the wall behind him, and the soft sheets on the bed. 

Tsumugi’s feet shuffled a bit on the bed as he pulled them up, a little giggle leaving his lips. The chat _ burst _ into compliments and sweet talk, and Banri watches as Tsumugi’s tips tick up, fingers itching to provide some of his own money. Ah, Tsumugi had said not to _ waste _, right, so --

Like it was easy as breathing, Banri sends over a tip. Tsumugi looks over at the camera, shooting it a serious look, before quickly moving back into character. Banri chokes.

“Damn it,” he says, rubbing his face. He’d just have to tip carefully when Tsumugi wasn’t paying attention.

The five minutes of waiting passes by like treacle, everyone too excited to see what kind of show Tsumugi was going to put on for them today. When the clock finally hits 5:05, Tsumugi adjusts the camera -- and suddenly, Tsumugi's viewers realise that the camera today was going to be moving.

“Um,” Tsumugi says, holding the camera up to shoot his face. “I’d like to try out one of the roleplay streams, today. What we’ll do is, um, I’ll pretend that you’ve come over for a sleepover, and it gets a little, uh, risque…kind of. Um, I’ll also...have to introduce someone to you all.” 

Tsumugi stands up, then, and gestures from outside the camera. There’s a long sigh, and then someone steps into frame. Shirtless, tall, buff, wearing a good pair of grey sweatpants any sane person would kill to get into, but the thing that really drew Banri’s eyes was the dark mask stretched over the man’s mouth and nose, with a cute little cat face on it. 

Banri snorts. He can’t help it.

“This is Orchid,” Tsumugi says, leaning against him.   
“What kind of name is Orchid,” Orchid (?) replies, turning his head. “Couldn’t you have picked something less flowery.”  
“It’s cute ~ “ 

Tsumugi’s smile eats away at Banri. He half wants to _ be _ the Orchid guy, honestly, because being that close to Tsumugi’s angelic smile is a treat only the best deserve. (He has half a mind to say to himself that he _ is _ the best, but he isn’t _ that _self centered. Is he?) 

“Whatever,” Orchid says, crossing his arms over his well-defined chest. “Hi. I’m Orchid. Uhhh...I’m going to be helping Daffodil out by holding the camera.”  
“Orchid’s gonna be your stand-in for today ~ “ Tsumugi says, turning to smile at the camera. “I know...we don’t normally do this kind of thing, so...if you guys don’t like it, let me know, okay?” 

Banri...doesn’t know whether he likes it or not. He can’t give a straight answer, that’s for sure, but something in the innermost parts of his heart pokes at him and tells him to quickly say no before Tsumugi continues, but that was clearly irrational of him to do so...right?

“Ehe...I’m really surprised you all like it so much,” Tsumugi says, covering his smile. What a waste. “Then...we’ll get started. Orchid, go stand outside and I’ll let you in when I’m ready.”  
“You’re the boss,” Orchid says, and takes the camera with him as he goes.  
“Taa-chan,” Tsumugi says, and the movement of the camera freezes. 

Orchid (Taa-chan????) lowers the camera, showing the floor to the viewers, who have instantly begun discussing who the hell _ Taa-chan _ is. Orchid is Taa-chan, but what kind of name could Taa-chan be taken from? Who was this guy? What was Taa-chan’s relationship with Daffodil? 

Banri doesn’t want to say it, but uneasiness settles in his gut. They clearly had some kind of close relationship, so what was he in Tsumugi’s eyes…? Plus, judging by what Tsumugi had told them earlier… man, he was going to have to watch this guy fuck Tsumugi…? He rubs the bridge of his nose, before sucking it up to the best of his ability. Tsumugi had specifically called him for the stream, so he’d stay through it. 

Just as Banri was convincing himself to stay calm, the tinkling bell of Tsumugi’s laughter sounds through his headphone speakers, and the chat starts to go wild with compliments and tips. Banri, however, is stock silent again, wishing he could just hear that laugh again, and again, just for him. He puts a hand over his heart -- he really does have it hard, huh…

“Jeez,” Taa-chan says, and lifts the camera up again, leaving the room as previously intended. “Oi, viewers, uh...I can’t see the comments, so I don’t know if this is a good view.”  
“Lift them up a bit, Taa-chan,” Tsumugi calls. “Oh, tie it to your head like a Go-Pro.”  
“Can you drop that?!” Taa-chan replies. “And -- and, that’s...not a bad idea, actually.” 

The camera goes dark for a few moments. The chat is losing it -- they honestly find Tsumugi’s antics in clothes just as much as they enjoy it when he’s not wearing any, which Banri appreciates a little. Tsumugi tries really hard, and works really hard on his things -- his fans know that, and they wouldn’t be set back over small things like camera issues, especially when it’s his first time.

Banri also finds the soft laughter and awkwardness especially enticing. 

When vision returns to the camera, Tsumugi’s standing in the open doorway, hair adorably ruffled, and glasses just slightly askew.

“Ah, you made it!” Tsumugi says, eyes sparkling. He was the picture of the boy next door, your best friend. “Come in, come in! I already set up a futon for you.”  
“Oh, thanks. You didn’t have to.” Taa-chan says. “It’s been a long time, huh.” 

For a second, Tsumugi’s eyes flicker towards the camera, eyes harder than anyone expects, before instantly softening. Was that not part of the script? Banri lowers his head, balancing it against his palm as Tsumugi leads Taa-chan inside the room, showing him the bed, and the futon.

Tsumugi sits down on the soft bedding, and then waves Taa-chan over. He sits, and Tsumugi inches just a little closer, looking straight into the camera’s lens.

“Hey, Taa-chan,” Tsumugi says. “Have you ever kissed anyone?”  
"Huh? What are you talking about?” Taa-chan instantly replies. 

Honestly, watching this was just like watching a filmed porn show. Banri was incredibly impressed by their acting skills, and how, for some reason, the porn had a fucking build up. Though, he couldn’t say he _ didn’t _want to know about their characters…

“I _ mean _, have you kissed anyone before?” Tsumugi continues. “You know ~ “  
“O-Of course I have.” The embarrassment in Taa-chan’s voice is very, very clear. “I’ve kissed someone.”  
“Li~ar.”

Tsumugi shifts, throwing a leg over Taa-chan’s lap, and sitting down, arms wrapping around his neck. Banri licks his lips, watching as more of Tsumugi’s thighs are revealed with the movement. As he sits, his shirt rides up slightly, fabric creasing enough to give the viewers a small glimpse at the skin beneath. The chat crows in anticipation. 

“I’m not a liar,” Taa-chan says, breathless. “Daffodil -- what are you -- “  
“Don’t lie to me,” Tsumugi whispers. “There’s no way someone like you would have kissed someone, judging on your...reactions ~” 

If Banri didn’t know better, he would have been absolutely sure that this Tsumugi was _not _the Tsumugi that he’d bought taiyaki for just a week or so ago, blushy and embarrassed. This Tsumugi was completely different, and Banri liked it, just as much as he liked Tsumugi in general.

“Daffodil,” Taa-chan tries again, “I -- “  
“No ~ way.“ Tsumugi replies, cupping his face. “Listen to me, okay? I saw you, you know...watching me in the changing rooms. You pervert, did you like watching me strip ~ ?”  
“I wasn’t watching you.” Taa-chan refutes.   
“Yeah, you were.” Tsumugi’s lips break into a seductive smile, tongue running over his lower lip. “Want to see up close, Taa-chan?” 

Leaving him no room to respond, Tsumugi gets off of Taa-chan’s lap, stepping back slightly, before running his hands up his body, slowly, taking his sweet time over his crotch, hips, and chest, before starting to slowly undo his buttons.

Taa-chan springs into action, stepping forward and taking Tsumugi’s hands away. Slowly, he starts to unbutton the clothing for him, Tsumugi looking up at him with a pleasant looking smile. 

“Taa-chan, how greedy. You want to touch, too?” he says.  
“If you’re offering yourself like this,” Taa-chan replies, “of course I do.” 

_ There’s something about watching this in first person that makes it a little more sinful, _ Banri thinks, watching Taa-chan unbutton Tsumugi’s shirt fully, before slipping his hands into the fabric, against Tsumugi’s supple skin, and run his hands up and down his ribs. Tsumugi giggles, and Banri’s heart pounds a little harder in his chest.

“Then kiss me, too,” Tsumugi says. 

Taa-chan leans down, inches away. The way he angles his head is almost perfect -- the camera’s pointed down enough to see Tsumugi’s chest, as Taa-chan rubs circles over his hips, and then pulls his hands up over his sides, and over his shoulders, before pushing, taking Tsumugi’s shirt with it.

“Let’s get rid of this, huh, Taa-chan,” Tsumugi says, lifting his hands. 

A growl leaves Taa-chan, and without a second word, the camera loses vision again, as he pulls it up and out of the way. The chat is screaming, only left with the sound of them kissing, slick and sloppy. Banri’s half glad, actually -- seeing Tsumugi kiss someone would probably have been the nail in the coffin for him.

“Don’t be -- nnh -- inconsiderate, Taa-chan -- mmph -- hey, don’t you get -- enough of this…” Tsumugi says, in between kisses. “Put the camera back.”

Tsumugi’s muffled words cause chaos amongst the chat, more and more people trying to figure out what the relationship between Taa-chan and Tsumugi is. Banri’s heart sinks in his chest, chewing on his lower lip as he watches Tsumugi pull the camera back into view, looking kiss drunk and messy, his pyjama shirt hanging loosely on his lower arms. He adjusts, letting the shirt slip completely off, and smiles.

“For someone who’s never kissed, you’re quite good at it, Taa-chan,” Tsumugi teases. “Don’t you want to touch a little more?”  
“Fuck,” Taa-chan whispers. “Yeah, I want to touch. Let me -- “  
“Fufu.” Tsumugi rolls his hips, in a movement everyone is sure probably feels fantastic. “Go on, then… Touch and touch, wherever you like…” 

Despite the feelings burrowing themselves deeper and deeper into Banri’s heart, his trousers tighten, and he quickly pushes a hand underneath the waistband, taking himself in hand. If he just pretends that Taa-chan is him, this would be...a lot easier. He swallows.

Taa-chan’s hands are running up and down Tsumugi’s body again, up his stomach, and thumbing across his nipples, holding him like a doll in his lap. Tsumugi moans, softly, leaning into his touch more. Taa-chan absolutely takes his time, almost as if forgetting that there were people watching -- who don’t actually seem to mind. Banri can see people actually discussing fanfic in the chat. 

_ Like that isn’t weird at all, _ Banri thinks to himself, continuing to watch Taa-chan squeeze and scratch at Tsumugi, leaving red marks down his skin. What feels like hours pass, and Tsumugi rolls his hips again, moaning out praises. He clings a little tighter to Taa-chan, and adjusts his position, starting a slow pace of simply rolling his hips. One of Taa-chan’s hands settles on Tsumugi’s hip, and he giggles.

“Taa-chan,” he says, “you’re being very gentle today.”  
“Oi, didn’t you want me to play a virgin.” Taa-chan replies under his breath. “You’re ridiculous.”  
“Hahaha ~ “ 

Tsumugi rolls his hips down again, and they both let out a cut off groan, leaning into each other as they do so.

“I want more,” Tsumugi whispers, right into the mic. “Can you give me more...please?”  
“Strip,” Taa-chan orders, and Tsumugi giggles again, getting off of Taa-chan.

Carefully, slowly, Tsumugi pushes the shorts off his hips, letting them fall to a pile on the floor. Today, instead of panties, or anything like that, Tsumugi’s wearing nothing. His cock stands upright, twitching slightly from all the grinding, and precum leaks from the tip, pearly as it slides down the length of his cock. 

“Am I pretty, Taa-chan?” Tsumugi asks, and Taa-chan snorts.  
“Of course. I’ve thought it since we were children.” Taa-chan says, and lets Tsumugi climb back into his lap.  
“That long? I must have left a big impact.” 

Taa-chan looks down, in order to take in the view of Tsumugi’s cock, twitching against his stomach, and takes him in hand, starting to slowly stroke at him. Tsumugi moans, pushing his hips against Taa-chan’s notably toned stomach. Banri rubs his face a little, annoyed. For real, this guy is stupid ripped. Taa-chan runs his thumb over the tip of Tsumugi’s cock, and Banri can hear the smile in his voice, as Tsumugi arches, moaning again.

“Taa-chan,” Tsumugi whispers, “you have to fuck me…please.”  
“I’d have to get you ready,” Taa-chan replies. “Unless…”

Taa-chan lifts Tsumugi, in another movement that makes Banri wish he went to the gym more often, and lays him down on the bed, pulling him until he’s on his stomach. Tsumugi turns his head, adjusting his glasses again (he doesn’t need them, but…) and gets up, onto his elbows and knees, raising up to allow Taa-chan (and consequently, the other viewers) a better look at him. 

He’s dripping. Banri swallows, jealousy rising in him like poison in his veins. What he would _ give _to be in Taa-chan’s position, able to indulge all he wanted…

“Fuck,” Taa-chan says, accurately voicing everybody’s thoughts. “You look...incredible.”  
“Get on with it,” Tsumugi replies, hiding his face in the sheets. The color in the tips of his ears is so endearing.   
“Yes, sir. You’re the boss.” 

Taa-chan grabs the lube from off camera, lowering his trousers and letting his own cock pop out. It’s big -- annoyingly so. He lubes himself up, and positions, before just pushing in, seemingly uncaring as to whether Tsumugi was ready for it or not. Tsumugi’s mewl indicates he was, but it would have been common courtesy to ask.

“_ Fuck _,” Taa-chan says, eloquently. “Tight as ever.”  
“This is -- hgh -- why I have so many breaks, be-between stre -- ahh -- between streams,” Tsumugi whimpers, curling his fingers tighter into the sheets. “Ohh, fuck -- “  
“I’m gonna go,” Taa-chan says, and Tsumugi makes a strained noise. “Is that a yes.”  
“Just _ do it _,”

Taa-chan complies, slowly pulling out. He keeps his eyes on where they’re connected, and the camera follows, watching the slick movements of Taa-chan’s cock pushing deep into Tsumugi. He has his hands tight on his hips, pulling Tsumugi back with each punishing thrust, and Tsumugi throws his head back, as if about to cry out a name, but what comes out instead is:

“Wow.” It is the most deadpan thing Banri has ever heard.

There’s a long silence, populated only by the wet noises of Taa-chan fucking Tsumugi into the sheets -- and then laughter, as Taa-chan loses his mind over what Tsumugi said. Tsumugi cranes his head back, a self-satisfied smile on his face.

“You -- “ Taa-chan tries to say, before laughing again. “What the hell -- “  
“It sure is something to wow about,” Tsumugi says, notably slightly more stable than before. “Wow, fuck me harder with your big dick.”  
“_ Idiot _,” Taa-chan chastises, and Tsumugi laughs, burying his face in the sheets again.  
“I wasn’t kidding, though,” Tsumugi replies. “Fuck me, Taa-chan.”  
“I was already doing that. You distracted me.”  
“Maybe you should work on not getting distracted, then.”  
“You should be working on your attitude.”

Tsumugi opens his mouth, as if to retort, but any words he was going to say vanishes as Taa-chan pushes in again, likely hitting all the right spots for him. He melts into the sheets as Taa-chan keeps fucking him, the pace quickening. The moans don’t stop coming out of Tsumugi’s mouth, crying out “Taa-chan”, and “Harder, more”, until it starts becoming intelligible. Taa-chan, smartly, turns Tsumugi over on one of his thrusts, effectively spinning Tsumugi on his dick, and pushes in one more time.

His timing must be perfect, as with that last thrust, Tsumugi comes, the liquid landing on his face and glasses. His legs tighten around Taa-chan’s waist, and Taa-chan keeps fucking him through it, soon stopping as he, too, assumably, comes inside of him. Their breaths are heavy for a few moments, and then the stream goes dark as Taa-chan pulls the camera off of his head.

Banri’s not sure whether that’s the end of the stream or not. It was more abrupt than usual, but it was likely that after Tsumugi was done doing whatever it was he was doing with Taa-chan, he’d make a post or a Tweet saying what had happened. He doesn’t close the window, though, looking at the numbers dwindle down. As he starts to get up to get a tissue, he hears a soft voice come through the speaker.

“Psst...Banri-kun.” 

He blinks. As his eyes flicker to the number of people, it dawns on him that he’s the only one remaining.

It’s Tsumugi, breath still coming out in little pants. Maybe he’s being fucked again?

“Um...I’ll call -- ah -- you after this,” he says. “We can -- hnh -- um -- if it’s okay, I’d like to, uh, get your opinion on, that -- ow, Tasuku, not so ha -- Ah, ah -- Um, I can’t see the chat, so, I’ll -- yeah. I’ll call you. Bye.”

The stream shuts off for real, this time, and Banri sighs, running his clean hand through his hair. As much as he loves that he can talk to Tsumugi after streams like this, the jealousy still festers within him. Who _ is _Tasuku? Does he have the right to ask these kinds of things?

And why does it _ bother _him so much…?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heheheheeehehe
> 
> talk to me about ddau!! [@scarletmirror_](https://twitter.com/scarletmirror_) on twitter :D


	8. chapter eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> banri is an idiot. send tweet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sometimes i get surprised that people read ddau KLJDFSKLGJjkjfgs  
anyway!! i hope you all enjoy this chapter!! theres tsukkazu + juten :3c

“Tsuzurun ~ !”  
“Kazunari."

Kazunari’s voice sounds first, before he finally remembers the sticker over his webcam, peeling it away to reveal his face. The little sticker of a shiba dog is stuck onto the side of his monitor, for easy fixing later. Tsuzuru couldn’t help the indulgent smile that spreads over his face, leaning on his palm to watch him for a moment. Currently, it was 9 in the morning, and Tsuzuru had just woken up. Meanwhile, where Kazunari was, it was 5 in the afternoon, and he was getting ready for dinner. Kazunari's kitchen bustling with action, water boiling on the stove, and something baking in the oven.

“You seem busy,” Tsuzuru says, rubbing at his eyes. “What are you having for dinner?”  
“Hm ~ I don’t know yet ~ “ Kazunari replies, touching the spatula to his lips. “Have you had breakfast, Tsuzurun?”  
“I’m thinking about it now.” 

Tsuzuru was honestly not sure when the last time his eating schedule had been this messed up. The night before, he’d forgotten to eat dinner because he’d gotten distracted while calling, and ended up watching Kazunari sleep, and he’d missed breakfast a couple days ago because of the same reason. Really, being in love was messing him up. Especially being in love with someone as chaotic as Kazunari.

“Tsuzurun, Tsuzurun,” Kazunari says, and Tsuzuru’s attention returns to him. “Make sure you eat something, okay?”  
“Shouldn’t  _ I  _ be telling  _ you  _ that,” Tsuzuru replies helplessly. “Remember all the times you’d pull all-nighters to do your work?”  
“I remember ~ but y’know, it’s Tsuzurun’s fault I’m spending so much time on eating now.” Kazunari sighs, rubbing the back of his neck with a free hand, cracking eggs into the pan with another. “I’m going to be so healthy when you come back, woohoo ~ !”  
“Good.” Tsuzuru yawns again, and Kazunari’s eyes flicker over to him. “I’ll be...coming back for the winter holidays.”  
“Mm!” 

Kazunari’s shining. It’s the only way Tsuzuru can describe how Kazunari is right now -- he’s shining, eyes soft and gentle, an angelic glow seeming to encapsulate him. Tsuzuru touches the screen, softly, and Kazunari tilts his head at him. 

“Tsuzurun is looking quite a lot?” Kazunari asks.   
“I like to look at you.” Tsuzuru admits, and then he flushes, looking away.  
“Tsuzuru,” Kazunari’s voice is so soft. “Ehehe.”  
“What’s with that,” Tsuzuru mumbles. “‘Ehehe’?”  
“I like you so much.” Kazunari says, then. “I really really like you.”  
“...Just like?”  
“Well, love too ~ But I wonder if you can handle me saying that ~ “

Tsuzuru cannot, in fact, handle him saying that, and proceeds to dunk coffee all over himself in a stupid, and yet grand, missing of his mouth. Kazunari yells, in a sound that’s half hysterical laughter, and half shock. 

“Tsuzurun! Are you alright?!” Kazunari asks, voice still high, and Tsuzuru blinks at his shirt. “Oi?!”  
“I really,” Tsuzuru begins, “really, really, love you."

It’s Kazunari’s turn to slip on the floor, on seemingly  _ nothing _ , but the snort that leaves Tsuzuru’s lips is  _ so  _ worth the embarrassment and the pain Kazunari briefly had to face. His eyes soften, looking up at Tsuzuru, and he leans a little on the counter his laptop is on, unable to stop smiling. 

It just so happens that Kazunari’s smile is the one thing Tsuzuru likes to see most, so it's a win-win, really.

"Oh, Tsuzurun!" Kazunari says, eyes lighting up. "So you know Settsuar and Tsumutsumu, right?"  
"I would _hope _I know Tsumugi-san," Tsuzuru says, watching him. "Why? What about them?"  
"Well, I just wanted to give you a little update on them!" Kazunari runs to the pan, shaking it slightly, and Tsuzuru worries for a moment over his boyfriend's health. "Ummm ~ Settsuar is really whipped for that guy, you know..."

Speaking of 'Settsuar', Tsuzuru does have some questions he still feels he hasn't asked yet about Kazunari and Banri...

"Kazunari," Tsuzuru says, and Kazunari glances over at him. "About you and Banri..."  
"Ah!" Kazunari puts the spatula down on the table, and hurries over to look at him. "About me and Settsuar?"  
"Well, you jumped into dating me really quickly." Tsuzuru says. "This isn't like...you know."  
"Sloppy seconds?"  
"Ugh."

Kazunari furrows his brow, and then pokes the camera. Tsuzuru instinctively leans back, opening his mouth to speak, only for Kazunari to interrupt him with another one of his dazzling smiles.

"Tsuzurun," he says, "I did have a crush on Settsuar, but in the end, I realised that I loved someone else a little more than that guy."  
"Oh?" Tsuzuru rubs his forehead, as if he really was poked by him. "And who would that be?"  
"I wonder ~ " Kazunari giggles, and turns back to his cooking.

Tsuzuru can't help but smile, knowing Kazunari isn't looking. He's happy that Kazunari seems happy, at least.

"Tsumugi-san, though..." he says. "Isn't Banri about the same age as _that person_...?"

* * *

Banri’s lying in bed as the call comes in, staring up at the ceiling. His mind was preoccupied with thoughts of the stream, wondering still about Tsumugi’s relationship with the man he now knew as Tasuku. It wasn’t that he felt threatened or anything (he did, just a little bit) but the thought wouldn’t leave him no matter how hard he tried to justify to himself that he wasn’t in charge of Tsumugi’s relationships, nor should he care so much that he and Tasuku had such a good relationship. 

Skype rings for one minute, goes silent, and then rings again. Banri finally moves to pick the call up, adjusting his hair until he’s satisfied. Tsumugi’s on the other end, looking satisfied and comfortable, in a pair of cute looking egg pyjamas that completely do not suit the image Banri had of him an hour ago. Tsumugi brushes the hair from his cute face, and gives him a smile that melts Banri’s heart in seconds. 

“Hi, Banri-kun,” Tsumugi says softly. “What did you think?”  
“What did I think, huh,” Banri says, mostly to himself. “I think it’s definitely different from your other streams.”  
“In a good way?” Tsumugi’s voice is filled with hope.

Banri doesn’t want to break that little piece of hope that was in Tsumugi’s voice. The stream  _ was  _ good, and Banri did come from watching it, and he  _ was  _ satisfied, so he couldn’t just say that it was bad just because he didn’t want to see Tsumugi fucked by someone that wasn’t him -- again, a weird feeling that he didn’t know how to quantify in words.

“In a good way,” Banri says. “Definitely a good way, but…”  
“But?” Tsumugi prompts.  
“But, um...I’m wondering whether people are worried about seeing Tasuku.” 

Tsumugi’s eyes widen for a minute, before realisation dawns over his eyes, and he hides his face, embarrassed.

“What’s wrong?” Banri asks, eyebrows rising.  
“I didn’t realise I’d said his name when talking to you earlier.” Tsumugi flushes even more. “That’s embarrassing. Don’t hold it against him.”  
“Why would I hold it against him?” Banri’s amused, despite their topic of conversation. “Is it bad?”  
“No, I mean -- “ Tsumugi waves a hand. “Tasuku has a proper job and everything, so to see him on stream, fucking me like that -- “  
“You have a proper job too, Tsumugi-san,” Banri cuts in, and Tsumugi looks over at him. “I mean...you do this, and you run your florist, right?”

The smile that spreads across Tsumugi’s face is outright healing, warming Banri up from the inside out.

“You remembered,” Tsumugi says, genuinely surprised.  
“Of course I remembered.” Banri replies. “If it’s to do with Tsumugi-san, of course I’ll remember.”  
“That’s  _ embarrassing _ , Banri-kun,” Tsumugi covers his face again. “You really are an odd one.”  
“Haha.” 

Banri wants to be with him. Really, he just...wants to see him, right now. Maybe hold his hand, share the air, eat together, maybe Banri would even cup his face as he leans in to --

“Banri-kun?” Tsumugi asks. “Um, I...I probably won’t be doing this type of stream too often. I don’t want to slip and say ‘Tasuku’, and I’m not sure about Taa-chan’s tolerance.”  
“Oi,” a voice says from the background on Tsumugi’s side, and he laughs. “My tolerance is  _ fine _ .”  
“Ah...yeah,” Banri says, distant.  


What relationship did Tsumugi and Tasuku have? They seemed to be living together, and they were close enough that Tasuku could fuck him on stream, and they seemed to have a particularly good friendship, if not more… Tsumugi was  _ right there _ , Banri could ask him, but…

Was it really his business to know these sorts of things? If Tsumugi wanted Banri to know, he would have said, right? Banri didn’t have any right to police Tsumugi’s relationships, and if he asked, he surely would weird Tsumugi out, and that was the  _ last  _ thing he wanted to do. He sucked in a long breath, and then returned his eyes to the camera, meeting Tsumugi’s soft gaze staring back at him.

“It was a good stream, though,” Banri says, honestly. “I had a lot of fun. And...thanks for letting me know in advance about it.”  
“Of course,” Tsumugi says. He presses his fingers together, adorably so. “I...um, like having you watch.”

If Banri wasn’t sitting on his bed, he would have certainly fallen off, but in this case, he just tips back, arm over his eyes as his heart pounds like a drumbeat in his chest.

“I want to see you,” Banri says, aloud, and Tsumugi makes a little noise. “In real life, I mean...I want to see you.”

The thought goes straight from Banri’s brain to his mouth, without a second thought spared for it. Of course, after he said it, his mind begins to run, thinking about all the different ways that this was a problem. Tsumugi had a day job, and he must be busy, and surely he wouldn’t want to spare his time to see some nobody art student who he only really knows through his streaming website. It’s stupid of Banri to think that Tsumugi would be the type to just throw everything away for a person, especially because money was so important in today’s society. 

He opens his mouth to retract his sentence, and explain it as another slip of the tongue, when he hears Tsumugi laugh again. Banri’s run out of adjectives to describe the feelings rising in his heart when Tsumugi laughs, but if he could combine all the positive emotions ever into one word, that would be the best way to describe his feelings.

“Okay,” Tsumugi says, indulgently. “Let’s meet up again.”  
“Really?” Banri tips forward, managing to barely catch himself before he slams his face into the keyboard. “You want to meet up?”  
“I’m free this Friday,” Tsumugi looks down at his phone -- Banri notes that it’s an older model -- and then back up at him. “Is that alright with you?”

It’s more than alright. Banri can’t help the joy that keeps continuing to rise up in his heart, that Tsumugi seems to want to meet up with him as well -- it warms him from the inside out. He presses his fingers together a little more, nodding aggressively. 

“Friday is good. Really good,” he says. “We’ll have the weekend, so -- “  
“We’ll?” Tsumugi says, and Banri grabs the nearest pillow, whacking himself with it.

* * *

“You really said that?”  
“_Yes_, I really said that.”

Banri’s lying on Tenma’s bed, staring up at his ceiling. The paint was flaking off, and large chunks of the original wall were visible behind the orange. Tenma’s lying beside him, and Banri can feel his gaze on him without even looking. 

“Your ceiling is falling apart.” Banri points out. "Who has a popcorn ceiling these days."  
“You didn’t answer my question.” Tenma pokes his side, and Banri  _ yelps _ , sitting up. “Banri-san, did you  _ really _ say that?”  
“Yeah, so what.”

So what, Banri says, despite having freaked out about perhaps insinuating to Tsumugi that he’d wanted to spend the weekend together. And Tsumugi had  _ known  _ what he was trying to say, so Banri felt, firstly, terrible, for taking advantage of the situation like that, and secondly, he was embarrassed beyond belief thinking that he had enough of a relationship with Tsumugi to do that sort of thing.

“Have you tried to explain it to him?” Tenma’s on his stomach, now, staring at him. “That you didn’t mean it.”  
“That would mean  _ bringing it up _ ,” Banri covers his face, letting himself drop back on the bed. “I have  _ pride _ ."  
“Okay, okay.”

Tenma hums, loudly, and rubs a hand over his face.

“Aah, I don’t know. Why did you ask me?!” he says, suddenly, and Banri groans as well. “Maybe you should just go and see what happens!”  
“I can’t just let whatever happen  _ happen _ ,” Banri says, throwing his hands up in the air. “I don’t want him to be disgusted by me!”  
“You’ve seen him ffff….f…” Tenma trails off, and Banri glances over to get a glimpse of Tenma’s impressively red face. “Fffff….Fu. Pleasure himself on camera, so if he was disgusted by you don’t you think he would have done all that?”

Honestly, no. If Tsumugi was disgusted by him, he’d probably have blocked him from the streams, and not contact him, ever, but Tsumugi was still texting him, still calling him, and they were still meeting up this Friday. Banri’s posture relaxes slightly, and Tenma let out a breath he hadn’t realised he was holding. 

While Tenma and Banri didn’t go to the same school now, they’d been close in their childhood. They’d happened to be neighbours, and went to the same elementary school, and from then on, it’d just been a pretty decently growing friendship. Banri appreciated Tenma as much as Tenma appreciated him. Tenma lived a relatively sheltered lifestyle, and went straight into acting the moment he could say sentences, though Banri was never sure whether that was something he wanted to do of his own free will, or something that his father had assigned for him. Tenma had never told him, and Banri wasn’t sure he should ask.

“My problems aside,” Banri says, looking over again, “how are you and Hyodo?”  
“Juza, huh…” Tenma’s face goes even redder. “Um…"  
“You haven’t confessed.”  
“I haven’t confessed.”  
“Tenma.” Banri shoots Tenma a Look. “It’s been  _ years _ .”  
“There are just some things you can’t say!” Tenma’s face flares up again. “I can’t just be like, ‘Oh, hi, Juza, actually, I’ve been in love with you since you first moved into my neighborhood, haha,’ can I?!”  
“You probably can,” Banri’s gaze is off in the distance. “Hey, Hyodo.”  
“Aaaa _ aaah _ ?!”

Tenma, in a movement that Banri would be proud of, if he wasn’t too busy laughing, falls off the bed, and crawls right underneath it. 

“Settsu,” Juza says, standing in the doorway. “Um...seems like a serious conversation. I should go.”  
“No, don’t go,” Banri says, losing his shit. “Hyodo, stay, what did you think of Tenma’s confession?”  
“Um.”

Juza shuffles from one foot to the other. He still has his obnoxious looking duffle bag over his shoulder, the bright Hello Kitty branding almost mocking Banri. He’d bought the bag for Juza as a joke, but he had not expected him to start using it without a second question. His little joke had definitely backfired on him, because whenever Banri saw it, he felt embarrassed  _ for  _ Juza. He sat up, properly, waiting for a response, as Juza drops the bag to the floor.

“I -- “ Juza begins, but is promptly cut off by the screaming under the bed. “Tenma.”  
“He’s dying.” Banri points out eloquently. “Oiiii...Tenma. Come out.”

Surprisingly, Tenma pops his head up from underneath the bed. His face is still an extremely dark shade of red, and he’s looking directly at the Hello Kitty bag, as if he’s desperately trying to avoid looking at Juza. It’s  _ hilarious _ . Banri is losing his mind watching them.

Juza had moved into their neighbourhood approximately eight or so years ago, and pretty much seamlessly integrated into Banri and Tenma’s life without a second question. His younger brother, Kumon, was more than welcome to their group, but he and Banri often got into fights because Banri picked fights with Juza, at which Juza always destroyed him, but Banri tried his best. He lay back on the bed, listening to Tenma blabber something about it being a movie thing that he had to quote, and he was just using Juza’s name as a stand-in, while Juza stood there, looking down at Tenma. Banri had no idea what was going on inside that guy’s head.

Though, somehow, Banri feels like he can understand Tenma’s plight. Kind of. If Tsumugi had walked in when Banri was confessing his love for him, Banri’s sure that he would have jumped underneath the bed as well, and refuse to come out no matter how much Tsumugi coaxed him. The fact that Tenma  _ had  _ come out was quite a miracle, actually. Distantly, Banri could hear Tenma continue to try to explain away what he was doing, before eventually just covering his face, mumbling things that were only barely audible to the both of them. 

“Ah!” Banri says, sitting up again. “That’s it!”  
“Wh-What?!” Tenma says, shocked silly by Banri’s sudden words. “What’s it?!”  
“I just have to tell the truth.” Banri stands, and almost tips over with the sudden enthusiasm. “Tsumugi-san would appreciate the truth from me. He’s that type of person.”  
“What?” Even Juza’s confused at this situation. “What do you mean, he would appreciate the truth…”  
“I’ll just be honest with him!” Banri says this, but he has no idea how ‘being honest with Tsumugi-san’ would go. “I’m gonna go!”  
“Banri Settsu, you can’t just -- “

The door slams behind Banri as he runs home, suddenly feeling a little lighter on his feet. Upon seeing Tenma’s plight at trying to tell a lie, he’d decided -- he could probably sacrifice his pride for Tsumugi, right? Still, it’s terrible to explain something like ‘I want to sleep with you this weekend’, but it surely can’t be  _ as bad _ as accidentally admitting your eight-year-long crush on your friend, right? Right?

And...if Banri was the lucky type, maybe...Tsumugi would want to, as well…?

He wouldn’t hold out for that sort of thing, though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im [@scarletmirror_](https://twitter.com/scarletmirror_) !!! please talk to me about ddau


	9. chapter nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's time for a sweet love date ...!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're so close to 69 kudos i can taste it.....  
i hope you all enjoy todays chapter!
> 
> ALSO please look at dita's [art](https://twitter.com/mimosa__cafe/status/1192625866808840192?s=20) of a scene from chapter 6 that ruined me .... ; w ;  
and also observe [this](https://twitter.com/nocturnalit_y/status/1192993777457205250?s=20) inspired art by twitter user @nocturnalit_y ...... Big Owocry
> 
> if you draw fanart / want to scream about ddau feel free to just mention 'dear daffodil' literally anywhere in the tweet. i will find it. and i will see it. or you can @ me skljgksdj

“You look full of nerves, Settsuar!”  
“Waagh!?”

Out of nowhere, a bouquet of flowers was dropped in Banri’s lap, and Kazunari came to sit next to him, stretching out slightly. Banri looks over to him, giving him an incredulous gaze. 

“Kazunari?” he asks. “Why are you here?”  
“I heard you were going on a date, so I wanted to bring my blessings ~ “ Kazunari winks at him. “I didn’t get these flowers from Tsumutsumu, don’t worry.”  
“Oh...thanks.” Banri holds the flowers a little closer to his chest. “Wait, hang on a minute -- “  
“I better go ~ Have fun, Settsuar ~ “

Like an errant poltergeist, Kazunari floats away, a smile still present on his face, and Banri was left sitting there, a bouquet of red and yellow and white flowers in his arms. He adjusts his hold on them, unsure as to how he’s going to explain this to Tsumugi when he arrives -- maybe he can say he bought them on a whim? Ah, but how is he going to explain giving it to him…?

“Banri...kun?”

Banri fumbles to his feet, and turns to face Tsumugi, whose eyes are now fixed on the flowers. Tsumugi studies each flower, and then looks up at Banri, his face a bright shade of red. Banri blinks -- and looks down at the flowers, and back up at Tsumugi. Maybe he was allergic to these kinds of flowers? Damn it, was Kazunari trying to sabotage him?

“Ah, um, these are -- “ Banri says, mouth deciding not to work with him.  
“They’re beautiful. Are they for me?” Tsumugi asks, voice...soft, with awe. 

There is no way in hell that Banri can deny anything now.

“...Yeah. I hope you like them.” Banri holds the bouquet out to Tsumugi, who takes it.

Tsumugi’s eyes are soft, touching the petals of the flowers gently, and he cradles the flowers in his arm, before taking Banri’s arm gently, face still adorably flushed. He tugs his arm, and as Banri looks over, Tsumugi leans up to kiss his cheek. Banri has like eight heart attacks, and he looks indignantly (as indignantly as he can, with a bright red face) at Tsumugi, who’s staring right back. He gives Banri a soft smile, and squeezes his arm.

“What’s your plan for today?” Tsumugi asks.   
“Oh, plans, huh…” Banri’s still flustered. “...D’you wanna go to the aquarium?”  
“The aquarium?”

Banri’s just about to make a comment about how it’s childish to go, and that they didn’t have to if Tsumugi didn’t want to, when he feels Tsumugi squeeze his arm again -- a likely unconscious movement. It’s so cute that Banri can’t stop the stupid little smile that crosses over his face -- and he quickly replaces it with his  _ cool  _ demeanor. Must be cool in front of Tsumugi, must be cool in front of Tsumugi…

“Let’s go?” Banri suggests, and Tsumugi gives him another dazzling smile. 

As they walked, Banri’s gaze falls on the flowers Tsumugi’s holding. He’s holding them like it’s a precious baby, like he doesn’t want to drop or let go of them -- whether out of fear, or care, Banri doesn't know. He meets Tsumugi's eyes, and notices the other has been staring at him.

“These flowers...did you pick them yourself?” Tsumugi asks.  
“No,” Banri admits. “I just picked what looked nice.”

If these flowers had some stupid meaning, Banri was going to kill Kazunari with his two bare hands. Tsumugi’s gaze drops back to the flowers, as he makes a soft little humming noise. 

“Why?” Banri decides to ask.  
“Well, these flowers,” Tsumugi gently touches the petals of a white flower, “represent secret love.”

Banri chokes on air, his own face lighting up red. God, this was terrible already -- Tsumugi already had Tasuku, and now he was out here giving Tsumugi flowers confessing his love? Sure, he loved him ( ** _??????_ ** ) but he didn’t want to become some type of homewrecker if he and Tasuku were really dating. Hell, should he ask Tsumugi about that? And when was a good time to explain what he meant by the weekend comment he’d made? Banri’s brain was going a mile a minute, mouth moving like he’s trying to speak, but with no sound coming out.

“Banri-kun,” Tsumugi says, amusement more than present in his eyes. “Are you alright?”  
“Hhh.” is all Banri can make out at this time. “Since you already have a partner, then -- "  
“Who said anything about me having a partner?” Tsumugi interrupts. Realisation soon dawns in his eyes, though. “...Do you mean -- you think  _ Taa-chan _ is -- “  
“Isn’t he?” Banri feels hysteric. “I mean, you two -- “  
“Oh!” It’s now Tsumugi’s turn to go red again. “No, no, he and I are just -- he’s -- “  
“Oh.” Banri blinks. “Oh. Oh! Then -- “  
“Um, but…”

Tsumugi squeezes the flowers gently, the sound of the crackle in the paper loud in the almost empty park. He swallows, and turns back up to Banri, wanting to say something, but the words seemed choked in his throat. Quietly, he presses his forehead into Banri’s neck. The tips of his ears are still a bright red, but the feelings swirling inside of Tsumugi were unreadable.

When he’d first saw the bouquet, joy had risen inside of him -- this was clearly some sort of love confession, right…? Did Banri...really think like this about someone like him? Banri had seen his streams -- he wasn’t disgusted? He wanted to pursue him? It made Tsumugi...really, really happy. He was so happy he could soar up into the air.

But on the other hand...Banri probably wouldn’t want to be tied down to someone like him, using his body to get money instead of trying to get his job back, trying to suppress the rumours spreading around him. And there was the problem of love.

Tsumugi...wasn’t sure whether he wanted to love someone. The feeling of love...was warm, and wonderful, and Banri exuded it when around him, but...to Tsumugi, it tasted sour. If he and Banri began dating, would Tsumugi be able to let Banri in enough…? It was a waste of time for Banri to date him -- he should find someone else that would fully return his love, guaranteed, instead of this defective product.

He was selfish, though. Tsumugi wondered if that was okay, to be selfish this once.

“Tsumugi-san?” Banri says, softly.

Without realising, Tsumugi notices that he’d been grabbing a little tighter to Banri’s arm. Blinking, a flush crosses over his face, and he pulls away, embarrassment clear as he looks away. The two of them are silent -- for a beat, and then Tsumugi suddenly feels a warm hand in his. When he turns to face Banri, he’s met with his smile, sending layers of warmth into his bones.

“Tsumugi-san,” Banri repeats, “I like you.”  
“Oh, that’s -- “ Tsumugi flusters. “Um -- “  
“You don’t have to say anything. I just wanted to say it.” Banri squeezes his hand, and it’s somehow the most comforting thing Tsumugi’s ever experienced. “Do you still want to go to the aquarium with me?”  
“Ah…” Tsumugi’s heart is beating so hard in his chest. “Yes, I’d like that.”

* * *

Banri still doesn’t know how it happened. 

He’s watching Tsumugi, hands pressed gently against the glass wall separating him and the jellyfish, and his heart whispers “ _ Oh, so you’re in love. _ ” 

“Love, huh,” Banri says to himself, and smiles when Tsumugi looks over.

His eyes are sparkling -- like stars, almost. Two blue gems in a porcelain face, enchanted with some kind of charm magic. Banri leans back against the railing, rubbing the back of his neck. Love, huh. Banri hadn’t thought about that sort of thing. All he knew was that the feelings he felt watching Tsumugi on streams, and being by his side in real life -- they were good. Warm -- they wrapped around him like a comfortable blanket, or like a warm hug. Love was…

( __ “Banri-kun, you did a great job on that test!”  
_ “Huh? Of course! Anything for you!”  
_ __ “Oh, stop…” )

He scratches at his neck. He’s sure he hasn’t felt this type of feeling before, but there’s familiarity in the way Tsumugi’s face and voice and countenance sit in the back of his mind. Comfort, almost.

“Banri-kun,” Tsumugi says, and Banri looks over at him. “I’m sorry if I’m boring you.”

Love could wait for a little longer.

“Not at all,” Banri replies. “You look like you’re having lots of fun, Tsumugi-san.”  
“Ah, well, the, um -- “ Tsumugi flushes again, prettily. “The jellyfish are really cute…”

To be honest, Banri doesn’t know  _ shit  _ about fish, nor is he really that interested in them. But watching Tsumugi run around with stars in his eyes is the best view Banri can ever have. (Though, the shark feeding session was  _ pretty  _ cool.)

“You’re pretty cute yourself, Tsumugi-san.” Banri teases. “Maybe I should call you Jellyfish-san.”  
“Stop that.” Tsumugi replies, moving back to him.

Banri holds his hand out, without another word, and Tsumugi hesitantly takes it, squeezing softly. The smile on Banri’s face only grows softer, swinging their arms slightly as they continued their way down the path. Tsumugi squeezes his hand again, and, as if prompted, Banri looks over at him.

“Banri-kun,” Tsumugi says softly, “thank you.”  
“Eh? The day isn’t over yet. Why are you thanking me?” Banri replies, nonchalantly.  
“Oh, um.” Tsumugi moves a little closer. “I haven’t had this much fun in a while, so...thanks for taking me out.”  
“Of course.” Banri can’t help it -- he releases Tsumugi’s hand to wrap an arm around his waist. “I’m glad you’re having fun, Tsumugi-san.”  
“Ah, that’s. I, um.” Tsumugi buries his face into his shoulder, but Banri can feel his smile. “Where do you want to go after this?”  
“If there’s time, we could go for dinner, and then I’ll take you home?” Banri suggests. “What do you want to eat?”  
“Something comfortable,” Tsumugi says, rather vaguely. “Something warm.”  
“We can go to one of those family restaurants.” Banri suggests.   
“Oh, good idea.”

They walked through the aquarium together, Tsumugi stopping every now and then to point out fishes that he found especially beautiful, and then once for a bit while Banri lost his shit over the name ‘Jackass Penguin’, and then again to ride a brief boat ride through the penguin enclosure. Tsumugi had pointed out a penguin lying on its back and said it looked rather like Banri. The man in question got quite embarrassed.

Once they arrived at the shop, they separate. Banri moves first over to the plush toy sections, scanning the shelves intently. He had to find the cutest one in store -- his eyes light up at the sight of it. A blue, plush jellyfish, with big round eyes and a little smile. He reaches out for it, quickly grabbing it to his chest. This was perfect -- he’d get this for Tsumugi. He pays for the toy with no further detours, waiting for the other by the exit. Tsumugi soon returns, a bag in his hand as well, and he smiles at Banri, all sparkly.

“This is for you,” they say, at the same time, holding their bags out to each other.   
“Ah -- you didn’t have to buy me something, Banri-kun.” Tsumugi says, surprise in his tone.  
“Likewise,” Banri says, brandishing the bag a little bit more. “Here -- take it.”  
“Thank you…”

They exchange bags, Banri secretly buzzing with excitement to see what kind of present Tsumugi had gotten him -- though, if he thought about it, he didn’t like the idea of Tsumugi spending money on him…

He reaches in, and pulls out an adorably stuffed penguin. He blinks down at it, and then looks over at Tsumugi, who’s currently cradling the baby jellyfish in his arms.

“Great minds think alike,” Banri says, holding the penguin. “I love it, Tsumugi-san.”  
“Me too,” Tsumugi says, voice exceedingly soft. “She’s perfect.”

Banri’s heart melts into a puddle, and he links their arms, holding onto his penguin with his free hand. 

“Let’s go, then.”

* * *

Tsumugi’s still holding the jellyfish in his arms. 

He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t openly staring at it back when they were still in the aquarium’s store, but to think that Banri had gone to get it especially for him definitely made Tsumugi’s heart flutter. Honestly, Banri could do  _ anything  _ at this point, and Tsumugi would feel himself get all nervous and shy. It’s a weird feeling -- the feeling of going upside down on a rollercoaster, perhaps -- despite the fact you knew you were safe, you were still scared of falling out.

Tsumugi leans into Banri’s side, and Banri turns to him, tilting his head slightly.

“Tsumugi-san, are you tired?” he asks. “I can take you back.”  
“You don’t have to. You can just drop me at the station.” Tsumugi replies, feeling like a soft cake.  
“It wouldn’t be right of me to let you walk home alone,” Banri echoes. “I’ll walk you to the station and back to your house.”  
“You really don’t have to…” Tsumugi didn’t  _ really  _ want Banri to see his house right now. “...but I might have to trouble you to do so, if you’re so sure…”  
“I don’t mind at all.” Banri’s voice is casual. It was only a walk, after all. “I don’t really...want to leave you yet.”

_ Ba-dump _ .

Tsumugi buries his face into the little jellyfish plushie, only looking away to tap his card against the reader, and walk down the stairs with Banri, who seems to be as oddly quiet as he was. Tsumugi steals a look at him, and, with a small degree of joy, notices the blush spread across Banri’s face, as well. He chuckles, and Banri looks over, looking like a kicked puppy. Tsumugi snorts, leaning into his side again.

“You shouldn’t say such things,” Tsumugi says. “It’ll be embarrassing for you.”  
“Do you like it?” Banri asks, instead.

This is a good question. Tsumugi’s not sure whether he likes it or not. Every sweet thing Banri says to him makes him smile, and makes his heart pound, but…

“I like it,” Tsumugi says, voice muffled by the fabric of the jellyfish.   
“Then I won’t stop,” Banri replies. “Tsumugi-san, you’re…”

Banri stops, then, looking Tsumugi over. He looks -- surprisingly small. Holding the jellyfish to his chest, leaning into his shoulder...this type of Tsumugi was very different from the confident Tsumugi he often saw on streams. Banri looks over him, once more, and then slowly wraps an arm around his waist, pulling him closer against his side. This type of Tsumugi -- he really feels the urge to protect him, and make sure nothing could ever hurt him. His heart thumps twice, and he swallows down the lump in his throat.

This is really love.

The train pulls up, bringing a fair amount of wind with it, and Tsumugi burrows closer into Banri’s side, only pulling away when the doors opened. Banri follows right behind him, the two of them grabbing a seat on the empty train car. It was incredible -- at this time, they’d somehow managed to find an empty train car. Banri opens his mouth to speak, only to feel a weight on his shoulder, and a soft feeling on his cheek.

“Tsumugi-san?” Banri whispers, but the only response he receives is Tsumugi’s soft breaths. “...Asleep, huh…”

This wasn’t fair to him at all. He covered his face with his other hand, the arm around Tsumugi’s waist pulling him a little closer. He seriously couldn’t move, now -- he had to keep an eye out for the stop, and make sure Tsumugi was comfortable. The things he had to do…

The train chugs along its merry way, going from stop to stop. Banri can feel Tsumugi’s soft breaths against his cheek, and has to use  _ every  _ inch of his power not to make a noise to wake him up. At the next stop, some people come in, but the train remains relatively empty throughout their journey, Banri watching the stops going by. Soon, the people that had entered the car left, and Banri was alone with Tsumugi again. 

Tsumugi looks peaceful when he sleeps. It isn’t the first time that Banri has made this observation, but seeing him so close, without a screen between them only accentuates the fact. He watches him, a hand moving to touch before he can stop himself —

“Hnnh — “

Tsumugi presses his face into Banri’s shoulder, holding onto his jacket. He twists a little, and presses in more, whispering something Banri couldn’t hear. Quickly, Banri pulls his hand away. Tsumugi seemed to be..shaking? Eyes flashing, Banri throws all caution to the wind and wraps both arms around him, pulling him directly onto his lap, holding onto him.

“Tsumugi-san,” he says. “Are you cold? Ah, fuck, is it a nightmare…”

This was honestly the worst. Banri had no idea how to deal with this feeling of Tsumugi grabbing onto his jacket, pressing his face into his neck -- asleep like the dead -- as if he’s trying to bury himself into Banri’s chest. Why would Tsumugi have nightmares? What happened to him that he would have nightmares? Maybe he just watched one too many horror movies and it’s just coming back to him? Whatever it was, Banri wanted to protect him so badly.

Tsumugi shakes for a few more moments, before finally stilling, and Banri relaxes, soothing him the only way he knew how -- running his fingers gently through his hair.

“Banri-kun,” Tsumugi whispers, and Banri snaps to attention. “Where are we?”

Banri’s eyes finally lifted to the LED screen above the train’s doors, and swallows. They were about two or so stops away from Tsumugi’s stop. 

“Almost there.” Banri replies, voice low. “You can sleep more if you want.”  
“I don’t want to trouble you this much,” Tsumugi says lightly. “Um, why am I in your -- “  
“Oh, you were. That is. I was. Uh -- “ It’s finally Banri’s turn to fluster. “You were shaking, so.”  
“Oh.”

Tsumugi bashfully looks away, settling himself back in his original position, sitting quietly next to Banri. Silence echoed throughout the already silent train car, and Banri presses his fingers together impatiently, heart still going faster and faster in his chest. Surely Tsumugi would think he was weird now, right? He already knew about his feelings, but to suddenly wake up in Banri’s lap like that, this was taking advantage of him, right? Fuck, Banri is so screwed.

“Banri-kun,” Tsumugi says, as the speaker begins to announce his stop, “would you mind staying over?”

Banri blinks blankly at him.


	10. chapter ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> one thing leads to another...and then...?

Tsumugi has no idea what’s going through his mind right now. Banri’s hand is in his, and he’s slowly taking the familiar route back to his house. Banri’s walking behind him as if nothing is happening, but Tsumugi can feel the tension growing between the two of them. The both of them, going home to Tsumugi’s place...with the weekend free… 

It didn’t take a genius to assume what was going to happen.

“Tsumugi-san,” Banri says, but Tsumugi doesn’t respond.

How could he? Selfishness had taken over him in a split moment, and he’d asked Banri to come back with him. Banri was a particularly smart person, surely he’d have connected the dots as well. Sure, he had made a joke that time about spending the weekend together, and his own innuendo was clear, but Tsumugi was sure that Banri didn’t mean it. (How could he? For someone like himself, who would want to have  _ sex _ with someone like him?)

“Tsumugi-san,” Banri says again, a little more loudly. Tsumugi remains quiet, though, eyes falling on his house.

He pulls his keys out of his pocket, fumbling with the gate, and then pulling Banri through to his front door. He’s about to put the keys in, when Banri’s hand slams against the door, shocking Tsumugi into dropping his keys.

“Tsumugi,” Banri says, and then blinks. “Ah, I didn’t mean to scare you -- “  
“No, it’s alright. It was a little bit of a surprise.” Tsumugi says. “What is it?”

Banri pulls his hand from Tsumugi’s grasp, and gently cups his face, looking him over. Banri’s eyes on him felt like they could pierce his soul, looking deep inside his thoughts. He has no space to move, even though he can, but Banri’s hand on his cheek is so warm -- if he moves, he’ll take it away.

“Tsumugi-san,” Banri says again. “I...Is this what you really want?”

Is it? Tsumugi looks up at Banri, down at the keys in his hand, and then back up at him. Their eyes meet, and Tsumugi unconsciously licks at his dry lips. 

“Banri-kun is quite kind to me,” Tsumugi replies softly, lifting a hand to Banri’s cheek. “How lucky I must be.”  
“I should be the one saying that,” Banri replies, instead, leaning into his touch. “Don’t skirt around the question, Tsumugi-san.”

Honestly? Yes, he wants it. Banri...doesn’t treat him like an object. He doesn’t treat him like a sex doll. He asks his opinion and makes sure he’s comfortable, and he doesn’t push things, despite how clear the want is in Banri’s eyes. 

“I want it.” Tsumugi’s voice is small, despite his thoughts about the situation. “If you do as well, that is.”

Banri’s reluctant, but he pulls his hand away from the door to let Tsumugi unlock it. Tsumugi’s careful with the keys, making sure he puts them away properly before facing Banri, who’s kicking off his shoes. 

“Banri-kun,” Tsumugi says, “don’t mind the mess. I didn’t really think to clean…”  
“Don’t worry. I got it.” Banri puts his shoes by the door. “Sorry to intrude.”  
“It’s alright.”

Tsumugi wanders into his little house — thankfully, it’s not  _ as  _ dirty as he’d feared, but it’s not that great, either. He swallows, looking at the dishes still stained with grease from that one time he’d ordered pizza and just ate while thinking about the past, and starts to run water to clean them. 

“Would you like some coffee?” Tsumugi calls, hearing the footsteps coming up behind him. “Banri-k — “

Warm arms wrap around him from behind, Banri holding him gently. Tsumugi nearly drops the plate he’s holding, turning his head to face him. Banri…looks strained. Tsumugi’s not sure why, though...could it be that he really doesn’t want this?

“Tsumugi-san,” Banri says, “why don’t you sit down and let me handle some of this?”  
“What? No,” Tsumugi replies, incredulous. “I can’t possibly — it's _my _home -- “  
“Let me take care of you a little.”

Banri’s voice is so genuine that it leaves Tsumugi no room to respond — standing there, gawking, as Banri takes the plates from his hands and starts to clean. He has no idea what inspired Banri to do this. 

Banri’s thoughts, however, are haywire. 

From the moment he’d entered the house, he briefly thought he was over at Itaru’s place. It was the only place he felt was steeped in so much regret. It felt like the weight of the world was being pushed onto his shoulders. As Tsumugi left for the kitchen, Banri looked around, wandering over to the living area. His eyes moved across the photos on the shelves -- pictures of Tsumugi with his family, with his little dog, his grandparents… Banri stopped, then, eyes fixated on a certain picture. Tsumugi, with his arms around two younger men, and surrounded by others. The image looked like it was crumpled, and then hastily straightened. The frame was cracked, slightly. 

One person in the back held up a sign -- it was difficult to read, but it had Tsumugi’s name on it -- followed by the word 'sensei', maybe? Banri blinked at it.

Tsumugi-sensei…

It had suddenly made sense to him why Tsumugi was always so focused on Banri’s studies, and worried so much when he skipped classes -- but with this knowledge, Banri wondered -- why wasn’t he a teacher anymore?

The thoughts return to him as he’s putting the dishes in the drying rack. This isn’t something he could ask casually, so he threw the thoughts to the back of his mind, watching as Tsumugi resigns himself from cleaning to start up the coffee machine. He fumbles with it, in an adorable way, and eventually gets it running, the smell of coffee soon filling the apartment. Banri looks over at him, again.

“Tsumugi-san,” he asks, “are you sure about me staying?”  
“Yes,” Tsumugi replies, voice almost flat. “I want you to stay.”  
“Are you saying that because of -- “  
“Banri-kun,” Tsumugi’s voice wavers, now. “Please. We don’t...have to do anything, I just...would like to have company right now. If that’s alright with you.”

Banri’s heart softens, and he reaches over, pulling Tsumugi into his arms again. He rubs his back, letting Tsumugi lean into him. He’s not sure what kind of nightmare Tsumugi had on the train, or whether this moment of vulnerability is due to it or not, but if Tsumugi wants him to stay, he’d stay as long need be, classes be damned. 

Well, maybe not. He should probably  _ try  _ to be a better student.

“Banri-kun,” Tsumugi says. “I like you.”  
“Mm,” Banri replies, running his hands through Tsumugi’s hair. “I like you, too, Tsumugi-san.”  
“I like you, but…” Tsumugi holds his shirt. “I don’t know if that’s my answer just yet.”  
“Hm?”

Tsumugi looks up at him, then. Banri meets his eyes, and finds himself swallowing, worried as to what would happen next.

“I like you, but I’m not sure. Is that okay?” he asks.  
“It’s okay.” Banri says, cupping his face softly. “Anything’s okay as long as you’re here.”  
“I didn’t take you as a romantic,” Tsumugi sniffles, holding his hand against his cheek. “I’m not sure, but I…”

Tsumugi seems to struggle with words. He presses his lips gently to the heel of Banri’s palm, eyes distracted.

“I’m not sure,” he tries again, “so I hope you can wait for my answer.”  
“I’ll wait,” Banri whispers. His heart is pounding like a drummer. “There’s no rush. I’m not going anywhere.”

Carefully, Banri brings his free hand up to Tsumugi’s face, cupping his jaw softly, tilting his head over to him. Tsumugi meets his eyes, and, as if knowing, closes them. Banri’s careful -- oh so careful, as he leans down to press their lips together -- as gently as he possibly can. Banri can feel how soft Tsumugi’s lips are against his, and he immediately regrets not getting any form of chapstick or lip balm on before he did this.

Tsumugi doesn’t respond -- at first, but soon presses back into the kiss, cupping Banri’s cheek as he kisses back (!!!) careful with the way his lips move against his. The coffee machine beeps, but neither of them pay any attention to it, with the way Tsumugi licks oh so softly at Banri’s lips. When his mouth opens, Tsumugi takes the initiative to lick at Banri’s tongue, holding on a little tighter.

Banri’s absolutely going to lose his balance like this, and steadies himself against the counter as he’s kissed, hands moving from Tsumugi’s face to his waist, careful to hold him comfortably against him. As the kiss starts to get a little more intense, though, Banri has to pull away, taking in heavy breaths to calm himself. Tsumugi looks a little dazed himself, blinking up at him.

“Tsumugi-san,” Banri says softly. “Do you want to…”  
“Mm…” Tsumugi’s eyes flicker to the side, and then back to him. “...Please?”

Banri’s known this since the first time they’d met in real life, but there is absolutely no way he can say no to Tsumugi.

* * *

Tsumugi leads him to his bedroom. It’s surprisingly clean -- and familiar to Banri’s eyes. He’s seen this place a  _ lot  _ \-- a good many of Tsumugi’s streams are held in this very bedroom. The bedsheets are familiar, and Banri knows that Tsumugi’s box of toys is hidden underneath his bed, along with the vibrator that occasionally haunts Banri’s dreams. He swallows, watching as Tsumugi sits himself down on the bed.

Tsumugi carefully pats the place next to him, and Banri sits as directed. With a careful ‘huff’, Tsumugi moves, sitting on his lap, facing him. In this position, Tsumugi’s weight is directly on his lap, and Banri’s hands automatically move to hold his hips against him, as Tsumugi leans down to seal their lips together again. 

It’s one thing watching Tsumugi through the screen, but something completely different to have him in his arms, holding onto his waist and kissing him. Banri’s hands slowly start to slip under the jacket Tsumugi’s wearing, tugging gently, but reluctantly pulling away for him to toss the jacket to the side. Their lips seal together again, a little harder, as Tsumugi pushes Banri back onto his back, still holding onto him. With each kiss, Tsumugi pushes slightly back against him, like he’s grinding on his stomach, which is  _ so  _ hot. 

But Banri doesn’t forget what he’d said earlier, and gently turns them over, pulling away from Tsumugi.

“Let me take care of you,” he says again, tone completely different. “Tsumugi-san.”  
“M-Mm…” Tsumugi’s face flushes completely, which is adorable. “You don’t have to...I’m relatively good at servicing others.”  
“I want to.”

Banri leans forward to kiss Tsumugi’s cheek, and then his ear, before starting to trail his kisses down his jaw and neck. It’s a large regret that he can’t leave marks  _ anywhere  _ on Tsumugi, especially if he wants to be streaming any time soon. If he leaves marks, people will definitely see. 

That being said, Banri doesn’t exactly want to hurt Tsumugi, either, so he keeps his kisses soft, gentle against the skin of his neck and throat. His hands, meanwhile, move slowly down Tsumugi’s sides, making him squirm, and slide under his shirt. His knees come up to support himself, carefully holding himself over Tsumugi, who still looks flustered at the development.

“Can I take your shirt off?” Banri asks.   
“You don’t have to ask,” Tsumugi replies, but Banri can hear the clear happiness in his tone -- he likely didn’t expect him to.  
“Got it.” 

Banri kisses him, a short, loving kiss, and moves his hands up, taking his shirt with them. He follows suit for the rest of Tsumugi’s clothes -- asking before removing them, and Tsumugi gets more and more embarrassed, covering his face with his hands as Banri sits back, between Tsumugi’s legs, looking him up and down.

“B-Banri-kun,” Tsumugi whispers, behind his hands. “It’s embarrassing...Don’t look so much…”  
“Tsumugi-san is beautiful.” Banri says, then. “So pretty.”   
“ _ B-Banri-kun _ …”

The flush spreads from Tsumugi’s face down his body, over his shoulders and fingers. Banri lifts a hand, kissing each finger gently, before letting it drop, moving over to kiss his way down, keeping his eyes on Tsumugi to make sure he’s comfortable. Tsumugi grabs his hand, holding it as Banri moves lower and lower, until he’s kneeling on the floor between Tsumugi’s legs. Tsumugi’s sitting up, now, so he doesn’t have to let go, and blinking adorably down at him.

“Banri-kun,” Tsumugi says, as if it’s the only thing he knows how to say right now.  
“Tsumugi-san,” Banri replies, and uses his free hand to pull Tsumugi closer to the edge of the bed. “This is alright?”  
“Mmhm.” Tsumugi, now clearer, puts a hand on top of Banri’s head. “Go ahead, Banri-kun…”  
“Tell me what feels good, ‘kay?” Banri kisses Tsumugi’s thigh. “I don’t have a lot of experience.”

Actually, he has none.

“Okay.” Tsumugi’s smile reaches his eyes. “Go ahead, Banri-kun.”  
“Okay.”

Banri’s got nerves, now. He wants to make sure Tsumugi feels incredible, so he can’t fuck up. With Tsumugi’s hand still in his hair, Banri leans forward, taking the head of Tsumugi’s cock into his mouth. Tsumugi lets out a soft gasp, which makes Banri smile a little. So far so good… 

With a slow movement, he lowers himself down all the way, choking slightly as he reaches the base of Tsumugi’s cock. Tsumugi  _ moans _ , a wonderful sound to hear in real life, and the grip in his hair tightens slightly. Banri wants to ask whether it feels good, whether Tsumugi feels good, but he can’t speak, right now. Carefully, he moves back, and then down again, swallowing him down carefully, careful not to trigger his gag reflex. Tsumugi’s letting out a plethora of noises, from whimpers to giggles and moans, grip tightening again in Banri’s hair as he sinks down.

“It feels -- good,” Tsumugi whispers. “So good...faster, Banri-kun, please…”

Banri takes a deep breath the next time he pulls up, and nods, smiling softly, as he sinks down again. He holds onto Tsumugi’s hip a little tighter as he moves, going faster as requested, or at least trying to. He’s not even sure if Tsumugi is feeling it, but he tries his best for him, swallowing around his cock, sucking and licking at the head. He pulls up and closes his lips around the head of Tsumugi’s cock, sucking, and Tsumugi cries out, whimpering Banri’s name.

It’s a beautiful sound. Banri hopes Tsumugi can call his name like this more often.

“Banri-kun, I’m going to...I’m going -- “

Banri didn’t think Tsumugi would be this fast, but he likes it -- it’s cute. Quickly, he swallows him down all the way, and Tsumugi wails softly, hips bucking up into Banri’s mouth, releasing into his throat. Banri chokes, but stays where he is, happy to just swallow down the liquid in his mouth. It’s bitter -- more so than he expected, but he can’t complain, pulling off only when he’s swallowed it all.

His eyes flicker up to Tsumugi’s, regretting that he didn’t get to see him come, but this post-orgasm look is cute, too, eyes squeezed shut, mouth hanging open, holding tightly to Banri’s hand. Amused, Banri kisses Tsumugi’s knuckles until he looks at him, and gives him a gentle smile.

“Banri-kun,” Tsumugi whispers, leaning closer to him. “That felt good…”  
“I’m glad,” Banri says. “Are you sure you want to kiss me? I probably taste like cum.”  
“I’ve tasted worse,” Tsumugi replies, and kisses him softly. “It’s not bad.”  
“A-Ah,” Banri mumbles, stupidly. “Um. Yeah.”

Tsumugi smiles, and lets go of Banri’s hand, lying back on the bed. Banri follows him, slipping off his shirt and tossing it over to the side, where he’d not-so-neatly dumped the rest of Tsumugi’s clothes. He holds himself up over Tsumugi, who laughs, pulling him down to lie on top of him. Tsumugi kisses his cheek, and then his jaw, and moves his hips up against Banri, who finds himself moaning.

“Banri,” Tsumugi says, and Banri’s shocked silly at the sudden lack of honorific. “That is, um…”  
“I like it. You can call me Banri, if you like.” Banri says, despite the fact his heart had skipped several beats upon hearing it.   
“If I call you that, you have to start calling me Tsumugi,” Tsumugi replies.  
“I can’t do that.”  
“Hnnn. You did earlier.”

Earlier, huh… in that room full of darkness… Banri kisses Tsumugi again, so neither of their thoughts begin to wander to earlier, grinding his hips down against him. Tsumugi gasps into his mouth, whimpering softly as he presses in, arms wrapping around Banri’s neck to hold him closer. 

It dawns on Tsumugi then -- that this is likely the most gentle sex he’d ever had in his life. Even when he’d had sex with Tasuku, it was never as soft or loving as this. He’s not sure how to feel about it, considering Banri hasn’t even started fucking him yet. He kisses the side of Banri’s head, whimpering his name again, and kisses his ear, holding a little tighter.

“Banri-kun,” Tsumugi murmurs, “do you need the lube?”

Banri glances up at him, meeting his eyes.

“Is it okay?” he asks. “For me to, y’know. Fuck you.”  
“I have no complaints.” Tsumugi says, a sparkle in his eye. “It’s in that drawer.”

Banri pulls away from him, and Tsumugi looks up at the ceiling of his house, adjusting himself on the blankets. He can hear Banri shuffling around, opening drawers to find the things he needs, and his thoughts begin to wander.  _ That person  _ should be the same age as Banri, now, huh…? He rubs his face, slightly, and turns his head from the ceiling, staring now at Banri, with his trousers still on, looking intently at two bottles in his hands. It’s incredibly endearing, how focused he is on all this.

Thinking of it, Tsumugi’s thoughts begin to wander back to this whole situation. If Banri’s any gentler with him, he’s sure that he’s going to cry. He was a defective product, clearly, and Banri’s still so soft, so careful with everything he does around him. He’s seen all types of Tsumugi at this point, and he’s still sticking around. A fleeting thought crosses his mind -- worry that Banri is just doing this for the sex, and after it’s over, he’ll leave, but Tsumugi has  _ some  _ common sense. 

Even so… the thought lingers for a little longer before fading. He’s sure Banri isn’t that type of person. 

_ That person _ was like this too.

“Tsumugi-san, which do you prefer?” Banri calls, and Tsumugi turns onto his stomach to better face him. “There’s this strawberry type, and then this plain type…”  
“If you’re going to use a condom, the strawberry type isn’t good.” Tsumugi says. “If not, either is fine.”  
“I-If I’m going to -- “ Banri chokes. “Um, do you. What do you want me to do.”  
“Either is okay with me.”

Tsumugi has no opinions about these sorts of things. Banri returns to staring painfully at the lubricant, and Tsumugi can’t stop the wave of affection that begins to rise up in his heart, moving a little closer to him.

“Take the plain one. We’ll do it with a condom,” Tsumugi advises. “Does that sound alright with you, Banri-kun…?”  
“Ah. Yeah.” Banri puts the strawberry lubricant back into the drawer with, Tsumugi notices, a slight degree of hesitation…? “Why do you have so many types of condoms…”  
“I can’t really answer that one,” Tsumugi admits, flushing. “I don’t know, either.”

Banri decides on taking a strip of condoms from the first box he sees, and sets everything on the bed. As Tsumugi notices the sheer amount of condoms Banri has taken out, he finds that he does want to make a joke about it, but can’t bring himself to. Banri is surprisingly cute when it came to these things…

Tsumugi happily lets himself settle back against the cushions as Banri crawls between his legs, holding the lubricant in one hand. He looks down at Tsumugi’s cock, before back up at him, looking very much like a lost puppy. Tsumugi, pitying him, turns over, getting onto his knees. He adjusts his knees on the bed, spreading them slightly for him.

“Do you know how to do this?”

Tsumugi can hear Banri’s sharp inhale of breath, and feels hands on his hips, trailing down to cup his ass, and move down his thighs. He lowers his back slightly, and Banri’s deep breath tells Tsumugi almost everything he needs to know. 

“Go ahead.” Tsumugi whispers. “I want it.”  
“Let me know when you’re ready,” Banri replies.

The cap clicks open, a familiar sound, followed by the wet sound of the liquid being poured out. Tsumugi doesn’t have the heart to tell Banri that he’s put way too much lube on his fingers, because he’s trying so hard. A smile crosses his face again, holding onto the headboard a little tighter. Banri really...wants to take care of him. It’s a concept he’s not unfamiliar with, but to say he was familiar with being cared for was something else entirely.

“I’m gonna go ahead,” Banri says, and Tsumugi makes a soft noise of approval. “I’ve been thinking about this…”

Banri’s fingers circle around his entrance, and then, slowly, he slips one in. Tsumugi sighs, comfortable with the feeling.

“You’ve been...thinking about this?” Tsumugi asks. “Since when…?”  
“Since…” Banri pauses to think, pushing his finger deeper inside of him. “Since that day you called me.”  
“With the -- nnh! There, Banri-kun -- since the vibrator?” Tsumugi tightens around him. “Haha -- were you surprised when I called you -- hnh, Banri-kun -- when I called you by your name?”  
“Mm.” Banri licks his lips. “Really surprised.”

Tsumugi lets out another breathless laugh, mind more focused on the fingers slowly slipping in and out of him. He whimpers, feeling a second start to press at him -- Banri doesn’t ask this time, but Tsumugi doesn’t mind, lowering more so Banri can see his approval, holding even tighter to the headboard.

“It made me feel,” Banri begins, starting to slowly press the second finger in, “it made me feel like you were looking right at me.”  
“I was,” Tsumugi admits. “I couldn’t see you, but...I wanted to make sure you had a good show.”  
“Tsumugi-san…”

Banri’s voice goes quiet, in a way that’s terrifyingly familiar to Tsumugi. 

“Tsumugi-san,” Banri whispers, curling the fingers gently inside of him, “is this...really something you want?”

This question, again…

Tsumugi turns, looking back at him -- as much as he can look back at him, from this angle. A soft smile spreads across his face -- registering the look of worry in Banri’s eyes, his fingers still moving in him. He backs up against them, pulling back slightly to press against Banri’s back. Banri has to move to accommodate, Tsumugi almost riding his fingers at this point, and holds his hips steady with his free hand.

“Banri-kun,” Tsumugi says, “if I never did this, I never would have met you.”

It’s an excellent dodge away from the question. Banri, who is trying his best not to be stupid, recognises that Tsumugi doesn’t really want to talk about this, and kisses the nape of his neck, moving his fingers faster.

“I understand,” Banri says, kissing his jaw. “No pressure, Tsumugi-san.”

Tsumugi’s heart swells, and he leans back against Banri more, wrapping his arm around him to hold on, backing his hips against the fingers now smoothly pressing in and out of him. His breath comes heavy from his lips, licking them as Banri kisses his cheek absentmindedly, before capturing his lips again. A third finger slides in -- Tsumugi moans into Banri’s mouth, which only seems to drive him up the wall, pressing deeper inside.

“Banri-kun, Banri-kun,” Tsumugi whispers, holding on tighter. “Banri-kun -- ah -- more, please -- “  
“P-Please, huh…” Banri slowly pulls his fingers out, leaving Tsumugi whining even louder. “Um, uh...one moment.”

He gently lowers Tsumugi back onto the bed, turning him onto his back, and looks down at him, eyes...complicated. He’s still wearing his trousers, and Banri hastily wipes his fingers off onto them, before grimacing.

“Were they expensive?” Tsumugi asks.  
“No, but…” Banri lets out a laugh, after he processes what Tsumugi’s said. “They’re not expensive. I didn’t want to wipe them on your sheets.”  
“My sheets have seen worse, Banri-kun,” Tsumugi replies, and Banri snorts, unbuttoning his trousers.

He quickly moves to stand, starting to push his trousers off. Banri’s body, however, seems to be against it, as he slips, and gets his leg stuck in one of the ripped holes of his jeans. Tsumugi hears a thump, and looks up to see Banri on the floor, staring up at the ceiling in an expression he can categorise as ‘extreme regret’. The laughter starts to rise before he can stop it, covering his mouth as he laughs. He doesn’t mean to, naturally, but with this sort of situation, he’s not sure what else he can do but laugh.

“Banri-kun, do you need help?” he asks, through snickers.   
“No,” Banri replies, regret oozing into his bones. “I got it.”

Though, Banri doesn’t mind making fun of himself just a little to make the aura in this house lessen a bit -- and to take some of the weight off of Tsumugi’s lithe shoulders. A smile crosses his face, despite his pitiful conditions, and he finally, somehow, manages to get the jeans and his underwear off, climbing onto the bed again. Tsumugi’s still laughing, giggling madly to himself behind his hand.

Banri gently takes his hand away, and presses their lips together again, intertwining their fingers as he slowly pushes Tsumugi into lying down, settling between his legs. Reluctant to pull from the kiss, Banri slowly pulls up, taking the strip of condoms he’d set to the side, and tears open the packaging, rolling the condom down onto his dick. With Tsumugi’s eyes on him, it’s actually a lot harder than it comes off as in porn. He does it, though, because he’s naturally good at most things.

Careful, he slathers lube onto his dick, and then picks Tsumugi’s legs up, holding them against his chest, and positions himself at his entrance.

“Tsumugi-san,” Banri whispers, kissing his calves. “I’m gonna go. Let me know if it hurts.”  
“Mm. Okay.” Tsumugi’s face is so cute...Banri wants to kiss him. “I’ll tell you.”

At the reassurance, Banri nods, and starts to slowly push into him.

The feeling is indescribable, but Banri tries to quantify it anyway -- the tightening around his cock makes his mind go blank, but it is nothing compared to the feeling of  _ being inside  _ the person he loves. It’s like pulling a solo, and getting what you think will be an N, only for the brown packaging to fall off the box and reveal the rainbow-colored box of an SSR. 

Banri’s a gamer. Itaru would understand. 

“God,  _ fuck _ …” Banri breaths, pushing all the way in. “T-Tight...fuck…”  
“You could have...hnh -- stretched a little more if it’s uncomfortable...for you.” Tsumugi says, voice just as strained as Banri’s. “Ah -- hah...Banri-kun, Banri -- !”  
“Did you just…” Banri’s mind clears, only briefly. “Did you just say ‘Banri’ again…?”

Tsumugi’s not looking at him, but the red flush on his cheeks tell him all he needs to know.

“Tsumugi,” Banri tries, and the blush only gets worse. “...Tsumugi, you feel so good…”  
“Nnhn…” Tsumugi bites on his knuckles. “Move, Banri...it feels good.”

He’s ready already? Banri’s sure if he starts moving now he’ll definitely come! 

Adjusting his position, Banri reaches down to gently stroke at Tsumugi, his cock still wet from when Banri had sucked him off earlier. Tsumugi squirms on the bed, especially when Banri rubs against the head. Noting this sensitive area, Banri focuses all of his energy on rubbing around the head of his cock, hearing Tsumugi cry and moan and whimper, one hand on his wrist, and the other tight in his.

“Fuck me, Banri, please -- !” Tsumugi begs, and Banri decides he can probably do a little without coming.

Slowly, he pulls out, and then pushes back in, and the movement is enough to send stars into his mind. Banri gasps, echoed by Tsumugi’s little whimper. It feels  _ incredible _ . He starts to make a pace, gently pushing in and out of him, moving Tsumugi’s legs just so he can see him -- and boy, what a sight it is. 

Tsumugi’s all red faced, drool trickling from his open mouth, his tongue hanging out. He looks like he wants to hide, but can’t, both hands occupied with Banri. Banri maneuvers the hand on Tsumugi’s cock to hold Tsumugi’s hand, and he lets out another whimper, feeling Banri begin to pull him back onto his cock, fucking him just a little harder.

“Oh, G -- oh, fuck, B-Banri…”   
“Tsumugi -- “

Banri has never had sex before. He’s seen a lot of porn, and he regularly watches Tsumugi’s streams, but he’s never actually had sex before. Honestly, he never really thought he’d be interested enough in anybody to actually have sex. But here, right now, with Tsumugi underneath him, crying out his name and holding onto his hands, Banri decides that even if this is the only time he has sex, it’d be worth it.

“Tsumugi…” Banri whispers, leaning down to press their lips together softly.   
“Hnnh -- “ Tsumugi responds, eyes opening to look at him. “What is it…?”   
“Tsumugi,” Banri says again. “I love you...and I’ll wait for your answer as long as it takes, but...is it okay for me to stay by your side? Be with you… is that okay?”

Tsumugi looks up at him for a few moments, and Banri stills, pushing deep inside of him. He lifts Tsumugi’s hand to his lips, kissing each knuckle gently, and suddenly, he feels Tsumugi start to shake. Quickly looking over him, Banri realises that Tsumugi is crying, and releases one hand to cup his face, wipe his tears from his eyes.

“Banri,” Tsumugi whispers. “I like you so much...even for someone like me…you want to stay by my side…”  
“Someone like you,” Banri echoes. “Someone as wonderful as you, Tsumugi…? Of course -- who wouldn’t want to stay by your side…?”

He kisses his tears, and feels Tsumugi wrap his arms around his neck, holding onto him like he needs him to survive.

“I’ll be here as long as you need me.” Banri whispers. “Always.”

Tsumugi sniffles again, holding tighter.

“Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long wait!!! ; w; i've been so so busy and i finally got access to good wifi to post so i hope you all enjoyed this chapter!!


	11. chapter ten...point five.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a look into the lives of some others in the universe... (or all good animes should have a filler episode!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I WAS TRAVELLING...
> 
> ill be back now so chapters should come regularly (??????) thanks for sticking around and holy SHIT thanks for 1k hits !!! i'm glad yall like this so much skljgksd

“Good work today, Chigasaki-san!”  
“Well done today, Chigasaki-san!”  
“Thank you very much! Good work today to the both of you as well!”

Itaru sighs, running a hand through his hair the moment he hears the  _ click-clack _ of heels fade into the distance. The office is almost empty at this time of night, which means he can basically stay here a little longer and grind on this game...he was going to ask Banri to come, but Banri was probably out with that guy he liked right now.

Itaru sighs again, tapping his phone screen impatiently as it loaded. So what if he was alone? It didn’t matter to him. He’d spent most of his school days alone, so why would it be any different now? It’s not like he needed anybody. Single-player is just fine for Itaru-san.

“Chigasaki,” 

Itaru jumps up, hiding the phone behind his back. In front of him stands Chikage Utsuki, his boss, and also popular camboy artist Chikausa. Chikage smiles at him, holding some files in his hand. Itaru panics for a moment -- did he mess up something somewhere? He really didn’t want to be doing work right now.

“You’ve worked hard today,” Chikage says, and Itaru breathes an internal sigh of relief. “Aren’t you going to be heading home soon?”  
“I thought I’d stay a little while and catch up on some emails,” Itaru replies, jovial. “How about you, senpai? You’re still at the office this late.”  
“I have some catching up of my own to do,” Chikage waves the files in his hand, chuckling slightly. “You should get home safe, Chigasaki.”  
“Ah, you too, senpai.”

As Chikage walks off, Itaru sits back down, only to be shocked again as he hears Chikage’s footsteps suddenly stop, and turn back towards him.

“You wouldn’t want to miss the stream, wouldn’t you,  _ Taruchi _ ?”

Itaru’s back freezes up. He opens his mouth to respond to Chikage’s words -- but how the heck could someone respond to  _ that _ ?! “Hi, yes, how did you know I’ve been watching your streams, senpai?” What kind of response was  _ that _ ! And how did Chikage even know!! He barely tipped and only occasionally commented, he should have been a fly on the wall, and yet Chikage somehow managed to notice him? Jeez, he really had to work on his espionage skills.

He sighs once more, even louder than before, and picks his briefcase up.

“I’ll head back, then,” he calls, to the almost empty office, and leaves before he can hear Chikage’s response.

The train takes a longer time to come -- late night trains always do. He gets on, settles himself down, and opens Id*lmaster to play for a little in the sparsely populated train car, tapping quietly at the notes. His mind wanders, as he taps, to Chikage, and to  _ her _ . His fingers slip on the keys, and he puts his phone down, deciding just to listen to the music to block his thoughts before they escaped.

She was everything Itaru had wanted, at the time. Beautiful, sweet, with a heart of gold, and most of all, she let Itaru play games, even playing with him sometimes. She was an angel that Itaru didn’t deserve, and to this day, those four years he’d spent together with her were still the best. 

Then one day…

It wasn’t Itaru’s fault. She had made this very clear to him. Sitting, stark naked, in the lap of another man in their bedroom. It wasn’t Itaru’s fault.

But...was it? Wasn’t it his fault? How could he not have noticed her unhappiness, or that she was actually  _ sleeping  _ with someone else? How could he not have seen how stupid he was to put trust in someone  _ again _ . After what happened with Tonooka, how could he just stupidly put trust in someone because they said a few nice things to him and took care of him? What a mega-bitch.

Itaru taps at his phone, a little aggressively. He’d opened another game, but he was barely paying attention to which one it was, just mindlessly tapping away.

It was true that he’d felt joy beyond belief with her, and also the worst pain -- but now, as long as Itaru didn’t trust  _ anybody _ , he’d be fine.

Then came Chikage Utsuki.

His fingers slow, taps quietening.

Chikage Utsuki. The glorious senpai that flowered into his life seemingly out of nowhere. Who took him by the reins gracefully, and saw deep into his soul.

Who ran a camboy account that Itaru had been shamefully jacking it to.

Itaru rubs the bridge of his nose, looking up at the stops. He stands as the door opens, and heads out, walking the familiar way home. The same routine everyday -- wake up, grind in games, do dailies, go to work, have lunch with his coworkers, go back to work, go home, grind, go to sleep. He’s used to the monotony.

He clinks his keys as he opens the door, and is greeted with the empty sound of his silent house.

Banri had once told him that his house felt like a graveyard, and often joked about someone having died in his house.

He was right, though Itaru felt that maybe, with some work, he could resurrect that 'him' with some timely placed magic from either a stupid, lying mage, or perhaps...

Or perhaps, the goofy foreign man currently blowing up his in game chat.

Well, at least Itaru wasn't alone.

* * *

Kazunari’s been at the airport for three hours now.

He obviously hadn’t  _ meant  _ to come so early, he was just worried about the jam, and what if Tsuzurun’s plane landed early, and what if Kazunari got caught in an accident, or a traffic jam, and missed the time? He’d be better off going there early rather than showing up late and accidentally causing all sorts of problems…

That being said, he really is early. Tsuzuru’s plane lands soon, sure, but he has to get his bags and go through immigration, which will take another hour at least. Kazunari bounces his leg, and gets a dirty look from an old woman sitting nearby. He vows to bounce his leg a little less annoyingly, at least, looking down at his phone. He chews his lip.

What should he say when he sees Tsuzuru again? 

He and Tsuzuru had been chatting over the phone, of course, talking happily to each other, having video calls at opportune times, and sometimes falling asleep on calls together...sometimes Kazunari wakes up to see Tsuzuru asleep at his desk, which is only the most  _ adorable  _ thing he’s ever seen in his life. 

Tsuzuru...makes his heart flutter. Banri had, as well, but Tsuzuru did it in a different way. Kazunari wasn’t sure what it was back then, and he still isn’t sure now, but there was just...something about Tsuzuru that made his heart go haywire, and his pulse skyrocket. Make his vision go fuzzy, and his mind go blank. 

Kazunari had done several  _ things  _ with Tsuzuru over their many calls.

His eyes flicker to the board, just as his phone buzzes in his hand. Kazunari nearly drops it, picking it up to see the message.

[ from: tsuzurun ]  
_ I just landed. I’ll see you soon. _

He just landed? Isn’t it a bit ahead of schedule? Kazunari didn’t even know what he was going to say to Tsuzuru yet! He hadn’t prepared anything! He didn’t have flowers, or any gifts, or anything -- aaaah, he should have prepared some sort of gift for Tsuzuru before he’d left the house! He had plenty of time!

Kazunari rubs at his face, sighing loudly to himself, and getting another glare from the old woman. This was seriously embarrassing...he hoped Tsuzuru hadn’t expected anything, because he didn’t really have anything to give...he’d have to make it up to him later, which was fine, but still...what kind of boyfriend was Kazunari not to have  _ anything _ on hand…

Boyfriend, huh.

Kazunari stops freaking out for a moment to process the word, running it around in his mind. Boyfriend -- boyfriend, he’s Tsuzuru’s boyfriend…His heart stutters in his chest, and he presses his hands together, feeling all sparkly inside. He’s Tsuzuru’s  _ boyfriend _ \-- somehow, it makes him want to spin the closest person around. He’s Tsuzuru’s boyfriend! It makes him so happy that he doesn’t know how to think.

“Kazunari.”

Suddenly, a voice sounds, and Kazunari looks up from his joy filled stupor. In front of him, stands said boyfriend, Tsuzuru Minagi. He’s wearing the cat headphones around his neck, and a soft smile on his face. He’s got his bags behind him, and a heavy winter jacket, and Kazunari stands up in a rush, nearly falling over in his excitement.

He’s not sure how to speak, just taking Tsuzuru’s hands tightly. Seeing him -- seeing him makes him so happy. He’s so, so happy that it makes him giddy. He squeezes his hands, and Tsuzuru lets out a soft sigh, followed by a chuckle that’s too fond to be teasing.

“You never change, do you,” Tsuzuru says, freeing a hand.

He cups Kazunari’s face, leans forward, and kisses him.

Right there! 

In the middle of the airport!!

Kazunari feels his brain short-circuit, and then all his bodily functions shut down, holding onto Tsuzuru’s jacket as he kisses him, joy filling him like a tidal wave. He doesn’t care if he doesn’t have a present, who cares about the present, Tsuzuru is back and in his arms and he’s  _ kissing  _ him, like he doesn’t care who sees. It’s one tidal wave of joy after another, and when Tsuzuru pulls away Kazunari almost wants to pull him into another kiss.

“I’m so glad you’re back, Tsuzurun!” he says, instead, wrapping his arms tightly around him. “I missed you so so much.”  
“I missed you too,” Tsuzuru replies, surprisingly honestly. “I’m glad to be back.”

Kazunari was absolutely sure Tsuzuru would have some kind of snarky comment, or something, but this honesty catches him seriously off guard, and he feels his knees go weak again, tightening his grip on the feathers in Tsuzuru’s jacket, burying his face into his neck. He wishes Tsuzuru could stay forever, but he can’t, so Kazunari is going to make as much of the time they have together as he can.

He takes Tsuzuru’s hand, starting to pull him away.

“Let’s go home, Tsuzurun! I’ll show you my apartment!” Kazunari says, eyes bright. “And then we can have lunch at the place you like!”  
“You still remember?” Tsuzuru asks, incredulous. “It’s been years.”  
“Of course I remember ~ “ Kazunari winks at him. “If it’s to do with you, I know all kinds of things.”  
“Creepy,” Tsuzuru replies, but there’s no bite in his voice. “Then, let’s go home.”

Home.

The word sits happily in Kazunari’s chest.

“Mmhm!”


	12. chapter eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> banri and tsumugi go on another date.

It’s the lights that wake Banri up. His eyes slowly start to open, lifting a hand to shield himself from the bright sunlight. His back aches -- and there’s a weird weight on his chest. Banri blinks, a little, and looks down. 

His heart  _ jumps _ in his chest, looking down at the fluffy hair of one Tsumugi Tsukioka, cuddled in and fast asleep. His mind rushes with the memories of last night, and he relaxes in the bed, running his hand through his hair. He can barely move in this position, but he tilts his head enough to check out the clock.

“Eight, huh,” he says, quietly, and feels Tsumugi shift, cuddling closer.

_ Fuck _ , he’s so cute. Banri wishes he could see his face, but this is good enough for him. His eyes roam across Tsumugi’s body, taking in the marks he’d given him when Tsumugi had signalled his okay, apparently not caring about the stream’s thoughts, and the scratch marks on his own skin. He sighs, contentment settling down in his bones.

Tsumugi’s hair is so soft. Banri leans up, slightly, just to kiss his head, and feels Tsumugi shift again, moving off of him and onto the pillow, their faces inches apart. Tsumugi’s eyes open, still bleary and tired. Banri can’t help but lean in, kissing him in a lazy manner, as Tsumugi returns the kiss similarly, pulling the blankets over their shoulders again.

“Banri-kun,” Tsumugi says. “What time’s it…”  
“It’s eight,” Banri whispers. “You should go back to bed, Tsumugi-san.”

Being able to see his face is a blessing in and of itself. Tsumugi’s skin is soft and glows in this sunshine, and his eyes sparkle like the purest sapphires. Banri wants to kiss him again, so he does, and the smile only widens on his face as he sees Tsumugi scrunch his face up, huffing a little to himself.

“Give me a moment,” Tsumugi mumbles, shuffling in to press his head into Banri’s neck. “I’ll almost...be ready to get up, soon.”  
“Really, don’t push it.” Banri whispers. “I don’t mind staying in bed a little more.”  
“It’s breakfast time for Zabi, though,” Tsumugi yawns, and then Banri feels him stiffen slightly beside him. “...Um…maybe I will go back to bed…”  
“Tsumugi-san,” Banri whispers, wrapping his arms around his waist. “Tsumugi-san…”  
“Yes, Banri-kun…?”   
“...Talk to me. If that’s okay -- I don’t want you to carry burdens on you by yourself.”

Tsumugi’s eyes flicker up to him, and Banri meets them, cupping his face softly. It’s silent -- other than the quiet noise of the heater running, and the traffic outside. Tsumugi’s skin is smooth against his fingers, and Tsumugi leans into his touch.

“...Zabi,” Tsumugi begins, “was my dog. Well...not my dog. He was grandma and grandpa’s dog. Um...after I moved out, grandma and grandpa let me take Zabi with me, so Zabi lived with me here. Recently...Zabi died -- happily, from old age, I think, and…”

Tsumugi goes quiet, turning his head to kiss Banri’s palm softly, and Banri’s eyes soften, moving forward to kiss his forehead. He can’t help it -- Tsumugi is being so adorable, how could he stop himself from doing so?

“I guess I haven’t gotten over it, yet…?” Tsumugi puts a hand over Banri’s, feeling the warmth of his hand. “It’s silly.”  
“Not at all,” Banri replies, almost instantly. “It’s okay to be sad about your pet’s death.”  
“You’re so mature, Banri-kun…” Tsumugi leans in, kissing him softly. “Is it alright if we get up?”  
“Yeah, of course. We can do whatever you want, Tsumugi-san.”

Banri says this, but he is a little bit reluctant to get up from this wonderful atmosphere, lying comfortably in bed with Tsumugi -- but getting up with him sounds...fantastic, too. Tsumugi sits up, shivering in the cool air. He is still completely naked, and he wraps his arms around himself, letting out a little breath that cools in the air.

“...Um, Banri-kun?” Tsumugi asks.  
“Mmhm?”  
“...Are you...going to stay?” 

Tsumugi doesn’t look at him when he asks, and Banri would be worried, if he couldn’t see the blush spreading across his shoulders. A warm feeling, warmer than any heater could ever make him, spreads through Banri’s veins, and he sits up, wrapping his arms around Tsumugi from behind. He kisses his cheek, and Tsumugi makes an adorable little noise.

“I told you last night, didn’t I?” Banri reminds. “I’ll stay for as long as you want me to.”  
“You’re...you’re embarrassing,” Tsumugi says, hiding his face in his hands. “You say such sweet things to me, Banri-kun.”  
“You deserve them.” Banri pecks his ear. “I hope you don’t mind if I use the bathroom to brush my teeth and stuff.”  
“You have a toothbrush?”

It’s Banri’s turn to flush, and recognition flickers in Tsumugi’s eyes, followed by a look that’s full of laughter.

“You thought this would -- “   
“Aaaah, I’m going now.” Banri says, throwing the covers off to get his bag.

Tsumugi can’t help but laugh, watching Banri scramble around, and lets himself lie back down in bed, getting comfortable under the covers. He sighs, contentedly, and his eyes fall on the penguin and jellyfish plushies in the corner, cuddled together. Warmth fills him, and he snuggles in the blankets a little more. Banri would take a while, right? Tsumugi could sleep a little longer…

Banri returns from his routine to see Tsumugi cuddled up in the blankets, fast asleep again. It’s objectively the  _ most  _ adorable thing he’s ever seen in his life -- he looks so comfortable, and warm. He reaches out, and pets his hair softly, watching as Tsumugi rolls over onto his back to take his hand, kissing his fingers carefully -- almost reverently.

“Tsumugi-san,” Banri whispers, not sure his heart can take any more of this, “it’s your turn.”  
“Mm.” Tsumugi mumbles, holding onto his hand absentmindedly. “Banri-kun, could I…”  
“Hm?” Banri leans closer to him. “What is it?”

Tsumugi’s blush arrives on his cheeks again -- adorable, adorable, adorable. He leans closer, and Tsumugi makes another cute noise, leaning up to kiss him softly. Banri feels like a dog who’s just been petted, kissing him back as soon as possible, cupping his cheek to kiss him, again, and again.

After a few minutes, they finally pull away, and Tsumugi chuckles a little, pressing his fingers gently to his lips. 

“You taste like mints,” Tsumugi says, and Banri falls forward onto the bed, flopping over him. “B-Banri-kun?!”  
“You’re so  _ cute _ , Tsumugi-san,” Banri whines. “So cuuuute.”  
“I can’t move, Banri-kun,” Tsumugi chuckles, petting Banri’s head softly. “Let me get up, and we’ll have breakfast together?”

Banri rolls off instantly, and Tsumugi rewards him with another little kiss.

* * *

The refrigerator is empty. Tsumugi stares into the fridge, and sighs quietly to himself, rubbing the back of his neck. He’d planned to cook something nice for Banri, but with nothing even in the fridge, he can’t do anything. 

“Tsumugi-san, what’s up?” 

Banri arrives at his side, and stares with him at the very empty fridge. Tsumugi swears he can hear the sound of crickets. 

“Ahhh…” Banri blinks at the fridge, and then at Tsumugi. “Let’s go to the market, then.”  
“Eh? The market?” Tsumugi asks.

It’s a good idea. Tsumugi could go and get groceries for the meal he was going to make Banri. He could have the rice cooker running, and then buy fish and eggs and other things for a delicious breakfast.

“Ah, but I can’t have you going with me,” Tsumugi says. “I wouldn’t want to trouble you, Banri-kun.”  
“You’re not troubling me, though.” Banri replies, taking his hand. He kisses his knuckles softly. “Like I said, I want to take care of you.”

Tsumugi finds it hard to argue with something like that, the flush spreading across his face without thinking. How embarrassing — everything Banri says is embarrassing, but especially when it comes to things like this. Tsumugi never knows how to react. He turns to face him, sure his face is bright red, and leans forward to tap his forehead against Banri’s.

“Silly,” he whispers, and pulls away, moving to get his bags. “Let’s go, then. To the market.”  
“Together?” Banri asks, voice pitched up.  
“Together.”

There’s something different about the air in his house today. Tsumugi’s not sure what it is, but his shoulders feel a little lighter. He turns to the windows, pulling the curtains apart to let the light enter the room. Dust swirls around, and he sneezes, rubbing his nose. The house feels warmer, somehow. The heaters are working fine, of course, but there was just...a certain feeling that made things different. Tsumugi runs a hand through his hair, and adjusts the bag of bags over his shoulder.

His eyes travel around the room, settling on the beautiful flowers that Banri had gotten for him. He’d put them in a vase filled with water before setting out to attempt to make breakfast, and their color is vibrant compared to the dullness of his walls. Sure, he could do with a fresh coat of paint, but the flowers stand out. Their warm colors fill Tsumugi's chest, settling comfortably down in the lowest parts of his heart. 

Banri really was like the sun, wasn’t he? Coming into Tsumugi’s dark sky, letting him take a break under his light -- gentle, and bright, and a little bit intense. Tearing down Tsumugi’s walls -- he shouldn’t be able to do this so easily, and yet...

“Are you ready to go, Tsumugi-san?” Banri asks, and Tsumugi smiles at him. “What’s up?”   
“I was just thinking about something,” Tsumugi replies, holding out his hand. “Shall we go?”

Banri takes his hand, running his thumb against his skin, and squeezes, nodding. 

“Let’s go, Tsumugi-san.”

_ You’re so warm,  _ Tsumugi thinks to himself.  _ I hope that your choice of staying with me won’t ruin you… _

* * *

“Stay close, Banri-kun.”

It is 9:45 in the morning, and Banri had really thought Tsumugi was joking when he said it was going to be packed. The little market street was filled with people walking around, the hustle and bustle of activity creating a busy atmosphere. Tsumugi’s still holding onto his hand, pulling him through the crowd. 

“What are you going to buy?” Banri asks. “I can help you look out for it.”  
“Um,” Tsumugi looks down at the paper in his free hand. “Eggs...salmon sashimi, seaweed…salmon roe…”  
“Sounds like we’ll have rice bowls for breakfast.”

It comes out of his own mouth; but Banri feels something tingly rise up inside him at the sound of ‘we’. The both of them — on their own, will have a breakfast together. A little thought in the back of Banri’s mind wishes that they could do this forever. 

“Ah, hang on a second.” Tsumugi brings them to a stop, observing the fish on their right. 

To say Banri knows  _ anything  _ about fish other than the fact that they swim and have gills would be a massive overstatement. He finds himself gazing at Tsumugi as he barters with the man at the other side of the counter, and complimenting the fish’s clear eyes (what the  _ fuck  _ does that mean, why is it a big deal whether the fish’s eyes are clear or not) and squeezes his hand softly. Tsumugi would certainly be a wonderful husband, Banri finds himself thinking, and fondness continues to grow in his heart. 

He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t worried at all about what Tsumugi’s answer would be, but he’d also be lying if he said he was  _ really  _ worried. Of course, he’d love to date Tsumugi, and have him by his side, but the reality of it is that he wouldn’t mind doing  _ whatever  _ with Tsumugi — even if it’s just being friends. Tsumugi has had a pretty strong impact on his life. He’s never been a better student than he has because of him. 

“Banri-kun, what do you think?” 

Tsumugi’s holding a fish up to him. Banri blinks at Tsumugi, and then at the fish. The fish does not blink back. 

“Um,” Banri says. “Its eyes are pretty clear?”  
“Right?” Tsumugi’s eyes crinkle at the corners. “I thought so too.”

Banri breathes a sigh of relief, letting Tsumugi talk to the man at the counter, discussing packaging and all those sorts of things. He lets himself tune out, still just watching Tsumugi, as if he’s in his element amongst the bustle of the market.

A soft sound catches Banri’s attention -- it’s a little whimper. His eyes flicker around their feet, and he gets a glimpse of a brown thing running by, a little blur as it quickly moves back into the bustle of the crowd. He hums, mostly to himself, but it attracts Tsumugi’s attention.

“What is it, Banri-kun?” Tsumugi asks, and Banri shakes his head.  
“Nothing. Did you get the fish? Which bag do you want to put it in?” Banri opens up the reusable bag full of reusable bags. “There’s this one with fish on it.”  
“Oh, that one’s for vegetables. This one.”

Tsumugi removes a bag from the bag, and shows it to Banri like he somehow wants praise for it -- it’s a little foldable bag, stored in a fish-shaped pouch. Banri feels his heart burst.

“Okay, Tsumugi-san.”

He is  _ so  _ in love with him.

The fish is placed neatly in the foldable bag, and Banri insists on holding it, still holding onto his hand as they walk through the crowds. Occasionally, Tsumugi will stop and buy some produce, which he asks Banri to put in this mesh bag that he  _ knows  _ his sister also owns (also, why is it such a big deal to put produce in mesh bags? Why can’t they just go in the bag normally??) and sometimes point out cute trinkets at stalls that Banri makes mental notes of.

The whimpering...thing, still sticks in the back of Banri’s mind. What was it? It was certainly some kind of animal, but what was it doing out here in the market? It sticks with him, as they complete their round, bags filled with all the items necessary for a delicious breakfast. Banri has continued to insist on carrying them all, but only slightly regrets being unable to hold Tsumugi’s hand like this.

“Banri-kun,” Tsumugi says, holding onto his arm. “You look a little tired.”  
“Just a bit hungry.” Banri admits. “Don’t worry, Tsumugi-san. I can last until we get back.”  
“I should have bought groceries yesterday,” Tsumugi says, leaning into his side. “Now you’re not letting me carry anything.”  
“I really don’t mind, Tsumugi-s -- “  
“I’d like to hold your hand…”

Banri reluctantly hands over some bags so they can hold hands again. Damn it, he’s too good at this sort of thing! He knows exactly how to get underneath Banri’s Cool Kid defenses.

They walk by a little stall that sells jewellery, and Banri’s eyes light up slightly at the sight of it. Tsumugi squeezes his hand, looking up at the expression on his face.

“Do you want something?” Tsumugi asks, feeling a little like he’s coaxing a child. “Good morning!”  
“Good morning, Tsumugi-kun,” the old woman says, lifting a hand.  
“Ah, Konoha-san.” Tsumugi says, recognition flickering in his eyes. “Tomoe-chan isn’t with you today?”  
“No, not today.” Konoha nods. “Is this your friend?”  
“This is Banri-kun.” Tsumugi squeezes his hand. “Banri-kun, this is my good friend, Ame Konoha.”  
“Nice to meet you.” Banri bows to her, and she laughs, waving her hand.  
“Any friend of Tsumugi-kun is a friend of mine.” she says. “Banri-kun, was it? You can call me Grandma if you like. Thank you for taking care of our Tsumugi-kun.”  
“It’s my pleasure.”

Tsumugi flushes, hiking the bags up on his arm, as Konoha laughs again, patting her knee. It’s a comforting sound -- Tsumugi’s familiar with her, so he has no qualms about revealing this sort of thing to her. In fact, he’s pretty sure that Konoha was one of the first people he told when he realised that he preferred guys over girls.

“Well, go ahead and pick anything from my stall. Business has been slow today, so I’ll give you something as a present, Banri-kun.” Konoha says. “As a thank you gift.”  
“Konoha-san,” Tsumugi says, quietly. “You don’t have to do that.”  
“It’s a gift for you, too, Tsumugi-kun. Tomoe-chan has grown up so well because of you.” Konoha’s voice grows a little distant, then. “Those rumors are nasty.”  
“Ah, can we -- not talk about that.”  
“Of course, of course. Sometimes I forget myself. Banri-kun, have you decided on something?”

Banri’s giving Tsumugi a strange look. Tsumugi can tell what kind of look it is instantly -- he wants to ask, but he knows he shouldn’t. He’s about to open his mouth to explain, to laugh the situation off, when he feels Banri lift his hand, and turn him around. Banri’s hand leaves him, only for the feeling of a necklace being tied around his neck to arrive. Banri’s hands are soft against the nape of his neck, tying a neat knot, and turning him back around.

“Mm,” Banri says. “As I thought. Grandma, it looks good on him, right?”  
“Aah, Banri-kun,” Konoha says. “You have a very good eye. The bracelet you’re holding fits with that too, you know.”  
“I know,” Banri says, putting it on his own wrist. “How much are they?”  
“Don’t pay me, I said it was a gift.”  
“But Grandma -- “

Tsumugi’s heart skips a beat, looking down at the necklace that Banri had given to him. It’s not a particularly fancy necklace -- not made of gold, or silver, or anything like that -- it’s a necklace made with black string and blue beads, interspersed with smaller silver beads. It’s made with love -- Tsumugi can tell that at first sight, but it’s nothing compared to the care Banri had when putting it on him. The bracelet that Banri’s wearing is made of the same material, and one can tell at a glance that they’re matching.

It...makes Tsumugi want to cry. The care that Banri places on him, and the feeling of belonging somewhere -- the feeling that Banri’s showing off that the both of them are associated with each other, in this neighborhood where rumors spread like wildfire, in front of one of the ladies who had raised Tsumugi since he was little -- that feeling is like no other.

“Tsumugi-san,” Banri says, cupping his face gently. “Are you crying?”  
“Sorry,” Tsumugi replies, sniffing. “I’m happy.”  
“I’m glad,” Banri glances around, and then leans forward to kiss his forehead softly. “Let’s go home. Thank you, Grandma.”  
“Thank you, Banri-kun.” Konoha says. “Tsumugi-kun, take care of yourself, okay? Come tutor Tomoe-chan again sometimes.”  
“I will,” Tsumugi replies, voice a little wet. “Thank you, Konoha-san.”

If life was like this every day, Tsumugi was sure he’d live the happiest life ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY NEW YEARS EVE!!! i hope you all have a good one ;3c


	13. chapter twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> banri experiences...some pleasures of his own.

“Hey, Banri-kun -- !”

Banri picks the knife (carefully, mind you,) from Tsumugi’s hand, looking down at the fish on the counter. He sets it down, turning to face Tsumugi, who’s pouting at him. The sun continues to shine through the window, lighting the room up with its shine.

“Let me do it,” Banri says, smiling at him. “Tsumugi-san, you went and bought everything. I’ll handle the cooking.”  
“You…” Tsumugi huffs, adorably. “I’ll do something else, then.”  
“No, just sit down, Tsumugi-san! I’ll handle it.”

Tsumugi makes another frustrated sounding noise that makes Banri grin like a fool, starting to prepare the fish. He feels a pressure on his arm, and looks over to see Tsumugi pressing his head into his shoulder, huffing just a little more. It’s incredibly cute -- quite like a puppy vying for attention. He’s annoyed because Banri isn’t letting him do anything.

“Bend down,” Tsumugi mumbles into the fabric of his sweater.   
“Oh, uh...okay?”

Banri does as he’s told, setting the knife down to bend down a little. Tsumugi pets his head, running his fingers gently through his hair, and the smile on his face is just a little bit mischievous. (Not that Banri can see it, he’s too busy bending over. Haha.)

“Thank you, Banri-kun. Good boy.”

Banri feels what he can best describe as a wave of fire crash through his system, and his throat goes instantly very dry. He’s not sure  _ what  _ it is, but for some reason, hearing those kinds of sweet things from Tsumugi is...well, he’s not sure. It’s only when Tsumugi leaves the kitchen area that he straightens, face warm all over. What the hell was that…?

Tsumugi lets out a soft sigh, continuing to gently pet his hair, before pulling away. Banri swallows, hard, to get any form of moisture in his very dry throat.

"What was that about?" Banri asks, giving Tsumugi what, he thinks, at least, is an incredulous look.  
"You're being so nice to me as usual," Tsumugi replies with a soft smile. "I just wanted to say thank you."  
"You don't have to say these sort of things, Tsumugi-san," Banri laughs, and watches as Tsumugi saunters carefully out of the kitchen again.

Banri shakes his head, sighing to himself as he picks the knife up again, returning to the fish in front of him. God, he really has to stop thinking about these kinds of things when he’s cooking. He’s going to cut himself one of these days. He slices the fish, letting his mind wander slightly. Banri can’t help but wonder what it would be like for Tsumugi to say more nice things to him. Telling him he’s doing good, or that he’s a good boy...Patting his head would be nice, too… Or maybe, pressing him into the sheets as he --

“Ow!” 

Fuck, he’s bleeding. Banri sets the knife down, moving quickly over to the sink to rinse his finger off. It’s only a nick -- he hadn’t cut himself too badly, which is a relief, but he mentally curses himself.

“Banri-kun, are you -- oh no!”

Tsumugi hurries over, peering around him at his hand, seeming to relax at the sight of the wound. 

“It isn’t serious, but I’ll get you a plaster.” he says. “Maybe you should let me handle the cutting, Banri-kun.”

Tsumugi’s tone carries a little bit of teasing, and Banri huffs to himself, but nods anyway, letting Tsumugi do as he wishes. Seriously, he doesn’t know what he’s thinking right now -- he needs to be careful when cutting things, or else he’s seriously going to get into trouble. The thought sticks with him, though -- Tsumugi whispering praises into his ear, as he -- as he -- 

Banri hasn’t thought about bottoming before. It’s a pride kind of thing, he figures -- as a guy, he figures that he should naturally be the one topping. With Tsumugi, since they’re both guys, and Tsumugi doesn’t stream himself fucking things too much, he hasn’t really thought about it... but to say he  _ hasn’t  _ thought of it is a lie. He’s spent some nights putting things up there, but he had never really been sure what he was supposed to be feeling.

Maybe Tsumugi could help him?

He’s seen porn of it -- the tops stretching their bottoms open with slow fingers -- Banri swallows, shutting the tap off.

“Banri-kun, here.” Tsumugi returns, a towel, some cream, and a bandage in his hand. “Let me do it for you.”  
“You don’t have to, Tsumugi-san -- “ Banri begins, but if Tsumugi hears him, he doesn’t show it, quietly wiping down his hand and applying the cream.

He puts the bandage on -- it’s a cute bright blue bandage -- and lifts his finger up, kissing the wound. Tsumugi’s eyes turn sharp, then, an expression that sends Banri reeling, and he gently sticks his tongue out, licking the pad of Banri’s finger, tongue curling around the tip before pulling away, smiling angelically. And as if nothing happened, he applies the cream generously to his fingertip, and the bandage right after.

"Let me deal with breakfast," Tsumugi says, "and after it, we can do..._other _things."

Banri is very much on board for ‘other things’.

* * *

“Thank you for the food.”

Tsumugi sets his chopsticks down, pressing his palms together gently. Across the table, Tsumugi can tell Banri’s fidgeting, not meeting his eyes. A smile spreads across Tsumugi’s face, and he moves his leg under the table, pushing his foot against Banri’s shin.

“So,” Tsumugi says, lifting his gaze to meet Banri’s. “How’s your finger?”  
“Oh, um.” Banri blinks. “It’s fine. Thanks for the care, Tsumugi-san.”  
“It’s really nothing.” Tsumugi’s smile is saccharine. “It was only a bandage.”  
“Ah, yeah, but. Um, but still.” 

Banri’s clearly distracted. Tsumugi wonders whether it’s the fact he’s running his foot up Banri’s shin, resting it against his knee. It’s really not like Tsumugi to be as active as this, but he can’t help it -- Banri’s adorable. His cute reaction to Tsumugi’s praise -- he hadn’t expected that Banri would react in that way to that kind of thing. How adorable. He wants to see more and more reactions from him.

“How’d you cut yourself?” Tsumugi asks, and Banri blanches. “Banri-kun?”  
“Just got distracted,” Banri mumbles. “It was an accident.”  
“What...was distracting you?” Tsumugi tilts his head. “Tell me about it.”

Tsumugi’s foot moves up, pulling his chair a little closer so he’s a little easier to reach. He watches Banri’s face, the flush that starts to spread across his cheeks, and the way he tenses up as Tsumugi teases him. It’s so, so cute. He leans a little closer across the table, eyes still soft.

“Tsumugi-san,” Banri whines, covering his face. “It’s embarrassing.”  
“I’m not going to make fun of you.” Tsumugi’s voice goes even fonder. “You can tell me.”

Banri knows Tsumugi isn’t going to make fun of him, but with things like this -- Banri doesn’t even know how to tell it to  _ himself _ . 

“Banri-kun,” Tsumugi says, and Banri buries his face in his hands more.  
“Tsumugi-san, your foot,” Banri says. “It’s embarrassing, but. I. I….”  
“You?” Tsumugi does not move his foot, pressing against his crotch at this point. He  _ knows _ , but he wants Banri to say it.  
“I want to have sex,” Banri blurts out. “Please.”

Tsumugi’s ears light up with red. Despite him...kind of initiating, hearing it just  _ said  _ is...a little bit embarrassing. Banri blinks at him, and then he shuffles back, standing in order to _yeet_ himself out of the closet window, when Tsumugi stands, as well, that same too-sweet smile crossing over his face.

“Okay, Banri-kun,” he says. “Let’s have sex.”

He holds his hand out, and Banri takes it, worry echoing through his mind. He feels like...today is going to be a little bit different. They’d just had sex yesterday, and while it was honestly the best sex he’d ever had in his life, this...felt different. In what way, he wasn’t entirely sure, yet. Tsumugi squeezes his hand, and leads him back to the bedroom. They’d left the door open to air the room out a little, and the sheets are still ruffled and stained from last night, but the image carries an oddly...comfortable feeling. 

A feeling Banri wouldn't mind coming back to again and again.

“Banri-kun,” Tsumugi says. “Could we try something?”  
“Huh? Of course.” Banri replies. “What do you want to do?”

Instead of responding, Tsumugi turns, suddenly, and takes Banri’s shirt in his hands, pulling him down into a kiss. It’s a kiss that’s both painful and passionate at the same time -- Tsumugi’s teeth gently biting into his lip, and holding tightly onto him. Banri feels himself melt into Tsumugi’s grip, letting Tsumugi maneuver him as needed, pushing him back onto the bed. Not breaking the kiss, Tsumugi moves onto his lap, wrinkling his shirt with his hold. 

“Banri-kun,” Tsumugi says, breathless. “Let me top you.”  
“Yes, please,” Banri replies, staring up at him. 

With that little word of consent -- the ‘please’, somehow, gets to Tsumugi more than anything else -- Tsumugi slots their lips together again, working his hands underneath Banri’s shirt, pulling at it. Banri’s surprisingly pliant, letting him pull away to pull his shirt off. Tsumugi pulls away, staring at him -- the marks he’d left on Banri hasn’t faded yet, the bites, hickeys, scratches -- it...turns Tsumugi on more than he expected. He swallows.

“Banri-kun…” Tsumugi says, and then hums. “No...Banri.”  
“T-Tsumugi-s-san…?” Banri’s a whole mess. “Yes…?”  
“Good boy,” Tsumugi cups his cheek, sitting back on his lap. “You respond so quickly. Good ~ “

As expected, Banri goes a wonderful shade of red, and from where Tsumugi’s sitting, he can feel Banri harden against him. He really can’t stop himself from smiling, lifting his other hand from where it is to trace a finger over Banri’s lips, before leaning in to kiss him softly.

“Banri-kun, you’re a good boy, huh?” Tsumugi asks, and listens to Banri’s hum. “When I get off of your lap, you’re going to be good, right? No touching?”

Banri’s blinking at him like a deer caught in headlights. It’s interesting for Tsumugi, to see someone who’s normally as cool as Banri, looking like a little lost puppy, obedient and sweet. He runs his fingers down Banri’s jaw, and tilts his head up, sinking his teeth into Banri’s neck gently, hearing his gasp. Tsumugi’s tongue traces the marks of his teeth, and he pulls away, kissing Banri one last time before getting off of him. As expected, Banri stays in place, hands curling slightly into the sheets.

“Let’s get your pants off,” Tsumugi says, feeling a little breathless with the power he held over him. “You just lie there, Banri-kun. I want to take care of you, too.”  
“Tsumugi-san,” Banri whispers, like it’s the only thing he knows how to say.

Tsumugi’s smile is so soft, pulling down Banri’s sweatpants and neatly folding them, setting them out of the way as he strips Banri bare, both physically and mentally. Banri’s not sure what it is, but a mix of the praise and the kisses and the grinding has made him into a little bit of a hot mess, unable to tear his eyes away from Tsumugi, as he presses a soft kiss to the head of his cock. 

“Get on your hands and knees, Banri-kun,” Tsumugi instructs, and Banri feels himself moving unconsciously, getting into position. “Good...you’re doing so well. Is it comfortable?”

Banri’s cock twitches at the praise, his mind a little fuzzy. He adjusts himself a little so he’s supporting less weight on his hands, lowering his upper body to the sheets. 

“I’m good,” he says, after a bit.   
“Good.” Tsumugi runs his hand slowly down Banri’s spine, making him shiver. “Stay still for me.”

Not being able to see him makes Banri a tiny bit nervous, but he trusts Tsumugi. He holds onto the sheets, feeling Tsumugi settle himself behind him, kissing down his spine, and skipping past his entrance and cock, kissing his thighs softly. He drags his tongue up his inner thigh, and moves to press his lips faintly to the length of Banri’s cock, making him moan, precum spilling from the tip onto the sheets. Banri’s about to beg Tsumugi for more when he feels a warmth press against his entrance that  _ does not  _ feel like fingers. 

A moan tears itself from his lips as Tsumugi starts to lick at him, movements careful and smooth, as if he’s had practice. Banri feels like he’s been lifted to heaven, somehow, clutching tighter to the sheets as Tsumugi continues teasing, running the tip of his tongue around his pucker, pressing slightly as if going to push in, but not exactly. It drives Banri crazy -- he never thought he’d say this, but he wants something inside of him  _ so _ badly.

“T-Tsumugi-san,” Banri whispers, feeling drool start to drip down his chin. “Please,”  
“Hnn.” Tsumugi responds, holding his thighs. “Does my good Banri-kun want something inside him?”  
“Please, please,” Banri feels frantic. “Please, I need it.”  
“So polite.” Tsumugi sounds amused. “Okay, since you’re being so good for me.”

The warmth that was teasing him now pushes in -- very slowly, carefully. Banri’s unpracticed, and it feels kind of weird, but it hits a spot deep inside of him that he never knew he had, feeling Tsumugi’s tongue carefully move in and out of him. He whimpers, biting onto the sheets, and Tsumugi chuckles slightly, Banri feeling the vibrations from it inside of him. He gasps.

“Nnh, more,” Banri says, unsure what it is. “Deeper.”

Tsumugi pulls away, presumably to answer, but Banri whines at the loss anyway. Tsumugi’s laughter is angelic, despite the situation.

“Okay, Banri-kun. Let me get the lube.” Tsumugi says, kissing his entrance gently. “Good boy. Stay, okay?”

Banri feels like whining, but he doesn’t, holding onto the sheets as Tsumugi moves away from him. This felt...just as good as fucking Tsumugi, and Banri can’t help but feel a little bit overjoyed about the fact that he seems to be pleasuring Tsumugi in this way, too. He hopes he is, at least -- admittedly, he knows how good it feels to be inside of Tsumugi, so. He adjusts his position, slightly, widening his legs for Tsumugi. It takes him a little bit, and Banri relaxes onto the sheets. They’d really have to clean this up later.

“Okay, Banri-kun.” Tsumugi says. “Are you with me?”  
“Right here, Tsumugi-san.” Banri mumbles. “Feeling pretty comfortable.”  
“Hehe.” Tsumugi leans over to kiss his cheek, which makes Banri smile. “I’m going to lube up and then we’ll go slow, okay?”  
“Mmm. Okay.” Banri’s settled down a bit, but he figures once Tsumugi gets a finger inside him, he’ll get desperate for more again.   
“Okay. Here goes.”

The cap of the lubricant snaps shut, and Banri can feel the wetness of Tsumugi’s finger rubbing around his entrance, before slowly sliding in -- one finger, carefully. It moves past the area that Tsumugi’s stretched with his tongue, deeper in, and Banri tenses up, something that sounds oddly like a mewl of pleasure coming out from him.

“How is it?” Tsumugi asks, once he’s stopped moving.

Banri clenches around him, not sure what he’s thinking yet. It’s deep, and it feels weird, but it feels good, too. He tightens again, before relaxing more, sucking in a deep breath.

“Weird,” Banri says, honestly, “but good. I like it.”  
“Good,” Tsumugi kisses his spine. “Good boy. I’ll move?”  
“Mmkay.”

Tsumugi’s true to his word, finger slowly pulling out until only the tip is left inside, and then pushing in just as slowly, carefully thrusting in and out of him. Banri wriggles a bit, feeling precum start to leak from his cock again. He wants to ask for more, but he’s not exactly sure he can take it just yet. He wants to look at Tsumugi, but can’t, settled in this position on the bed.

“Next one is going in,” Tsumugi says, after a bit.   
“Okay,” Banri replies.

Tsumugi pushes the second finger in simultaneously with the first, in one slow down-stroke inside him. The stretch feels good -- Banri moans, feeling Tsumugi slowly separate his fingers inside of him, and curling against his walls. As Tsumugi curls his fingers, a jolt of pleasure goes down Banri’s spine, and he cries out, surprised. 

“So it’s there,” Tsumugi says, and presses the spot again. Banri moans again, loudly. “Banri-kun, how do you feel?”   
“Good, it feels good,” Banri replies, head reeling. “Oh -- there, more, please…”  
“I’m going to put another finger in,” Tsumugi starts to pull his fingers out as he speaks. “And then...once you’re stretched enough…”

As he pulls his fingers out, Banri finds himself tightening down on them, as if he doesn’t want them to leave him. It felt incredible when Tsumugi had pressed that place inside of him -- honestly, he figured it was the prostate, but he’d never felt that kind of pleasure before. He shuffles a bit more on the bed, hearing the sound of the lube click open and close, before three fingers start pushing in. It’s good -- mind-blankingly so, as Banri holds tighter to the sheets.

“You’re doing so well for me,” Tsumugi praises. “Good boy, precious Banri…”  
“Tsumugi,” Banri moans, as if reverently praying. “So good…”  
“I know.”

And Tsumugi does know, Banri realises. He’s had things inside him much more than Banri has.

The slow rock of Tsumugi’s fingers inside of him lulls Banri into a false sense of security, hips moving back against his fingers unconsciously. He’s relaxed, and he wants Tsumugi to fuck him, and -- Tsumugi’s fingers press against that spot and a spurt of precum comes out onto the sheets as Banri yells in surprise.

“You like that quite a lot,” Tsumugi observes, as if he was saying ‘The sky is clear today.’ “I think you’re almost ready.”  
“Hurry up,” Banri says, rocking his hips back more. “Tsumugi, please…”  
“Soon,” Tsumugi whispers, kissing down the length of his cock.

His fingers continue to move inside him, even as Tsumugi traces his tongue up and down Banri’s cock, lapping gently at the fluid coming from the tip. He shuffles, fingers turning inside of him, and sucks the tip of his cock into his mouth. Banri’s hips don’t know how to move -- down into Tsumugi’s mouth, or back against his fingers.

“Tsu -- Tsumugi,” he moans, jolting. “Tsumugi, come -- come on, please -- “  
“Just a little more,” Tsumugi mumbles, around his  _ cock _ . “A little more, Banri. Don’t come.”

_ Don’t come?!  _ What kind of hellish request was this? Banri was already teetering on the edge. He huffs, sucking in all the power he had not to. Maybe this was punishment for not letting Tsumugi come on stream sometimes? Banri was shaking -- this was a lot harder than Tsumugi had made it seem.

With a wet noise, Tsumugi pulls away, licking his lips. Banri lets a sigh of relief out, legs still shaking from the effort he’d put in not to come. The sound of a drawer opening, and then closing, echoes in the quiet room, before the rustle of clothes.

“Are you...gonna fuck me, now?” Banri asks. “Tsumugi…”  
“Mmhm.” Tsumugi opens the lube again. “I’ll go slow. Fingers are different from dicks.”

Banri snorts at the sound of Tsumugi saying ‘dick’. He’s unsure why it’s so funny, when Tsumugi says things like ‘cock’ all the time.

“What’s so funny?” Tsumugi asks, biting his ear gently. “Could it be ‘dick’?”   
“Ahahaha, stop that -- “ Banri says, waving his hand back at him. “Stop -- “  
“Dick.” Tsumugi says again, and Banri laughs, reaching over for the nearest pillow. “Ah, wait, Banri-kun, don’t do that.”

Banri glances at him as Tsumugi pushes the pillow away from him.

“I want to hear you.” Tsumugi says.

It sounds completely innocent, but Banri wishes he had the pillow with him now, wanting to bury his face back into it. He hears the sound of a condom wrapper ripping, and thinks, for a second, what it would be like if Tsumugi came inside him…

Behind him, Tsumugi settles into position, and adjusts to position his cock at his entrance. He rubs the head of it against Banri, before starting to push in.

Tsumugi was right. Fingers were different from dicks. Banri breathes out, holding onto the sheets as Tsumugi slowly pushes in, each little bit stretching Banri more and more, his mind muddling as Tsumugi stops, finally.

“Banri-kun,” Tsumugi whispers, almost silent. “Are you alright?”   
“I’m okay,” Banri replies, wheezing. “Just...um, give me a sec.”  
“Take all the time you need.” 

Banri’s not sure this is something he can just get used to. Having something up inside of him is really odd -- it feels wrong, slightly, but it also feels good. He wrestles with the idea of it, while trying to relax. Tsumugi’s running his hands up and down his thighs, as if trying to soothe him, leaning forward to kiss his neck. Banri makes a weird sound as Tsumugi bends down to do so, feeling the angle of the cock inside him change slightly.

“Mm,” Banri mumbles, waving his hand. “Tsumugi-san, ‘m ready.”  
“Okay.” Tsumugi replies, kissing his neck again.

Slowly, Tsumugi pulls out, and pushes back in, and Banri’s world explodes into color.

“Ohhhh, holy fuck.” Banri moans, back arching against him. “Ohh, fuck.”  
“Banri-kun, are you enjoying yourself?” Tsumugi sounds teasing. Banri can barely hear him through the blood rushing through his ears. “It feels good?”  
“So good,” Banri manages to say. “So so good.”  
“I’m glad ~ “

Tsumugi keeps his pace steady, rolling his hips into him slowly. Every thrust reaches deep inside of him, brushing gently past that little spot inside him that makes his eyes roll back. Tsumugi’s hands are tight on Banri’s hips, occasionally tugging him back to meet his hips, which makes him cry out. Tsumugi’s cock digs into his prostate, and he mewls, tightening around him.

“Ah, this angle,” Tsumugi says. “Got it ~ “  
“Eh -- “

Suddenly, Tsumugi’s thrusts start to speed up, as if pounding him into the bed. Each press of Tsumugi’s cock inside him pushes hard against his prostate, which sends stars flying in Banri’s vision, feeling Tsumugi pull him back against his hips, fucking him harder. Banri’s breath comes heavier and heavier, gasping Tsumugi’s name out.

“Tsumugi -- san -- I’m going...to -- “ Banri rasps. “I’m going to -- to -- !”  
“Come on, my good boy,” Tsumugi whispers. “Come for me.”  
“Ah -- Aah -- “

Banri feels himself release right onto the sheets, creating another puddle of liquid, and Tsumugi pushes hard into him, as if he’s coming himself. Banri really, really, wishes that Tsumugi could have come inside, but...there was plenty of time for that. He swallows, gasping deeper breaths as Tsumugi continues to fuck him, riding out both of their orgasms.

“Haah -- aah -- “   
“Banri...kun…” Tsumugi mumbles, kissing Banri’s ear. “Good boy...you did so well.”

Banri wonders, if he had the capacity to get hard right now, whether he’d do so. He settles, comfortable, and lets himself drift off into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> today was kind of a smut chapter huh.......
> 
> talk to me about ddau @hiiroamagi_ !!


	14. chapter thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a little fluffy surprise reveals itself...

Tsumugi brushes Banri’s hair away from his face, fingers gentle against his skin. He’s still fast asleep, and naked, curled up comfortably on the clean sheets, under his blankets. Watching him feels almost wrong, but Tsumugi tells himself that he’s technically allowed to watch Banri as he sleeps. (As weird as it sounds, it’s not exactly bad to watch someone right after you’ve had sex with them, right?) 

A smile crosses over his face, watching Banri’s calm face in his rest. He looks relaxed -- not that Banri doesn’t normally look relaxed being with him, but even more relaxed than usual. The sun is still high in the sky, and there’s plenty more of the day to go, but a nap might do Banri well, especially if...this was going to happen again, later.

Tsumugi decides he doesn’t mind always having sex, if it’s with Banri.

Unlike the fast asleep Banri, however, Tsumugi has a lot of energy left in him. He glances at the clock, and decides he could make a quick supply run and get some nice things for their lunch. His eyes flicker back to Banri, and he leans down, kissing his forehead in what is only a slight brush of his lips against his skin, not wanting to wake him up. 

He’d send a text, just in case Banri woke up wondering where Tsumugi had gone.

Slowly, he gets out of bed, stretches out, and pulls on his clothes, careful to make them seem as unruffled as possible. Wrinkled clothing was hard to explain to the shop owners, not that they really seemed to care. (But Tsumugi knew they were talking about him behind his back, anyway.)

“See you later, Banri-kun,” Tsumugi whispers, and starts to head out.

He’s plugged his headphones in, making his way down the familiar paths to the shop he often frequented, even in his childhood. It’s a good place, comfortable and warm, even after so long, the nostalgia of the store still sits right with Tsumugi. The bell rings open, and Tsumugi turns the song off, pushing his phone into his pocket.

“Ah, Tsukioka-san,” the man at the cash register says. “You’re back again.”  
“Sorry,” Tsumugi says, not sure why he’s apologising. “I have a friend over today, so I need to get a little more food than usual.”  
“Ah, a friend, huh. Take your time, Tsukioka-san.”

Tsumugi already knows what’s going through the man’s head, but he picks out bento boxes and snacks quietly, scanning over ingredients that he thinks Banri will like. Perhaps something spicy? Would Banri like that sort of thing? His phone vibrates in his pocket, and Tsumugi, balancing bento boxes in one arm, picks his phone up to check the message.

[ from: Ta-chan ]  
_ tsumu, are you doing okay? never heard back from you after that date. _

Ah, he’s worried. Tsumugi chuckles to himself.

[ from: Tsumu ]  
_ I’m all good. I had a bit of a busy night last night, so. _

[ from: Ta-chan ]  
_ oh don’t tell me  
_ _ you and him already…? _

[ from: Tsumu ]  
_ Twice, actually. :) _

[ from: Ta-chan ]  
_ jeez.  
_ _ oi, you’re being careful, right. this isn’t like before, right. _

Tsumugi’s grip tightens ever so slightly on his phone.

[ from: Tsumu ]  
_ No. It’s not like that. _

When pressing send, he chews on his bottom lip.  _ Was  _ this like that? Thinking about it, he wasn’t really sure. Banri says such sweet things to him, and treats him like...like he's precious, but Tsumugi wasn’t sure. Banri is so genuine, and kind, and Tsumugi knows, he knows that thinking about these kinds of things is wrong of him, because Banri doesn’t deserve this, but still -- ! 

But still...he worries, about whether it’s going to be like that again.

“Hey, Tsukioka-san.” the man calls. “Are you going to pay or not. I’m sure you have enough money on you. You calling someone?”  
“Ah, my apologies!”

Things haven’t changed, after all.

“Thank you.” 

Tsumugi takes the bag, hiking it over his shoulder as he starts on his way home. His phone buzzes, and he looks down at his phone, a smile inadvertently making its way onto his face when he sees who it’s from.

[ from: Banri-kun ]  
_ missed you when i woke up  
_ _ stay safe on your way back _

He can’t help it. Even if it’s not a real type of love, Tsumugi wants to indulge himself in the lie of it for a little longer, if that’s alright with everyone involved. His thumbs fly over the keyboard, wanting to respond as fast as possible.

[ from: tsumugi-san ]  
_ I’m on my way back now. I hope you’re hungry. _

[ from: Banri-kun ]  
_ starving. lmao  
_ _ see u then <3 _

Tsumugi’s traitorous heart does a flip in his chest.

[ from: tsumugi-san ]  
_ <3 _

He tucks his phone back into his back, and continues on his walk, heart beating in his ears. Indulging in this time was fine, right? If Banri was going to leave him, it would hurt, but there was a chance he wouldn’t, right…? 

(Who was he kidding.)

A bush besides him starts to rustle, and Tsumugi nearly jumps out of his skin, clutching his bag close to his chest, eyes moving to the greenery next to him. The leaves shake, and a wet nose pokes out between the shrubbery, followed by brown fur, and two dark black eyes. 

The bento boxes nearly fall out of Tsumugi’s hands.

“Woof.”

The puppy escapes from the bush, coming up to Tsumugi’s feet. It wags its tail at him, albeit a little weakly. Tsumugi, instantly charmed, squats down, patting the dog’s head gently. As it barks and nuzzles its head into his palm, Tsumugi feels a little bit of the weight on his shoulders disappear, feeling the dog lick his palm. Its teeth clench onto his sleeve, and tug.

“Ah, hang on a second,” Tsumugi says, but doesn’t have the heart to pull away, letting the puppy tug him along. “Where are we going, sweet thing?”  
“Woff!”

The dog tugs him a little further, and disappears into a nearby bush. Tsumugi feels obligated to stand there, so he does, peering down at the bush. It’s getting cold out, and Tsumugi wonders if the dogs are staying warm out here. He’d have to take this one home, though -- it was so adorable.

Soon enough, the little black nose pops out, followed by another, notably thinner puppy with matted black fur. Tsumugi’s heart tugs in his chest, leaning down to scoop the two dogs up.

He might have to make Banri wait a little longer. He’d send a text his way, though -- that was the least he could do, at least.

* * *

[ from: tsumugi-san ]  
_ Sorry emergency   
_ _ Meet me at the vet _

Banri blinks down at his phone.

[ from: Banri-kun ]  
_ are you ok? im coming _

It’s a little odd, and Banri’s stomach is still grumbling, but he figures that if this is something important enough for Tsumugi not to use proper punctuation, he should go and be part of whatever’s happening. He grabs a bag, and his phone, and heads out the door, following the map’s instructions to the vet. 

It’s not far, but Banri doesn’t know this neighborhood very well. He traces and retraces his paths, feeling awfully bad for getting lost so easily, but finally, he arrives at the vet.

_ Dr. Fushimi’s Animal Centre. _

Banri pushes the door open, and there’s suddenly a weight in his arms. Automatically, he wraps his arms around Tsumugi, who holds on a little tighter to him. 

“Tsumugi-san?” Banri asks, quietly. “What’s wrong?”   
“Found some puppies. They’re really malnourished.” Tsumugi’s voice is small against his shoulders. “Fushimi-sensei is taking care of them right now, but...I don’t know if…”  
“Hey.” Banri holds him a little closer, touching his hair gently. “It’s okay. Don’t worry, Tsumugi-san. They’ll be okay.”  
“Mm.” Tsumugi grips onto him. “Mmhm. They’re gonna be okay.”   
“Yeah. Yeah, don’t worry, okay?”

Banri gently moves them over to the closest chair, sitting down with Tsumugi, who’s half in his lap, holding the cold bento boxes in his own lap, an arm still wrapped around Banri’s shoulders. Banri squeezes him, looking up at Tsumugi. He looks a little worried, and slightly drained -- but Banri can tell it’s not just from the puppies. He reaches up, cupping his cheek gently, and rubs his thumb softly underneath his eye.

"Whoo," Tsumugi says, and Banri glances at him. "Sorry, I panicked a little. Did I worry you, Banri-kun?"  
“Not at all.” Banri replies, not entirely honestly. “I’m just a little hungry.”  
“Haha. Sorry about that.” Tsumugi presses into him a little more. “Thanks for coming.”  
“Obviously.” Banri can’t help but kiss his forehead gently. “Things are going to be okay.”  
“I see that Tsumugi-san is still worried as ever,” comes a different voice, and both Banri and Tsumugi’s eyes snap up to the newcomer.  
“Omi-kun,” Tsumugi says, voice a little more relaxed. 

Omi is  _ tall _ . It’s the first thing that Banri notices -- he’s tall, and well built. He looks nothing like a typical vet should be, not that Banri knows  _ anything  _ about how a typical vet should look like, but the aura that emanates from him is incredibly friendly. He holds a clipboard in his hand, and wears a nice looking coat. Banri can't help but picture him with a big golden retriever, and somehow, the picture aligns in his mind.

“The puppies are fine,” Omi says. “They’re both malnourished, but it’s nothing that a couple of good meals can’t fix. Do you plan to take them in, Tsumugi-san?”   
“If it’s possible,” Tsumugi replies, shifting on Banri’s lap in a way that totally doesn’t make Banri want to die. “Are they chipped?”   
“They’re both strays.” Omi’s voice goes a little softer, though. “But, Tsumugi-san, are you going to be alright taking care of both of them by yourself? We could always put one in our adoption centre.”  
“I’ll help him,” Banri pipes up, and Omi looks at him as if he’s just noticed he’s there. “If that’s okay.”  
“Banri-kun, are you sure?” Tsumugi asks. “Taking care of a dog isn’t like...um, for lack of a better term, getting a new toy.”  
“I know,” Banri replies. “I’ll do research, and you can help me, right?”

Tsumugi chews on his lower lip, thinking. Banri wraps his arms around Tsumugi’s waist, letting him take his time to think. He’d love to help Tsumugi out, but only if he wanted him to. There was no use in pushing something that Tsumugi didn’t want help with, after all.

“Okay,” Tsumugi says, looking at Banri. “Let’s take them in, Omi-kun.”

* * *

**NEO: ** and thats how i got a dog  
**taruchi: ** for real? what the fuck  
**NEO: ** yea not gonna lie to you i was kinda surprised too  
**taruchi: ** do you even know how to care for a dog???

Banri glances over at Dog -- the puppy’s name, for the time being, until he could think of something better, and it pads around on his bed, chewing at one of his pillows. He blinks at the brown dog, its tail wagging excitedly.

**NEO: ** uhhhh tsumugi-san gave me some pointers  
**NEO: ** it’s kinda just biting my pillows right now  
**taruchi: ** Um,  
**taruchi: ** tell it to stop wwwww  
**NEO: ** yeah, yeah

“Dog, c’mere.”

Responding, (holy shit, the dog responds to its name) Dog struts over, putting its little legs onto his chair.

Seeing the dog...makes Banri think of Tsumugi, somewhat. It’s small, and cute, and has these adorable eyes. He lifts the puppy into his lap, settling it there, and turns back to his computer, feeling Dog move around until it finds a nice seat to settle, curling comfortably up. 

**taruchi: ** so are you coming tonight  
**NEO: ** to what  
**taruchi: ** banrikun……………….  
**NEO: ** what?? lol  
**taruchi: ** i invited you to the mixer like last week and you said you were coming. you have to come, i promised you’d be there  
**NEO: ** hah????? what kind of mixer????  
**taruchi: ** its not a work one dont worry. its more people who play kniroun just hanging out.  
**NEO: ** oh

Banri looks down at the dog in his lap, noting that it has decided to fall asleep, curled up in a little ball, and gives it a tentative stroke, fingers running down the soft fur. It’s really, really cute -- and then the dog bites his finger. It’s not painful, but it’s kind of ticklish. He scritches the dog’s jaw until it lets go, barking gently at him.

“I’d have to drop you at Tsumugi-san’s, huh,” Banri says, and the dog wags its tail. “It’s not a bad option...I could drop you at Tsumugi-san’s house, go to the meetup, and then come back to his place and stay the night…”  
“Woof!” Dog barks.  
“Yeah...it’s not a bad plan of action.” Banri stretches out.

**NEO: ** what time  
**taruchi: ** banri-kun  
**NEO: ** what. i’m coming  
**taruchi: ** i know, i’m actually surprised  
**taruchi: ** i bet you thought of some way to go sneak off and see your boyfriend wwww  
**NEO: ** he’s not my boyfriend  
**NEO: ** ...yet. hopefully  
**taruchi: ** god i feel fucking old  
**taruchi: ** 7.30 tonight. meet me at the station  
**NEO: ** yessir

Dog woofs in his arms, and Banri can’t help but lift the little puppy into the air, smiling fondly at it. It’s so cute -- honestly, when Banri had first agreed to take the dog in, he hadn’t really known what kind of things he had to do, or what to buy, or whether there was anything specific he couldn’t give the dog… He and Tsumugi had spent the rest of the day hand in hand, going to various pet stores to buy things for Banri’s new dog, such as food, and cages, and pee pads, and toys…

There was something terribly domestic about it, that made Banri’s heart swell up with warmth, a sweet feeling rising in the back of his mouth. He leans forward, kissing the top of the puppy’s head, and it manages to lick his chin, tail wagging even more. 

**TsumTsuki: ** Banri-kun?

Banri gently puts the puppy down on the floor as his computer lights up with a message, and his own eyes light up at seeing it.

**NEO: ** tsumugi-san, i was just about to text you  
**TsumTsuki: ** Oh, what good timing.  
**TsumTsuki: ** I was just wondering whether you wanted to come over tonight?

By this point, it had only been about two days since he’d seen Tsumugi last. They’d spent the weekend together, as promised, and then Tsumugi sent Banri back with all his items to go to class, which was one of the few things Banri really wish he hadn’t committed to, now knowing how wonderful it was to be by Tsumugi’s side.

**NEO: ** i cant come over for dinner, i have something planned but  
**NEO: ** i could drop dog by your place and come back after to spend the night?  
**TsumTsuki: ** Are you really calling that angel ‘Dog’?  
**NEO: ** uhhhh  
**NEO: ** nnnoooo…?  
**NEO: ** i’ll call it violet  
**TsumTsuki: ** It’s a ‘she’, by the way.  
**TsumTsuki: ** And Violet sounds like a wonderful name.  
**TsumTsuki: ** Your plan...sounds good, too. Do you have an early class tomorrow?

Banri checks his schedule. He  _ does _ , but it’s a class he can afford to skip. He glances from the schedule on his phone, to the waiting message on his computer, and sighs, rubbing the back of his neck.

**NEO: ** would you say no to me staying over if i said yes  
**TsumTsuki: ** ...Normally, yes, but…  
**TsumTsuki: ** I’d like to be with you a little more...if that's alright.

Banri is really going to die.

**NEO: ** i’ll see you at 6 then  
**TsumTsuki: ** To drop Violet off?  
**NEO: ** that and to maybe be with you for a bit  
**NEO: ** if you’re free  
**TsumTsuki: ** I am.  
**NEO: ** then i’ll see you at 6.

Violet barks at him, and Banri doesn’t have to look in a mirror to know that he’s smiling like an absolute fool. He slaps his hands over his cheeks, shaking his head -- he really feels like a fool in love, and it’s a feeling that he never wants to let go of. Being by Tsumugi’s side is wonderful -- when he’d left Tsumugi’s house, it felt a lot less like a ‘house’, and a lot more like a ‘home’, and he only hoped Tsumugi felt the same way as he did.

He rolls back in his chair, doing a little spin around the room, and presses his hands to his face again, listening to the pads of Violet’s feet against the floor as she chases after his chair, barking at him.

“God,” Banri says, to no one in particular, “Tsumugi-san is the best.”

He falls quiet, then, dragging his hands slowly down his face, and lays them in his lap. Tsumugi is wonderful, and sweet, and kind, but he still seems to have so much on his shoulders. Banri doesn’t know what kind of struggles Tsumugi has been through, to make his house feel as empty and regretful as it did, and he wonders about that picture, he saw, as well. He figures that Tsumugi isn’t lying to him -- he seems like an honest type, at least, and he figures he isn’t using him for his money, or else he’d make more of a deal about Banri tipping, in order to take advantage of him.

But why, then, does Tsumugi’s shoulders feel so heavy?

Banri leans back in his chair, sighing slightly to himself. Curiosity was starting to get the better of him, as much as he wanted to wait for Tsumugi to explain himself…

It sat in the back of his mind. It wasn’t a heavy thought, but it still lingered there. Banri wanted to help, to find out more about Tsumugi, but there was nothing he could do if he didn’t know the specifics behind everything. Perhaps something had happened with his job? Something bad? 

The question that was most prevalent in his mind was: why wasn’t Tsumugi a teacher now?

He sighs, standing from his seat, and stretches out, trying to shake the thoughts from his head. Right now, he’d focus on the upcoming mixer, and then his night together with Tsumugi. That was what was more important to him -- making sure Tsumugi felt happy and safe now. If he chose to share his story with him, and Banri hopes, somewhere inside him, that one day Tsumugi would trust him enough to do so, then he shared his story. If not, there wouldn’t be any problem. Banri would just go on loving him as per usual.

A smile crosses over his face. 

Tsumugi, now, was more important to him than anything, ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading this week's dear daffodil!! <3 as always please talk to me about ddau at @hiiroamagi_ on twitter!!


	15. chapter fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> all good things must come to an end.

“Yo, Itaru-san.”  
“Oi, don’t call me that.”

Itaru’s standing just behind the ticket gates, having already tapped through. Banri quickly taps his card against the reader, and makes his way past the barrier, stretching out. His eyes fall on Itaru, who’s as clownable as Banri first expects. He’s got his jacket on, the bright yellow  _ thing _ , accompanied by a mask over the bottom half over his face. His hair isn’t up, which is a little bit of a relief. Itaru hands him a mask, shrugging at him.

“Here you go,” he says. “NEO-kun.”  
“Oh, thank you.” Banri fastens the mask around his own face. “I forgot.”  
“Of course you did.” Itaru rolls his eyes, and tucks his hands in his pockets. “We’re gonna be late.”  
“What’s that supposed to mean, of course you did. I have a pretty good memory, okay?”  
“Where were you before this?”

Banri’s silence is answer enough for Itaru, who laughs, pulling his phone out from his pocket.

“Thought so.” 

As they walk towards their train, Banri notices something a little different about Itaru. It had been a while since the last time they’d seen each other, so Banri automatically found himself keeping an eye on him, curious.

Itaru seemed lighter, somewhat. As if some of the weight of his shoulders had been sloughed off, as well. Banri peers at him, studying the expression in his eyes, and Itaru hums in response.

“What’s up? You’re not moving your affections to me, right?” Itaru asks, pausing his game of Cookie Run. “I prefer 2D, thanks.”  
“No way, pervert.” Banri replies, not skipping a beat. “You seem happier.”  
“Me, happier?” Itaru glances over at him. “...Duh?”  
“What do you mean, ‘duh’. What happened?” Banri elbows him, watching as their train arrived. “Got a new SSR?”  
“Yes,” Itaru clicks ‘play’. “Duh.”

Banri almost believes it. For a second, he believes it, listening to Itaru hum to himself about all the bank he was going to make in his guild. Banri doesn’t play Cookie Run himself, so he has no idea what Itaru’s talking about. He inches closer, and elbows him gently.

“That’s not it, right.” Banri says.  
“No.” 

Itaru puts his phone down. Banri is momentarily shocked by the weight of the action -- Itaru normally talks to him while playing a game (which does take an enormous amount of focus) so having him talk  _ to  _ him is a little out of the ordinary.

“Remember the girl,” Itaru says. “You know.  _ That _ girl.”

Banri knows a lot about  _ that girl _ . 

“Yeah.” Banri replies, leaning back against the chair. “What about her?”  
“Turns out that she never loved me in the first place.” Itaru’s voice doesn’t change at all.  
“And this is a good thing...why?”   
“It’s a good thing, because I can stop beating myself up about it.” Itaru taps the side of his phone against his chin, being surprisingly thoughtful. “If she never loved me at all, I didn’t do anything to make her cheat on me. Sure, I wasted a lot of time and effort and love on her, but at least I won’t think ‘if only I’d done more’, anymore.”

Banri leans over, and pats Itaru’s shoulder.

“Dude,” he says. “Are you, like, okay?”

* * *

“Oh, Taruchi!” 

The girl at the door greets Itaru with a wide smile, tossing her hair over her shoulder. 

“You actually came!” she says, holding her arms out. “I’m Dahlia.”  
“Oh, rank 5.” Banri says. “I’m NEO.”  
“No way ~ you brought him ~ “ Dahlia shoots Itaru a jealous look as she speaks. “NEO-sensei, you’re like a god.”  
“He fights with me too much to be a real god,” Itaru replies, elbowing him. “Let’s go in.”

Banri enters the house, trailing behind Itaru and Dahlia as they start talking about strategies. It’s not anything Banri hasn’t heard before, chiming in every now and then with tips of his own. It’s not as packed as Banri had expected -- he’s half glad for that, the couch in the middle populated with four people all piled together. In the middle, a man dressed in outlandish clothes sits in seiza, thumbs flying over the controller.

Itaru stops in his tracks.

“Oi, Taruchi.” Banri says, elbowing him. “What’s up with you?”  
“It’s S,” Itaru says, slowly. “Hey, y -- “

Seconds later, Itaru has an armful of _person_, the man having  _ thrown  _ himself into Itaru’s arms. Banri’s about to say something about how Itaru probably can’t handle all that weight, before just shrugging, going to take up the lost controller. He’ll leave them to it -- S left his game unfinished, so Banri would just have to finish it for him. He quickly swipes up the rest of the enemies, and starts the next level, the others stopping to watch him as he went.

“Ah, as expected of our rank 1 slash 2,” Dahlia says, and Banri makes a noncommittal noise. “NEO-sensei, you’re really a god.”  
“It’s weird being called sensei,” Banri admits, not wanting to mention that his mind is currently full of a certain other teacher. “Don’t call me that.”  
“Yeah,” one of the boys beside him pipes up. “No one wants to be associated with teachers these days.”  
“Oh, that’s true ~ “ Dahlia says, leaning on her palm. “Teachers are pretty scary.”  
“No, they’re not.” Banri echoes, focusing on the combo he’s executing. “Where’d you hear that.”  
“Oh, NEO-senpai, you haven’t heard?”

Dahlia crashes on the couch next to him.

“There’s this rumor about this teacher…”

* * *

Tsumugi glances up from his book, looking around. There’s nothing around him -- how weird, he had an odd feeling a few moments ago. He slides the bookmark back into place, putting the book back on the desk.

“Ayame, Violet,” he calls, and the two puppies come running over, their little paws slipping on the hardwood floor. “Who are my good girls? Hi, sweethearts.”

The smile indulgent on his face, he leans over, moving to scratch the dogs’ heads and their bellies, happy barks coming from Violet as her tail wags. Ayame’s a much quieter pup, simply wriggling around happily under his scritches. Tsumugi’s heart warms, seeing them enjoy themselves, and rubs their heads fondly.

Banri’s face wanders into his mind, and Tsumugi leans back, sighing softly to himself. Banri... 

Honestly, there’s really something special about him. Tsumugi really can’t place it, and doesn’t think he ever will be able to. Something that Banri has, or does, that makes the utmost warmth gather in his heart, and his surroundings feel a little less bleak. Violet barks, as if understanding, and Tsumugi smiles at her, watching her run around excitedly.

He wonders, for a moment, whether it would be okay to trust in someone like Banri. Whether it would be okay for him to tell Banri...what had happened, and ask if it was still okay, if Banri still wanted to be with him even though he did these sorts of things. Even though he and that person…

Banri… would understand, right? Tsumugi feels like he’s understanding enough to not judge him too badly. 

The thought settles comfortably in his mind. He’d explain to Banri his side of the situation, and then let him make his decision. Though, it would be hard to believe if Banri stayed after hearing it -- but somehow, Tsumugi felt, if he _did _leave, Tsumugi would be satisfied. If Banri stayed, however...

Well, Tsumugi would probably never be happier. 

His doorbell rings, and the dogs bark, running around. Tsumugi’s heart swells, and he moves to get the door, seeing Banri standing there. 

“Banri-kun,” Tsumugi says, stepping aside. “Come on in.”  
“Sorry to intrude,” Banri replies, quietly. 

He kicks his shoes off at the landing and goes inside without another word, leaving Tsumugi standing at the entrance hall. He tilts his head, slightly, and hums. He must be tired — Banri never exactly said what he was doing before this. Tsumugi shuts the door, and wanders in after him to the living room, where the puppies are running circles around Banri. Banri’s on the couch, staring down at them as they barked.

“How was the mixer you went to?” Tsumugi asks, coming over to him. 

He leans down to press a soft kiss against Banri’s cheek, and pretends not to notice when Banri goes a little stiffer. Definitely tired…

“It was okay. I met a couple of other people who liked the same game I do.” Banri says, stretching down to pick up Ayame. “It was pretty fun.”  
“That’s good.” Tsumugi replies,

The air feels weird -- strained, almost. Tsumugi won’t push Banri to tell him what’s wrong, but this kind of atmosphere...Tsumugi worries, just a little. He takes Banri’s hand and squeezes, and smiles a little when he feels Banri squeeze back. His hand is still warm, still comforting, but Tsumugi wants to be the one who’s comforting Banri. Banri had been such a wonderful and warm presence in Tsumugi’s life, so it’s only fair that he tries his best to be the same.

And he loves him, Tsumugi realises, squeezing his hand again. He loves Banri especially dearly. He’d come into his life, and taken his hand, and walked with him, and now it was Tsumugi’s turn to return the love he’d been shown.

“Want to go on a walk?” he suggests. “We’ll take Ayame and Violet out with us.”  
“Sounds nice, Tsumugi-san.” Banri replies, giving him a soft smile, and Tsumugi’s heart is calmed at the sight of it.

* * *

“C’mon, Violet,” Tsumugi calls, and unlatches the dogs' leashes. “There we go. Go run and play. You too, Ayame.”

Banri watches him, heart churning in his chest. Tsumugi looks so carefree -- happy, with the dogs.

They’d come to a park, in the middle of the night, in the cold, with their dogs. Violet and Ayame seem happy enough to run around, the two little furballs chasing each other around like two little bullets, running through grass and splashing around little puddles. He watches them for a few moments, eyes shining -- they’re really very adorable, he notes. It helps release some of the weight in his chest, and he rubs a little at the back of his neck.

“Banri-kun,” Tsumugi calls, and Banri looks up at him. “Come sit. I put some coffee in the thermos to share.”  
“Oh, thanks.”

Banri sits next to Tsumugi on the bench, and takes the little cup from his hands, sipping at the warm liquid. It’s bitter, which is fine by Banri. He sips again, and then sets the cup down, looking up at the sky. Distantly, Violet barks. His mind begins to wander, going back to the rumor Dahlia had told him before he’d left.

_ “There’s this rumor about this teacher…One of the students in his class was apparently pretty badly abused by him, you know?”  
_ _ “Eh? What happened?”  
_ _ “NEO-senpai, you don’t know?” _ _   
_ _ “No, tell.” _

No, he can’t be thinking about this now. He came out here to have a relaxing time with Tsumugi, who was blowing at the surface of his coffee. He shifts a bit closer, and Tsumugi turns his head to him, smiling at him. Banri can’t stop thinking about it, though, and Dahlia’s words swim back into his head like a curse, as if leaning over his shoulder and whispering into his ear.

_ “So apparently, this student was being taken advantage of by his teacher. Like, he’d stayed back one day at his request and then, you know.”  
_ _ “You know?”  
_ _ “Oh...you know. The stuff you do under the table.”  
_ _ “What about the kid, though.”  
_ _ “I don’t know, what about the kid. Are you asking me whether he wanted to do it?”  
_ _ “...”  
_ _ “What do you  _ ** _think_ ** _ , NEO-senpai…”  
_ _ “Jesus Christ...what kind of sick fuck? What happened then?”  
_ _ “Well, of course the student told somebody, and the teacher got fired, but to think that kind of person is still out there…”  
_ _ “Know a name, or something? I have to stay away from those kind of people.”  
_ _ “Um, hm… Maybe, Tsu -- “ _

“Banri-kun?”

Banri snaps out of his thoughts, looking over at Tsumugi. Judging by his expression, it seems as if he’d been talking for a little bit. Tsumugi sips at the coffee in his hands, and gives Banri a small little smile.

“Sorry,” Banri says. “I spaced out there.”  
“It’s alright.” Tsumugi replies. “I was just asking if you wanted more coffee.”  
“I’m okay for now. Thanks, Tsumugi-san.” Banri sets the cup back down between them.

There was no way someone like Tsumugi could do something like that. Sure, he was a little sexually focused, especially with what he did as a living, but he didn’t look like the type to do...that kind of thing. He runs his finger against the rim of the cup, and then looks up at Tsumugi again. He’s currently staring into the distance, watching as the dogs ran around. 

It’s wrong of Banri to assume. Whatever happened clearly happened a while ago, and if Tsumugi really was the type of person to do this kind of thing, he certainly didn’t seem like it now, watching as Tsumugi whistles to the dogs, laughing when they run over. His heart tugs at the sight of it -- he wants to just pretend his conversation with Dahlia had never happened, so he can go back to watching Tsumugi with not a single doubt in his heart. He swallows down the rest of the coffee in the cup. He’d ask -- he knew it wasn’t true, but he’d ask.

“Tsumugi-san -- “  
“Banri-kun -- “

The two voices clashed in the otherwise quiet air, and Tsumugi turns back to face him, eyes soft.

“Sorry,” Banri mumbles.  
“It’s alright. You go ahead.” Tsumugi says. “It’s not that important, anyway.”

Banri can’t place it. He just can’t place it -- there is no way someone as sweet as Tsumugi would do this sort of thing.

“You don’t have to answer this, but…” Banri begins.  
“It’s fine,” Tsumugi replies. “What is it?”

Banri hesitates. What if it’s true, and everything Banri knows about Tsumugi ends up to be wrong? Or worse still, what if it’s false, and Banri ends up bringing back some terrible memories for Tsumugi?

“Banri-kun, don’t force yourself to -- “ Tsumugi says, only for Banri to speak.  
“Is it true?” he says, then. “The rumors.”

And the reaction Tsumugi gives him is nothing short of heartbreaking -- the warmth in his eyes sapping away into a dull sort of coldness, his shoulders slumping. He breaks his gaze, looking down at the thermos on his lap. He opens his mouth, as if to speak, before shutting it immediately after, swallowing.

“Tsumugi-san…” Banri continues. “Please tell me...is it true that you did that to one of your students…?”  
“You heard, huh…” Tsumugi’s voice lacks any form of emotion -- it’s such a far cry from all the types of Tsumugi Banri has seen before. “...about me.”  
“I just found out.” Banri says. “Tsumugi-san, is it true, because -- “  
“What...would you do if I said yes?” 

Banri watches Tsumugi as he speaks, bent low as if to hide himself completely from anything and everything, grip tightening slightly around the metal of the thermos. His knuckles have gone white from exertion, and Banri just wants to take his hands and kiss them, but if this is true, then...

“It can’t be true,” Banri whispers, not realising how soft his voice has gone. “I don’t believe you could do that sort of thing.”  
“I did,” Tsumugi replies, finally turning his gaze away. “I didn’t do...that to him, but I might as well have.”  
“It’s not true, then?” Banri replies.

Tsumugi doesn’t respond for a long while.

When Banri looks back at him, he realises that Tsumugi’s turned to look at him -- and the expression in his eyes… Honestly, Banri doesn’t even know how to describe the emotion that’s buried there -- his face is blank, as if nothing Banri had said had changed anything for Tsumugi, but in his eyes -- Banri could feel inescapable sorrow, mixed with a low sense of defeat. It’s a familiar expression, actually -- Banri had seen in it Tsumugi’s earliest streams, when he was just starting, so long ago.

“...Hey, Banri-kun.” Tsumugi says. “Let’s end this, before I hurt you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello im @hiiroamagi_ on twitter
> 
> yes....we are here now


	16. chapter fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aftermath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI im so sorry for the late post i forgot to post before i left ; w ; i hope u enjoy this chapter!!!

“Tsukioka-sensei!”

Tsumugi lifts his books from the desk, turning to the other standing at the other side. Bright eyed and sunny, he puts his hands into the pockets of his school uniform. A smile crosses over Tsumugi’s face, and he leans forward to ruffle his student’s hair gently. He leans into his touch, making a happy little noise.

“What is it ?”   
“Sensei, I want to ask you something really important.”

His student looks up at him, his smile spreading further over his face, teeth shining with their radiance. Tsumugi almost wants to shield his eyes from the expression on his face.

“Yes? You can ask me anything, you know.”  
“Tsukioka-sensei…”

“_Why did you hurt me?_”

Tsumugi stops, blankly staring at his student. His brain makes the connections in his head, and he holds his hand over his mouth, feeling something deep inside of him start to shake, fear rising up in his stomach. He feels like retching, but nothing wants to come up.

“Sensei, can you answer me?”  _ he  _ says, getting up on the table. “Why did you hurt me? Why did you abuse me, sensei? Can you answer it?”  
“I didn’t,” Tsumugi says, voice shaking. “I didn’t -- I didn’t hurt you, I didn’t abuse you…”  
“You did, though. Everyone said you did, so you did, right? Sensei…”  
“No, don’t -- I didn’t -- “

Tsumugi’s hands are on his ears, trying to block out the voice, but it’s almost as if he can hear it in his head. He shuts his eyes tight, backed up against the wall, the weight against his back like knives digging into his skin.

“Hey…” 

Tsumugi wants to hear _this_ voice even less.

“Tsumugi-san...why did you hurt me?”

Tsumugi snaps awake, sitting up from his bed. His chest heaves as he comes down from his nightmare, clutching onto the bedsheets under his hands. Ayame whimpers, pressing her wet nose into his wrist, and Tsumugi swallows, feeling sweat trickle down his neck and back. 

“Another nightmare,” he says, to no one in particular. “Ayame, sorry, did I wake you up, sweetheart…?”

Ayame wriggles into his arms, tail wagging slowly. She nuzzles in more, and Tsumugi gently picks her up, setting her gently on his chest as he lies back, glancing over to check his phone. He’s got several missed calls, one from Kazunari, and a few from Tasuku, followed by what he can only describe as a sea of texts from the latter. He puts his phone back down, scratching behind Ayame’s ears.

The room is dark, now, blinds pulled down over all of the windows. Tsumugi will tell himself it’s to keep the outside from coming in, but he knows, more realistically, that it’s the opposite. 

“Wanna go back to sleep?” Tsumugi whispers to the puppy, who makes a quiet little bark. “Let me wash my face and we’ll go back to sleep.”

He sets Ayame down, and gets out of bed, the carpet soft under his feet. He pads slowly over to the bathroom, moving to brush his hair out of his face. He has to peer under the mirror for the brush, and the second toothbrush in his cup stands out like a sore thumb. His heart aches in his chest, and he swallows, picking up the toothbrush and taking it with him into the living room, joining the plastic bag of items belonging to Banri.

Returning to the bathroom, he rinses his face, and cleans off the sweat that had gathered, the cool water relaxing the redness and swelling of his eyes. It’s easier to be alone, Tsumugi decides -- if he’s alone, he won’t be able to get hurt, ever again. It’s a little bit relaxing, even...it had always been him and Zabi and his grandparents, and then it was him and Zabi...and now it’s him and Ayame. 

Ayame barks, as if she knew Tsumugi was talking about her.

Tsumugi smiles, wiping his face on the towel, and picks his phone up from the desk.

[ from: Tsumu ]  
_ Could you come by and pick up Banri-kun’s things for me? _

[ from: Ta-chan ]  
_ now you reply.  
_ _ are you okay? what’s happening? _

[ from: Tsumu ]  
_ It’s nothing.   
_ _ Please, Tasuku. Return it for me to him. _

[ from: Ta-chan ] _ … _ _   
_ _ fine. but after that, you’re going to tell me what’s been happening. _

Tsumugi doesn’t reply, setting the phone back on the table. He pulls the blankets over his shoulders, Ayame snuggling into his side, and ignores the quiet buzzing on his phone, and the gentle grumble low in his stomach. He closes his eyes, and lets himself drift back off into sleep.

* * *

“This is a disaster.”

The charcoal clatters against the floor, Banri kicking back his stool. It doesn’t fall over, which he’s both thankful for, and also a little pissed off at. He’s worked up, and he  _ knows  _ he is, but he can’t stop himself from being angry. Ever since he and Tsumugi --

Ever since he and Tsumugi...what, exactly…? What were they even…? They weren’t exactly dating, but it wasn’t like they were just friends… They were a weird mix of it, together but not -- and Banri loved him. Loves him, even -- which is likely why he’s so pissed off. 

And to top it all off, Tsumugi hasn’t done a stream in forever. The group chat that some of his fans have started (and that Banri is a proud part of, still) are generally worried, because it isn’t like Tsumugi to miss streams.

He presses his fingers tightly together, staring down the painting on the easel. It is a halfhearted beginning of another landscape, smudged and blurry, with no clear shape or purpose. He stares at the canvas for a few more moments, not sure where he’s gone wrong, or how he can fix this situation.

“Settsuar, are you okay ~ ?”

Banri turns to see Kazunari standing beside him, staring at his canvas as well. He reaches out, pressing his finger into the smudged nonsense that’s on the paper. His finger comes away almost black, and he turns to Banri, holding his finger up.

“What’s wrong?” Kazunari asks, and Banri turns his eyes back to the canvas.  
“...Tsumugi-san…” Banri says, quietly. “Tsumugi-san and I…”  
“Ah, so the two of you…” 

Kazunari pulls his stool up to Banri’s, and wraps an arm around him.

“Want to go out with me and Tenten? We’ll talk about it with you.” Kazunari suggests.   
“How do you know Tenma…?” Banri asks, but figures Kazunari ends up just knowing everybody. “I should be fine…”  
“Don’t say that.” Kazunari squeezes the arm around him. “Let’s go and enjoy ourselves, okay?” 

Banri swallows, letting Kazunari excitedly explain their plans, and decides to just go with the flow. He’ll just follow along...maybe it could help get Tsumugi off of his mind, anyway… 

“Settsuar, let’s do it?” Kazunari asks.  
“Okay.” Banri replies, and subjects himself to another round of tight hugs.

* * *

“Hnnh -- “

Tsumugi has a hand down his pyjama pants, hair a mess from all the sleeping he’d done. His hand is curled around his cock gently, rubbing slowly at his length. He doesn’t know what’s prompted him to do this, rubbing a thumb gently over the tip, moaning softly. It feels good, but…

A face flickers into his mind, and Tsumugi’s hand stills, a soft whine leaving his lips. Of course,  _ he  _ would be the first person he’d think about in this sort of situation. His hands on his, moving them slowly… Tsumugi whimpers, starting to move his hand again, slow and steady. He would whisper sweet things into his ear, rub the tip, and play with his nipples as he ground against him…

“Ah, hnnh -- “

Tsumugi couldn’t think about this. This should be the  _ last  _ thing he thinks about -- Banri’s hands shouldn’t be on him, can’t be on him -- Banri deserves better than him, better than some malfunctioning product that hurt its previous owner. The pictures still appear in his mind, though -- Banri’s cock sliding into him, hand over his cock -- he moans, stroking himself off a little harder. 

He can’t, he can’t, but he wants to, so badly. He wants to believe Banri is still here, in his arms, or holding him -- he swallows down, feeling something wet begin to track down his cheeks, and drip onto his sheets and clothing.

“Banri -- kun, Banri-kun, Banri -- “

Tsumugi whimpers Banri’s name, and the moment it leaves his mouth, his heart begins to twist in his chest, as if shrivelling up, and he sobs, the tears falling faster, but his hand doesn’t stop moving, hips pushing up into his hand, and white cum spilling over his fingers and knuckles. 

The tears don’t stop, continuing to trickle down his cheeks, even as he lies back, burying his face into his pillow. He swallows down the louder sobs, not wanting to attract any major attention, though Ayame’s already whining at the door. 

He misses Banri so much. So much, but there’s nothing Tsumugi can do about it in this kind of situation. It’s his fault for telling Banri that they should break up, and it’s his fault that he even did that to his student so long ago...if he hadn’t, what kind of wonderful life would he and Banri be living right now…?

Not bothering to clean up, he curls up, the sheets rumpled from his activity. He’d get over Banri eventually, and build up his walls again. He could do it -- he’s done it once, so he can certainly do it again. 

(Tsumugi wants to bury himself under the pillow and cease all movement.)

Ayame begins barking in the distance, and Tsumugi quietly pulls his trousers back up, curling further underneath the sheets, pulling them over his head in his attempt to hide away from everything. The doorknob to his room wiggles, and then the door is pushed open. Footsteps follow, and then there’s a weight on the side of his bed.

“Tsumu,” Tasuku says softly. “Want to tell me what’s going on?”  
“Not particularly,” Tsumugi replies, inching further under the blanket. “Just stay here, Ta-chan…”

Tasuku reaches out, running his fingers gently through Tsumugi’s hair. He sighs, keeping the movements of his hand over his head gentle, watching the other curl up further in the blanket.

“Tsumu,” Tasuku begins, and then Tsumugi sniffles.  
“Ta-chan,” Tsumugi says, inching closer. “I made a mistake…”  
“Mm.” Tasuku doesn’t stop petting his hair, careful as he does so. “It’s okay. It’s all gonna be okay, Tsumu…”

As the sniffles turn into louder sobs, Tasuku hauls Tsumugi out of bed and wraps his arms around him, rubbing his back gently. For the time being, Tsumugi probably needed him around. He could go locate Banri later -- for now, this was a little more important to Tasuku than returning those items.

* * *

“Oh, Kazunari, Banri.”  
“Yo, Tenten ~ You’re here early!”

Banri lifts a hand to Tenma, who nods at him. They’re at Banri’s favorite sushi place, several plates of california rolls already settled peacefully on the table. Banri sits, stretching out, and Kazunari more or less falls into his chair, completely relaxed.

“Let’s eat first,” Tenma says, pointing at the food. “Go on, Banri.”  
“Don’t mind if I do.”

Banri picks up a piece of sushi, shoving it into his mouth as Tenma and Kazunari start to talk, rambling about something that Banri didn’t quite understand, nor that he was paying too much attention to, his mind wandering away into the distance. Tenma’s eyes are on him, flickering back between him and Kazunari.

“Banri,” Tenma begins, and Banri dips his piece of sushi in the soy sauce. “Do you want to talk about it?”  
“I don’t know what to do,” Banri admits. “It’s pissing me off.”  
“About what?” Tenma prompts. “Is it about that boyfriend of yours? What is his name…”  
“Tsumugi-san,” Banri mumbles.  
“...Tsumugi?”

Tenma’s face contorts, slightly, as if thinking. Banri blinks at him, looking up from where he’s accidentally soaked the california roll in the soy sauce. He quickly pops the saturated piece of sushi in his mouth, trying not to grimace at the overly salty taste. 

“Tenten?” Kazunari asks. “What’s up?”  
“The name is really familiar,” Tenma says, thinking. “Tsumugi-san...Tsumugi-san… Tsukioka-sensei?!”  
“Eh?” Banri says, staring at him.   
“Oh, no, he...I remember we took lessons from him before.” Tenma rubs his chin slightly. “He tutored Kumon for a while…”

Banri stares further into his plate of soy sauce. Of course...Tsukioka-sensei. Banri had encountered him once or twice in his childhood, back when he’d visit Juza’s house, and he’d get help with his homework from that handsome teenager who had made a delinquent bear child like him more eager to learn. He swallows, pushing his plates to the side, and lies down on the table, pressing the side of his face into the wood.

“Settsuaaar…?” Kazu asks, dragging the question. “What’s happening?”  
“Tsumugi-san,” Banri says again. “I want to be with him right now.”  
“And you can’t because…?” Tenma chimes in, stretching to grab a plate of sushi from the conveyor belt.   
“We broke up, kind of.”

Banri remembers it very clearly in his mind. It wasn’t long ago, but he thinks the memory of it will stick in his thoughts like a beacon, or an alarm, blaring at him.

_ “Let’s end this, before I hurt you too.” _

He still doesn’t understand what Tsumugi meant by that. What did he mean, before he hurts him, too? He swallows, burying his face further into the table, and Kazunari pats his back, running his hand comfortingly over his spine. Tenma makes a little noncommittal noise, but puts a hand on his head, ruffling his hair.

“Look,” he says, “have you tried to talk to Tsukioka-san since?”  
“No,” Banri replies, muffled by the table. “If it’s really me, I don’t want to be a bother.”  
“Settsuar, why’d you two break up in the first place…”

Kazunari’s voice is calm, showing that he’s not actually too worried about not getting an answer, but Banri sighs, sitting up again. If only he’d never heard about that stupid rumor from Dahlia -- if he hadn’t heard it, he might still be with Tsumugi right now…and what was he thinking, asking about that sort of thing? It was obvious Tsumugi didn’t do it.

“I -- “ Banri begins. “I...I made a mistake.”  
“You made a mistake?” Kazunari echoes.  
“Oi, is this really Banri…” Tenma mumbles under his breath.  
“What’s  _ that  _ supposed to mean,” Banri bites, but the sharpness of it just isn’t there.  
“Hearing you admit that you made a mistake is new,” Tenma replies, shoving a piece of sushi in his mouth.   
“Aren’t you supposed to be comforting me.”  
“I am, I am. What happened?”

Banri sighs again, swirling the soy sauce with his chopsticks. Kazunari gently takes the plate away so Banri can’t procrastinate, his eyes on him surprisingly warm. He looks across the table.

“The rumor,” Banri begins and he sees, in the corner of his vision, Kazunari freeze up. “I made him think I believed it.”  
“You know about it?” Kazunari asks. “It’s fake — Tsumutsumu wouldn’t do something like that, and we all know.”  
“I don’t want to ask,” Tenma says, “but it sounds serious. What do you mean you made him think you believed it?”  
“I asked him about it,” Banri continues, “and I kept pestering him about whether it was true or not… it shouldn’t have mattered to me, Tsumugi-san is nice and I  _ knew  _ he wasn’t the type to do these sorts of things, but I still…”  
“Hmm,” Kazunari hums. “And you can’t contact Tsumutsumu?”  
“No,” Banri says. “I think he blocked my number.”  
“How about Taks, then?”   
“Tasuku-san?” Tenma asks. “The firefighter?”  
“Oh, Tenten, you know him?”

Tenma rubs his arm slightly, and then pulls his phone out to send a message. 

“Juza works with him.” Tenma says. “I’ll ask if he knows him.”  
“What’s with all of you and your connections,” Banri complains. “I want to have connections too.”  
“You know Itarun though?” Kazunari asks.   
“So do you!”  
“Don’t bother with that,” Tenma says, clicking his tongue. “Kazunari knows everyone…and Juza said he does know Tasuku, but he’s not around right now.”  
“Great,” Banri says, hiding his face in his arms. “Where am I going to find him now?”

“Um,” a voice sounds from behind, and Banri turns to be met with a rather familiar face. “Are you Banri Settsu?”  
“Takusu!” Kazunari says, cheerfully. 

Banri has rather odd memories of Tasuku, and upon looking at him in person, they surface to the top again. He sighs,  _ again _ .

“That’s me,” Banri mumbles. “Tasuku-san, can I — “  
“Can we talk?” Tasuku says. “Alone. If at all possible.”  
“I need to go back and feed Violet, anyway,” Banri says, “so we can go back to my place?”

This is a chance that Banri’s not sure he’s going to get again. He can ask Tasuku to help explain his situation, help tell Tsumugi that he doesn’t really  _ care  _ if he gets hurt, because he knows Tsumugi won’t hurt him, he knows Tsumugi enough to know that the rumors were fake…

“That sounds good.” Tasuku says, and turns to Kazunari and Tenma. “I’m sorry to bother.”  
“Is Tsumutsumu okay?” Kazunari asks, instead.   
“He’s…” Tasuku stops, and then rubs his neck. “Coping.”  
“I have to tell him I made a mistake,” Banri says, mostly to himself. “Tasuku-san, let’s go?”

He gets up from his chair, and pulls his wallet out, putting down a note or two to help foot the bill, and leaves, Tasuku following behind. 


	17. chapter sixteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> scavenger hunting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for valentines, you can have a little a dear daffodil. as a treat

“I’m back,” Banri says, opening the door.

Violet’s sitting at the door, her tail wagging excitedly from side to side, and she runs circles around Banri as he steps in.

“Excuse me for intruding,” Tasuku says, stepping in beside him. “I didn’t bring a gift.”  
“It’s fine,” Banri says, and lifts Violet up into his arms. She licks his face, and he cringes slightly, but doesn’t move her away, kissing her little nose. “Give me a sec to feed her.”  
“Sure, take your time.”

Banri sets her down, gently pushing Violet towards the little corner of the room where her bowls are, cooing softly to soothe her along. She barks, and runs around the bowls as Banri spoons kibble into it, and makes sure her water bowl is tipped up before going to the living room, where Tasuku has tentatively sat, a plastic bag on his lap.

“This is yours,” Tasuku says. “Tsumugi asked me to hand them back.”  
“Ah, okay,” Banri mumbles, taking the bag from him. 

It had all the items that Banri had left over at Tsumugi’s house that last time, when he’d wondered to himself whether it would be okay to stay forever. Forever didn’t last that long, though, and his items were gracefully returned to him. He sets the bag on the table, and sits across from Tasuku, who presses his fingers together.

“Tasuku-san -- “  
“Settsu -- “  
“You go ahead,” Tasuku says, rather graciously.  
“Oh, well…”

Banri honestly hadn’t expected to get this far. He looks down at the table, at his plastic bag of items, and then up at Tasuku, and then down at his hands. He swallows.

“I made a terrible mistake,” Banri says, looking back up at Tasuku. “A really, really major mistake. I made...Tsumugi-san think that I believed all that nasty shit. It’s not true, right?”  
“It’s not.” Tasuku replies, meeting Banri’s eyes. “Look, I...figure he wouldn’t want me to tell you this, but Tsumugi’s looking like shit, right now.”  
“God.” Banri presses his fingers together harder. “Tsumugi-san…”  
“Tsumugi didn’t do anything to that child.” Tasuku says. “Let me tell you what happened.”

_ “Tsumugi had been a teacher since young. I don’t mean that in the literal way, but he was always the one leading me around. A pretty confident child, wouldn’t you say?  _

_ I took care of him physically, but he was always the one I’d turn to whenever things were hard, or if I needed someone to talk to, or any other emotionally related thing like that. He told me, when we were in our first year, that he wanted to be a teacher. Of course, bar the terrible pay, I supported him whole-heartedly, and found him some tutoring jobs. _

_ He ended up teaching Miyoshi and Minagi’s siblings, and that was fine. He was so happy -- he loved taking care of children, I think. Teaching them made him happy. One day, he finally got his first job teaching...and Settsu, the look on his face…it looked like he’d been given the world. Every class he prepared well for in advance, and every lesson was well thought out for his children -- apparently a useless group of kids, according to the gossip I’ve heard, but that ‘useless group of kids’ were anything but useless to Tsumugi. _

_ Under his love and care, they were raised into fantastic adults, and Tsumugi loved them so much. _

_ In his class, there was one student who struggled a lot, and Tsumugi would often go to take care of him after class or do extra lessons with him. Tsumugi may have been tired, but he did it, to make the student excel well in his class, and… _

_ I suppose the student saw something that made him believe Tsumugi...was in love with him.  _

_ Tsumugi wasn’t, naturally, but he’s so caring that I guess he never thought about it?” _

(Banri’s heart clenches in his chest.)

_ “Anyway, that student eventually confessed to him after class, and Tsumugi gently rejected him. The student left, and Tsumugi and I thought nothing would change. Tsumugi worried about how he was treating the child for him to believe he was in love, and wondered how to treat him in the future. _

_ And then, suddenly, during class, Tsumugi was called to the office, and then he was out of a job, and blacklisted from all of the schools nearby.” _

“I don’t exactly know what happened in that office,” Tasuku admits, quietly. “He won’t tell me.”  
“Tsumugi-san…” Banri mumbles, hands curling into fists on his knees. “I didn’t know…”  
“And that, paired with his current job, caused some unsavory rumors to start to come around.” Tasuku leans back on Banri’s couch, sinking into the plushness of it. “I guess once you made him believe that you believed it, he decided that he didn’t want to risk it again?”  
“I don’t know how to tell him I don’t believe it now,” Banri says, feeling helpless. “He won’t answer my phone calls.”

Tasuku presses his fingers together a little seriously, and Banri watches him, as he goes through an emotional journey -- from thoughtfulness, to surprise, to anger, to a low sense of defeat. Tasuku sighs.

“I think,” he says, “you need to learn about flower language.”

* * *

“Ta-chan,”

Tsumugi’s in his pyjamas, Ayame sniffing at Tasuku’s feet. Tasuku doesn’t have to look at Tsumugi too closely to see the weakness in his bones, and the defeat in his shoulders. Tsumugi rubs his eyes, and yawns, and Tasuku sighs, gently bopping him on the head as he walks in.

“What’re you doing here?” Tsumugi asks, trailing after him. “I’m fine.”  
“No, you’re not.”

Tasuku opens the blinds, and Tsumugi shields his eyes, the bright light streaming through the window almost blinding in the darkness he’s created in his house. He squints until he can see again, and Ayame jumps onto the couch, curling up in the warm sunlight. She does a cute little puppy yawn, and Tsumugi leans down to pet her gently.

“We’re going out,” Tasuku says. “You can bring Ayame, too. It’s going to be a walk.”  
“Huh…?” Tsumugi sits himself down on the couch to pet Ayame more. She makes a little noise. “What do you mean it’s going to be a walk?”  
“I’m taking you on a walk.” Tasuku says, again. “You’ve been cooped up in here long enough. Let’s go for a walk.”  
“I…” Tsumugi presses his fingers together. “I don’t know…”  
“It’ll be fine.”

Tasuku plops down next to him, and bops his knee against Tsumugi’s, before turning to him, studying the look in his eye. It’s faraway, as if Tsumugi isn’t even here right now. He takes his shoulder and squeezes, shaking him gently until he seems to focus. 

“We’ll go on a walk?” Tasuku asks -- less asks, but states, quite frankly -- and Tsumugi makes a soft noise of agreement. “I’ll sit here, and you change, okay?”  
“You’ll get me lunch?” Tsumugi asks.  
“I’ll get you lunch.” Tasuku promises, and Tsumugi sets Ayame on Tasuku’s lap, before getting up. “Tsumu.”  
“Hm…?”  
“Uh, how do I say this.” Tasuku rubs the back of his neck. “I guess flower language isn’t that bad.”

Tsumugi smiles. It’s a small smile, but Tasuku feels relieved at the sight of it.

“It’s funny to hear someone like you say that.” Tsumugi says, and Tasuku huffs, crossing his arms across his chest.   
“Hurry up and change."

* * *

“Where are we going?”

Tsumugi’s dressed himself in a warm fluffy jacket, with a blue scarf around his neck. Underneath the jacket, he’s wearing a plain t-shirt and patterned sweatpants (usable for both sleep and outside) and sneakers. It’s the most disastrous look Tasuku’s ever seen him in, but as long as he’s comfortable, he’s not going to complain. Ayame is on her little purple harness, and is happily running in front of them, exploring the world with her little brown eyes and her little pink paws.

“This way,” Tasuku says, leading him. “Ayame’s enjoying herself.”   
“I think she enjoys the outside,” Tsumugi replies, eyes sparkling. “She’s happy.”  
“How about you?” Tasuku asks, casually. “Are you enjoying it?”  
“Hm…” 

At the question, Tsumugi pulls the coat over himself a little more. 

“It’s okay,” Tsumugi says, after a while. “Kind of cold.”  
“Sorry, deal with it for a little.” Tasuku replies. “You’re not too tired, right?”  
“No.”

Ayame barks, pulling Tsumugi along a little. Tsumugi follows her, holding tight to her leash so she doesn’t escape, and soon finds himself in a familiar little park. He hums, looking around, and Tasuku runs a hand through his hair.

“I’m feeling a little hungry.” Tsumugi says.  
“Eh? Here?” Tasuku replies, staring at him. “Uh, I’ll give you some money. Go and get something to eat.”  
“Is there anything you want?” Tsumugi asks, holding his hand out. Tasuku drops some bills in his hand.  
“Uh, something sweet would be nice. Thanks.”  
“Sure.”

Tsumugi considers, looking at the cafe, when he hears the familiar sound of frying. His heart twinges, but he heads in that direction, the lady at the stall lighting up at the sight of him.

“Oh, you’re that guy!” she says, smiling. “I saw you here with your boyfriend.”  
“He’s not my boyfriend,” Tsumugi says feebly. “Can I have two taiyaki, please?”  
“Sure ~ “

He hands the money over, and the woman gets to frying, a small smile on her face. Ayame barks at the smell, and Tsumugi squats to give her a couple of soothing pets, scratching behind her ears. 

“All done!” the lady says. “Hang on a sec, have this, too!”  
“Huh?”

The lady hands over the two packets of taiyaki, and a single purple hyacinth. 

“A flower?” Tsumugi asks, gently taking it from her. “Um, why are you giving me this?”   
“Not sure,” she replies. “Someone came by here earlier and asked me to give this to you if you happened to walk by. Luckily, you came to my shop, too.”  
“Purple hyacinth,” Tsumugi says, looking down at the flower. “Thank you, ma’am.”  
“You’re welcome! If you see that boy again, tell him I did it, okay?”  
“I will. Thank you.”

Tsumugi returns to Tasuku, with a strange look on his face. Tasuku recognises it as the neutral face of displeasure, and takes his taiyaki packet from Tsumugi before he crushes the pastry as punishment.

“It wasn’t my idea,” Tasuku says. “Just go through with it?”  
“Then...it’s…” Tsumugi’s voice goes a little quiet at the thought. 

If Banri...was the one doing this…

Ayame whimpers at him, as if knowing his thoughts. He wouldn’t be surprised -- dogs are rather mysterious like that.

“Tsumu?” Tasuku asks. “Are you okay?”  
“Let’s keep going,” Tsumugi mumbles. “If I run into Banri-kun, I’ll return the flowers.”   
“If you say so,” Tasuku replies, and begins leading him to their next destination.

* * *

The second location Tasuku ends up leading Tsumugi to is the aquarium. 

Ayame’s not allowed in, so Tasuku buys Tsumugi a ticket, and tells him to just go through it and come out. Tsumugi huffs at him, but he’s not going to deny his kindness like that. He swallows, and takes his ticket, starts to walk through the aquarium, looking blankly at fish. He watches the sharks swim above his head in the conveyor belt, and watches the penguins perform tricks for the audience.

His heart aches. When he closes his eyes, he thinks about Banri, his hand in his, and if he happened to look up, he’d see Banri’s smile, or the flush that lit up on his cheeks. He swallows, before the tears can start to gather in his eyes, and arrives at the jellyfish. He watches as they bob up and down in the water, without a care in the world, and Tsumugi wishes more than ever he was a jellyfish. No worries, no cares...they could love freely, and none of them could get punished for it.

Tsumugi’s heart thumps hard in his chest, and he feels like the space beside him is startlingly empty. He’s been thinking about Banri this whole time -- he knows he shouldn’t, that even if Banri is the cause of this, he shouldn’t trick him into feeling things for him.

Banri wasn’t... _ that person _ , but Tsumugi didn’t know if he’d tricked Banri into loving him, or tricked himself into loving Banri, the latter of which became less and less likely, with every little movement of the jellyfish in the water. 

With every slow movement the jellyfish made across the field of Tsumugi’s vision, he felt his feelings being stirred in the deepest, darkest parts of his heart.

There was no plausible cause for the depressed feeling low in his stomach, because Tsumugi knew that loving Banri shouldn’t be a problem, but even though he knew that, he couldn’t do anything about it. He couldn’t get past that barrier — he was scared to open up, and he was scared to let Banri in, again, even though he’d done it before. 

He touches the glass with the tips of his fingers, and swallows. 

He’d asked Banri to wait, and Tsumugi wonders, after what he’d done, why on  _ earth  _ he’d still wait for him and produce something ridiculous like this…

His fingers tighten, slightly, over the hyacinth in his hands. He should be the one handing this to Banri…

Tsumugi continues to make his way through the aquarium, watching the penguins, and letting himself have a laugh at the poor penguin’s name, and soon arrives in the shop. The man at the counter lights up at the sight of him, Tsumugi having bought another penguin plush for his troubles. 

“Someone was here earlier,” he says. “He said if you were coming, to hand you this.”

The cashier handed him another jellyfish plush, a smaller, and admittedly more adorable plush than the one he’d been cuddling quietly when he missed having another presence in his bed, and a single, beautiful, lavender.

Tsumugi isn’t surprised, but his heart thumps in his chest, anyway. He thanks the cashier and heads outside to Tasuku, who gives him a strange look at the paper bag of plushies he has, but doesn’t say anything else. 

“Tsumu,” Tasuku begins, and Tsumugi gives him a soft smile.   
“Let’s keep going?” Tsumugi asks.   
“Alright.”

* * *

The last location, according to Tasuku, is the market. It’s quieter in the afternoon, not buzzing with the same amount of energy that Tsumugi’s normally used to. Stalls are closing up, stalls owners chatting cheerfully with one another and customers that have decided to stick around. Tasuku hands him Ayame’s leash, and she barks happily at being reunited with Tsumugi, nuzzling his ankle.

“Where am I supposed to go?” Tsumugi asks, and Tasuku shrugs. “Ta-chan…”  
“Look, he’s not very specific.” Tasuku says in response. “He just says that you’ll know.”

Tsumugi does know, but going there is...Tsumugi almost doesn’t want to. It’ll be difficult to face Banri if he’s there, and if he’s not, it’d be difficult to face Konoha and listen to her questions about Banri… though, he supposes, if Banri really wants him to go there, she should know already.

Ayame barks at him, and Tsumugi nods down at her, steeling his resolve. The flowers in one hand, and her leash in the other, he begins to walk, following the familiar pathways through the emptying streets of the market. He doesn’t realise it at first, but his grip on Ayame’s leash tightens -- if he sees Banri, what should he say? What should he do? 

His heart is conflicted -- even though he thinks he’s tricking Banri into being in love with him, he also...wants to believe that he didn’t, and that Banri still loves him, somehow, even after knowing what he’d done. Somehow...if anyone could do it, it would be Banri, but he shouldn’t. Someone as kind as him, filled with such warmth, should be with someone filled with just as much warmth as Banri had. 

Sure, Tsumugi never felt the cold around him, and his days were filled with such happiness, but the price that Banri could pay if Tsumugi was only stringing him along…

Tsumugi’s heart clenches tightly in his chest, and he makes a quiet noise. He doesn’t want to string Banri along. It would be nice...so nice, if Banri loved him as much as he did.

“Tsumugi-kun,” comes that familiar old voice, and Tsumugi puts his best smile on for Konoha.  
“Konoha-san,” Tsumugi replies. “Um…”  
“It’s Banri-kun, right?” Konoha says. “You and that boy must love each other very much.”  
“I do wonder,” Tsumugi says. “..Um…”  
“Yes, yes, the flower.”

Konoha reaches underneath her stall, and takes out a bracelet and the flower -- a purple lilac. Tsumugi adds it to his collection, and takes a look at the bracelet. It’s handmade, Tsumugi can tell that at first sight, but it’s not made with the precise movements that he knows Konoha for. It’s messy, and crooked, but the feeling it stirs inside of him makes Tsumugi start to shake. Each thread woven into the little black bracelet, interwoven with one brown-orange bead, exudes love, a love that Tsumugi isn’t sure he deserves.

“Do you need help putting it on?” Konoha asks, and Tsumugi nods, not trusting his voice. “Ay, look at you, Tsumugi-kun...don’t be angry at yourself. Mistakes happen, and the world can be mean.”  
“Konoha-san,” Tsumugi mumbles, watching her take his hand to tie the bracelet on.

The bracelet is neatly tied with a knot, and then his hand is being enveloped by two wrinkled and calloused palms, thumbs rubbing circles into his skin.

“Tsumugi-kun, your heart is kind. The world is cruel, but you are kind, and it’s natural that you’ll get hurt, as much as I would hate to see it. And I may be an old lady, but I know you have the tendency to take care of yourself.” she says, rubbing his hand gently. “I know you do, but Tsumugi-kun, why don’t you let people take care of you? You don’t have to do so much. We are all here for you. Me, Tomoe-chan, Tasuku-kun, Kazunari-kun and Tsuzuru-kun...even Banri-kun, we are all here for you.”  
“Konoha-san,” Tsumugi repeats, voice strained. “I’m okay.”  
“You’re not, Tsumugi-kun.” Konoha squeezes his hand softly. “You have to remember, okay? We love you.”

The waterworks turn on. Tsumugi can’t help it -- it feels like his heart is being squeezed, almost painfully from the feeling that’s gathering in his chest. He rationally thinks yes, I do deserve this, I deserve this, but there’s a part of his brain that tells him to not be a bother, to stay away from everyone and deal with your problems yourself. He pulls his hand from Konoha, to cover his face.

In the distance, the sound of footsteps grow faster, something wrapped in paper is dropped onto Konoha’s stall, and two warm hands cup Tsumugi’s face, rubbing his thumbs gently over the tear streaks.

“Don’t cry, Tsumugi-san...oh, please, don’t cry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **purple hyacinth:** i am sorry, sorrow, please forgive me  
**lavender:** devotion  
**purple lilac:** first emotion of love, first love
> 
> https://hananokotoba.com/the-language-of-flowers/


	18. chapter sixteen point five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> another look into the characters of dear daffodil.

“Itaru!”  
“Yes, yes. It’s me.”

Itaru is sitting on the couch, an excitable Zahran bouncing on the cushion next to him. Two controllers are set out on the table in front of them, and Itaru leans back against the sofa, keeping his eyes on Citron. Citron -- who he’d met online, and who had once travelled from wherever he came from to visit him. Itaru hadn’t forgotten the first time he’d encountered Citron -- it was a week or so after the Big Breakup, and Itaru was noticeably depressed and had a basket full of phone cards. As he was lining up to pay, Citron appeared in line next to him, and said  _ the  _ most inexplicable thing: 

“You are really having a brawl with your wallet!”

(Later, Itaru would realise that he meant  _ kakin _ , but had somehow thought it was the word ‘kicking’.)

In his depressed state, for some  _ god-awful  _ reason, Itaru thought this was the funniest thing in the universe, and burst into laughter in the queue, attracting many curious eyes. He bought the cards, anyway, and then took Citron out to lunch, after he’d realised who  _ exactly  _ he was.

“Itaru, should we play again?” 

Citron has the controllers in his hands again, navigating his little piece of paper over Itaru’s. Itaru snips him, chuckling at Citron’s loud huff of surprise as he reforms himself. He begins to navigate his character over to snip at Itaru, but Itaru, with his gamer instincts, manages to avoid contact, the two little paper pieces running back and forth in the map.

Citron was a major player in the MMO that Itaru was obsessed over -- KniRoun 14, the newest MMORPG out there. It was unlikely for you to go through the Kniroun world without hearing someone mention the great god S, who was some kind of major pro. Obviously, Taruchi was still number one on the ranks, but S and NEO were always at his heels. He’d collaborated with the two of them before, causing some players to call them the great god trio, even though the rumors about their relationship with S began to spark.

Itaru was surprised at first when he saw Citron, because he had been  _ absolutely  _ certain that S was a girl, and S hadn’t helped by being a female priest. He didn’t judge, though -- playing with Citron was extremely fun, if not a little stressful at times.

“Sure sure,” Itaru replies. “You want to swap games and help carry me through that dungeon?”  
“I’ll listen to you ~ “ Citron pipes up. “Let’s grow grow.”  
“Isn’t it go?” 

He can’t stop the smile that spreads over his cheeks, though, leaning over to change their game. He can feel Citron's eyes on him, as he clicks in a multiplayer game. It's some new game he'd been meaning to play anyway, but having Citron here, playing with him...it's a little different than just playing it by himself. Itaru watches their characters stride through the hallways of the dungeon, and glances over, briefly, at Citron. He seems completely relaxed in the moment, thumbs flying across the buttons as he begins his combos. Itaru isn’t far behind, but he spends a moment watching the way his hair falls over his shoulder, and the way he smiles at every good combo, and how he sticks his tongue out when he focuses…

If Itaru were to describe the saving graces in his life, it would be firstly, when he got his best girl’s SSR in Granblue Fantasy, secondly, meeting Chikage (as much as he and senpai ‘got along’, especially now that Chikage seemed to know that Itaru had been jerking it to him), and this moment, right here.

Itaru’s heart felt completely at peace. No inner darkness, no muffled yelling in his ears… just him and Citron, killing monsters in a dungeon.

“Itaru, cheer up,” Citron says. “You can bake it through this.”  
“I’ve become a bakery worker,” Itaru replies. “Thanks, Citron.”  
“No protein!”

* * *

“Hyodo.”

Juza looks up from his locker, his shirt in his hand. Standing beside him is Tasuku, still grimy from their last practice, and he raises his shirt at him, in acknowledgement. Tasuku rubs the back of his neck, and stretches out.

“Good job today,” Tasuku says. “You’re getting better day by day.”   
“Thanks,” Juza replies, feeling a little shy. “Appreciate it.”  
“There’s still a lot to learn, so be careful out there.”  
“Mm.”

To say Juza is distracted is a little bit of an understatement. His mind is still on what Tenma had said to him, just before he had to leave for his shift -- when he’d get back, he and Tenma would…

He swallows, pulling his shirt on properly. He doesn’t even know if he can make it back home in one piece, as flustered as he feels. Sure, he’d definitely thought about those kinds of things before, but to do these kinds of things with Tenma is a whole new experience in itself.

After he’d walked in on Tenma accidentally confessing, Juza’s whole mind was in a mess. He still didn’t really understand it now, despite them starting to date (?) due to it. He’d kissed Tenma several times, at this point, but the first time he’d kissed Tenma still lingers in his memory.

( _ “Are you sure this is okay?” Juza whispers. “Tenma.”  
_ _ “A-Ah,” Tenma mumbles. He’s inches away from him. “Mmhm. Go ahead…”  
_ _ “Then…” _ )

He was sweet. It was a sweet taste Juza didn’t mind tasting for the rest of his life. 

“Hyodo,” Tasuku says, and Juza turns up to him again. “Are you dating anyone?”  
“Huh?” Juza replies, blinking at him. “Yes. Why?”  
“Ah, don’t worry.” Tasuku leans against the locker. “It’s nothing.”

Juza half wants to ask, but Tasuku has a contemplative look on his face, as if he needed time to think. Juza decides that it’s a good idea to start packing his things up, slowly, so Tasuku can still speak to him if he wanted to.

“What’s it like?” As expected, Tasuku does follow up with his questions. “Dating someone.”  
“Um…”

Juza honestly isn’t sure how to answer this question. He’s only been dating Tenma for a little while, and it’s hard to describe his feelings for him, or how his heart does a weird little  _ thumpthumpthump  _ whenever he’s around. There’s something comforting in the way he smiles, too, like sunshine and strawberries and everything in between.

“It’s good,” Juza decides. “Nice.”  
“Very specific,” Tasuku chuckles. “You seem happy, though, Hyodo.”  
“I am.”

And he is. Juza is very happy. His heart squeezes in his chest, in a comforting way, and he realises how badly he wants to see Tenma, right now. How badly he wants to hold his hand, watch him smile at something Juza would have previously thought of as trivial.

It surprises him, somewhat, that these feelings are not new to him. Before he and Tenma had begun dating, these feelings were commonplace. Juza had felt them long before, in varying degrees, ever since they met all those years ago. He wanted to be by Tenma’s side, in a way that he thought he’d accomplish by becoming his best friend, but when he did become his best friend, those feelings never left. They just became stronger, swallowing him up like a pit he was happy to fall through. Like fire that tingles on his skin, but never hurt.

“I have to go,” Juza mumbles. “Takato-san, if you want to date someone, you should do it.”

He lifts his bag over his shoulder, adjusting the straps, and bows to him, before heading off, pulling his phone to call Tenma, only to see the shock of orange hair in the distance. Before he knows it, his feet are pattering fast over the pavement, and his arms reach out, pulling Tenma into his arms, pressing his lips gently against his. Tenma makes a strained noise into his mouth, but soon relaxes, holding onto him.

“I thought you said to call,” Juza says, once he finds it in himself to pull away. “I was going to.”  
“I just…” Tenma rubs the back of his neck, the flush that rises on his cheeks soft and sweet. “I wanted to see you right away.”

Juza can’t describe the feeling that’s in the bottom of his heart, but he can definitely put a name to it -- it’s love, nothing else. He is  _ absolutely  _ smitten with him.

He leans forward and kisses him again, and takes his hand in his, and all is right with the world.

And back in the locker room, Tasuku lifts his phone to his ear. 

“Hello...Azuma-san…? Can we have a chat?”

* * *

“Hyodoooooooo, we’re here.”

Banri kicks at the door of his friend’s house, Tenma standing behind him. They are thirteen, and in the prime of their life, joy in their bones as they wait for Juza to open up and let them in. They’d promised their parents that they’d go over and ‘be good’, but Banri didn’t know the definition of ‘good’. People had said that enough about him for him to know.

“Oooooi, Hyodo!”

The door opens, and Banri looks up, and a person he was pretty sure was an angel fixes his eyes down at him, eyes soft and gentle. He has gentle blue eyes, and dark blue hair, and a smile that made Banri’s heart tumble around in his chest. (He wouldn’t know what that meant until much, much later, though.)

“Um,” Banri says, feeling Tenma peer at the man from behind him. “Is...um...Hy -- that is, Juza..”  
“Settsu,” Juza says, coming out from behind the handsome man. “Come in. Tsukioka-sensei is teaching Kumon right now.”  
“Ah, are these your friends, Juza?” Tsukioka-sensei says. “Hi. I’m Tsumugi Tsukioka. Who are you?”  
“Banri...Settsu,” Banri mumbles. His tongue feels like lead, unable to control his words around this perfect seeming being. “Nice to meet you…”  
“I’m Tenma Sumeragi!” Tenma chirps. “You’re teaching Kumon?”  
“Yes!” Banri doesn’t miss the way Tsukioka-sensei’s eyes light up at it. “I am. He’s a very good student.”

Banri gently moves past Tsukioka-sensei, careful not to budge him too much, and slides into the chair next to Kumon, peeking at his books. Tenma soon follows, happily talking to Tsukioka-sensei about something Banri couldn’t hear over the weird pounding of his heart. He shuffles on the seat, pressing one hand against his heart. Weird, it felt weird…

“Hyo -- “ Banri begins, and then his eyes flicker over to Tsukioka-sensei, who’s walking back to the table. “Um...Kumon...what are you doing?”  
“Kumon…” Kumon turns to him, surprised. “Nii-chan, one-length actually called me Kumon!”  
“Does he normally not?” Tsukioka-sensei asks, amusement clear in his voice. “What do you call him normally, Banri-kun?”  
“Um.” Banri feels mortified, suddenly.  
“Hyodo 2!” Kumon parrots, cheery.   
“Kumon,” Banri says, strained.

Tsukioka-sensei laughs, and the sound is awfully sweet. Banri feels that weird feeling in his chest again, and he presses his fingers together, huffing a little. It sounds nice, really gentle, and Banri wonders about different ways he can make him laugh more. As long as he’s happy, Banri thinks, he’d be happy, too.

It’s really strange. He feels warm and strange, and even as Tsukioka-sensei starts teaching Kumon again, Banri can’t keep his eyes off of him, watching as he gracefully leads Kumon towards the right answers. He’s an excellent teacher, so much so that Banri almost wishes he’d brought books to learn with him. And that in and of itself is not like him at all.

“Banri-kun,” Tsukioka-sensei says, “would you like to try, too? You too, Tenma-kun. I have extra worksheets for the two of you, too.”  
“Really?” Banri asks, taking one of the said worksheets. “It’s okay?”   
“Tsukioka-sensei is training to become a teacher!” Kumon says proudly. “So he wants to teach as many people as possible!”  
“Then, sure…!” Tenma says, taking a worksheet. “I’ll learn, too!”  
“Me too,” Banri says, surprised at the words coming out of his mouth. If only nee-chan could see him now.

He sits in his chair, and for once, listens, and Tsukioka-sensei teaches them Maths, and English, and Science, and he barely feels time pass. He doesn’t know if it’s because of the way Tsukioka-sensei speaks, or the lesson plan he has, but learning doesn’t seem  _ terrible _ for once. 

Here, in this moment, Banri decides that if he’s going to become someone as wonderful as Tsukioka-sensei -- someone so dazzling you could never look away from. Just like him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI sorry for the late post!! its just a filler chapter so im sorry to make u wait for it ;; but we can have a little a citoita + juten + past bntm as a treat ;;


	19. chapter seventeen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the penultimate chapter.

“Tsumugi-san…”  
“Banri-kun…”

Banri wraps his arms around Tsumugi on instinct, tight around his waist as Tsumugi presses his face into his neck, tears still sliding down his cheeks. He cries, silent but shaking sobs that wrack through his body periodically. Banri holds onto him, pressing soft kisses to the shoulder he can reach, pulling him further against his chest. 

“It’s okay,” Banri murmurs. “It’s okay. I’m here.”  
“Banri-k-kun,” Tsumugi says, in response, voice wet with tears. “Banri…”  
“I’m here.”

It takes Tsumugi a while to calm down, going from earth-shattering cries to shaky sobs, to quiet weeping, and Banri holds him throughout, rubbing his back softly, forgetting his entire purpose of being here. He was supposed to tell Tsumugi that he was sorry, that he didn’t believe the rumors going around, but anything involving Tsumugi came first, even if that meant setting aside what he really wanted to say to him for now.

“Tsumugi-san,” Banri says.

When he receives no response, he tries pulling away to see if Tsumugi’s alright, only for Tsumugi to hold tighter onto his shirt, preventing him from moving any further. Banri isn’t sure what Tsumugi is feeling, but he presses a soft kiss to the top of his head, settling his hands on the small of his back, where his back dips slightly. Tsumugi doesn’t let go, fingers digging into the fabric of his shirt, holding on for dear life. 

“Tsumugi-san,” Banri tries.  
“Let’s go home,” Tsumugi mumbles.   
“Which one,” Banri replies, pleased at having an answer.   
“Doesn’t matter. Hurry, Banri-kun…”  
“Okay. Let’s go to my place, then.”

He picks up Ayame’s dropped leash, and she barks at the sight of him. Tsumugi lets go enough for them to be able to walk, holding onto Banri’s free arm as they walk back to Banri’s place. It’s the first time Tsumugi’s been here, and even through his tumultuous feelings, Tsumugi finds himself curious as to what kind of house Banri has, and what kind of furniture he has. He lets go for Banri to open the door, and Violet comes running out to greet Ayame. Banri undoes her leash and the two puppies run into the house.

The atmosphere in Banri’s house is completely different. The moment Tsumugi steps in, he can feel the difference -- it’s lighter. There’s no weight on him, and it looks like the entire house is filled with light, even though the evening sun is filtering through the windows. Banri flicks a light on, and the house is filled with even more light -- warm yellows flickering on throughout the house. 

He’s not sure how long he stands in the genkan, shoes still on, until Tsumugi feels a warmth in his hand. He looks to see that Banri has taken his hand in his, giving him a look that almost makes Tsumugi want to cry again, with how gentle it is. It’s surprising -- Tsumugi didn’t expect Banri to be so lenient with him. After all he’d done -- after the rumors he’d heard.

“Want to come to bed with me?” Banri says. “We can lie there and talk.”

Tsumugi kicks his shoes off, swallows, and then nods, not trusting his voice to say anything. He pads along the house in panda slippers Banri had taken out for him, listening to Ayame bark at something she and Violet were chasing, and to the low beat of his heart, thumping quietly in his chest. Banri stays quiet during their trek, and when he leads Tsumugi to bed as well, pulling him under the covers.

They’re silent, for a good long while. Tsumugi’s foot brushes against Banri’s leg, and he feels that he has to speak -- he refuses to let them wallow in silence any longer. 

“Banri-kun,” Tsumugi says, and Banri glances over at him. “...The flowers…”  
“You got them?” Banri says, and Tsumugi feels a weight settle in his heart. “...I hope you like them.”  
“You know what they mean, right…?” Tsumugi says. “You...learned flower language?”  
“I did.” Banri replies. “It paid off, right?”  
“It did, but...for me?”

Banri’s quiet for a bit, before he shuffles a little closer, taking Tsumugi’s hands in his own.

“For you,” he says, and the weight only gets heavier. “What do you think?”  
“I don’t know what you’re apologising for.” Tsumugi mumbles, holding onto his hands. “You’ve been nothing but wonderful to me, Banri-kun…”  
“There are times where I haven’t, too.” Banri says, in return. “Tsumugi, about the -- “   
“No, don’t.” Tsumugi presses a hand against Banri’s lips. “Don’t say anything more...for a little, please.”

As promised, Banri stays quiet, and Tsumugi presses his fingers together.

“...Tasuku...probably told you what happened.” he says softly. “...I want to tell you...about what he didn’t tell you. If that’s alright with you.”

Banri nods, still remaining quiet as per his instructions.

“Okay.” Tsumugi whispers. “Get ready.”

“ _ I assume you know that...after this student confessed to me, I was sent to the principal’s office to have a chat?  _

_ In that office, the principal, and the woman sitting there -- this child’s mother, perhaps -- accused me of having inappropriate conduct with a minor. I don’t know...where she got that from, but I’ve never touched her child inappropriately, nor did I ever harbor any thoughts about him. We...that student and I, we would do extra classes together after school let out as further practice...could it be because of that? _

_ I tried to explain, but the principal didn’t listen to me, and in the end, I was fired from my job, and put on a blacklist. The blacklist meant that...I couldn’t teach in any of the other schools around the neighborhood, and it would be difficult for me to get a job anywhere else, so...I stayed around the area.  _

_ Zabi and I, we bought an empty shop lot, and started working on the garden in the back, and I grew flowers, and we started a florist. It went well. People acted sympathetic, at the time...they figured I was wrongly blamed because I had taught their children before, but in their eyes, I was blacklisted in their hearts, too. They still bought from me...still gave me business, but...that was it. And things...were fine like this. I had Zabi, and Zabi was always by my side. _

_ Then, one day, Zabi died. Of old age -- he was my grandparents’ dog, and we basically grew up together, so I knew it was coming, but… _

_ Something...happened. Without Zabi, I was...alone. I didn’t have anybody to turn to -- and no one was by my side, anymore. You might think that I could have called Tasuku, or talked to Kazunari, but I couldn’t further bog Tasuku down with my troubles, and Kazunari was still learning...I couldn’t do that to them. _

_ Lost...and alone, I… _

_ I did some things. I… _ ”

Tsumugi falls quiet. Banri watches him for a few moments, eyes carefully tracing the slight shake in his shoulders, in the tremors of his hands in his. He squeezes, and Tsumugi looks up at him, before looking away.

“ _ I sold...myself. For a little bit. Um...did some other jobs of that nature...I started small, and then things just got worse and worse, and by the time I’d realised it, I was working in one of those backstreet houses. Pay was decent, and I was having...some kind of fun. It was a release, almost. _

_ Kazunari found me. In an alleyway. Doing...my job. He basically beat the guy off of me, and dragged me home with him, and called Tasuku, and the people I worked for somehow never thought to come look for me after that. Likely...due to Tasuku, but nonetheless… _

_ Um...after that, I stayed around the florist...did more work...more rumors began to spread after that night...people started to see the old rumors as more truthful, because of the line of work I went into...and then...I started to do camboy work. _ ”

“And then,” Tsumugi says, quietly, “and then, I met you.”

His eyes flicker up to Banri, who’s staring at him like he’s just saw a ghost. It’s a look that Tsumugi isn’t exactly expecting, but it isn’t as bad as he had expected. He squeezes his hand softly, before letting go, moving to sit up. He rests his back against the headboard, watching as Banri processes what he’d told him.

“I met you, and then…” Tsumugi touches the area where his heart is, beating against his ribcage. “I felt love. You showed me what love was like, and you didn’t ask about my past, or ask any other questions, even though I know you saw the pictures in the living room.”

He swallows, pulling his knees up to his chest. The sheets shuffle beside him, and Tsumugi knows Banri has sat up as well, tilting his head at him. Tsumugi’s not sure whether he wants to look at him or not.

“When you found out, I thought my world was going to fall into pieces. I thought...you were never going to talk to me again, that you were going to look at me the same way that the others looked at me. So, scared, I broke off our relationship. Even though...even though your kind of love...is the kind of love I had been craving the most…”

At this point, Tsumugi does turn to face him, feeling his heart continue to beat out of time. He doesn’t know whether he’s crying or not, but the stricken look on Banri’s face tells Tsumugi that even if he isn’t cry, he’s certainly showing some type of face.

“It’s selfish,” Tsumugi mumbles, “but...would it be okay, if I...again…”  
“Tsumugi-san,” Banri whispers.

Gently, Tsumugi feels warmth on his cheeks. Banri’s holding him softly, he can tell. 

“Tsumugi-san, look at me,” Banri murmurs. Tsumugi complies, meeting Banri’s eyes properly. “I...you have to know, Tsumugi-san, but I love you.”  
“Banri-kun,” Tsumugi says, touching his hand gently. “...I love you, too.”

Gently, Banri leans in, and presses their lips together, still holding his cheek softly, thumb rubbing over his skin. Tsumugi holds onto his wrist, not wanting to let go of this warmth again. If it’s selfish, and it is, it doesn’t matter...Tsumugi needs this.

“Banri-kun,” he says. “Banri-kun…”   
“Mm.” Banri’s reply is more of a hum against his skin.   
“Will you take care of me, tonight…?”

Banri kisses his jaw, and then his ear.

“I’ll take care of you for as long as you need me.”

Tsumugi smiles, wrapping his arms around Banri’s neck, and lets Banri kiss him again, moving to press him into the pillows. His hands slide up underneath Tsumugi’s t-shirt, and trace over his cold skin, slowly warming with his touches. Tsumugi lets out a small noise, cheeks colouring red, and Banri kisses the apple of each cheek, and his nose, gently.

“You’re beautiful,” Banri says.   
“Even like this?” Tsumugi asks, and Banri kisses him, pushing his shirt up slightly.  
“However you look.”

The words fill Tsumugi with a certain type of joy, running through his veins and settling comfortably in his heart. He raises his hands so Banri can remove his shirt, tossing it aimlessly to the side. Banri’s still fully clothed, but it doesn’t bother Tsumugi in the slightest, pulling him down against him to kiss, as if it were like breathing. He can’t go any longer without him -- being away for only a week had made Tsumugi feel alone, and cold.

Of course, Tsumugi thinks, as Banri starts to pull his sweatpants down, he’s worried that Banri doesn’t really love him. 

“Tsumugi-san,” Banri says, and Tsumugi glances up at him. “...What are you thinking about?”  
“You,” Tsumugi replies, honestly. “Kiss me again, please…”  
“Tsumugi-san…”

Banri’s always one to comply with him, leaning forward to kiss him as Tsumugi kicks off the rest of his trousers, pushing them off to the side. He’s almost completely bare under him, both physically and mentally, having laid bare his soul for Banri to see. Tsumugi had held his heart out to him, and wasn’t worried about what he’d do with it. He trusted him.

“Banri-kun, you’re staring,” Tsumugi says, resisting the urge to hide his face. “Do you really like looking at me that much…”  
“I said this earlier, Tsumugi-san, but you’re beautiful,” Banri replies. “I just want to look at you forever.”  
“Stop, that’s embarrassing…”

Tsumugi can’t help but smile, though, moving to sit up, pulling at Banri’s own clothes. He’s wearing something surprisingly fancy -- he probably wanted to make a good impression. His blue button up and slacks combination is very cute. Banri lets Tsumugi undo three buttons before taking over, fingers flying over the buttons. He lets it hang open as he works on the clasp of his belt, and the button on his slacks, and Tsumugi allows himself to sit back, for once, and watch Banri undress himself.

“Banri-kun,” Tsumugi says. “Can you get the lube?”  
“Mm,” Banri exhales. “Tsumugi-san, you just sit and relax.”  
“But…”  
“It’s about you tonight.” Banri kisses Tsumugi’s temple. “Okay?”

Tsumugi’s heart tingles in his chest.

“If you say so...”

Banri’s smile is almost blinding, like the Sun had somehow materialized in the room, providing the warmth that Tsumugi so desperately clung to. He holds onto Banri’s shoulders as he leans down to kiss him, pressing their lips together softly. The kiss doesn’t last long, Banri preferring to grace Tsumugi with several gentle kisses over his lips and face, kissing his eyelids and his cheeks. It’s the most tender sex Tsumugi has  _ ever  _ had — so careful, and gentle. 

He wants to tell Banri to be harder with him, that he wouldn’t break, but there’s something just as wonderful as this soft feeling, this feeling of being so treasured and taken care of. It’s almost maddening, pulling Tsumugi deeper into his love for Banri -- as if he couldn’t be enough in love already.

Banri reaches into the side drawer and pulls out a small bottle, and a line of condoms. Tsumugi blinks at Banri, and then takes his hand.

“Banri-kun, the condoms,” Tsumugi mumbles. “...Is it alright if we do them without…?”  
“Tsumugi-san…” Banri says, giving him a look that Tsumugi doesn’t quite understand. “Is it...okay?”  
“I want to…” Tsumugi flushes a bit. “I want to feel all of you...tonight. If that’s okay.”  
“Yes,” Banri replies, instantly. “Whatever you like, Tsumugi-san.”   
“And,” Tsumugi interrupts, before Banri can look away. “...just saying...Tsumugi...is okay.”  
“Tsumugi…”

Banri’s eyes sparkle with joy that he can barely keep down.

“You can just say Banri, too,” Banri says, and Tsumugi smiles. “Tsumugi.”  
“Banri,” Tsumugi replies, and wraps his arms around his neck, pulling him down into another kiss.

Tsumugi’s lips move carefully against Banri’s, feeling his hands running up and down his sides, careful and warm. Banri kisses the side of his mouth, and then his jaw, and down to his chest, his thumbs flicking gently over his nipples. His kisses continue down, gently licking over his stomach, and moving further down to his hips, reaching the edge of his underwear.

Tsumugi is wearing boxers -- white, originally, but they’re slightly grey from overwashing, and mixing with darker colors. There’s a hole in it, too -- a small one, easily fixed with a needle and thread. Banri looks up at him, and Tsumugi flushes, covering his face.

“Don’t look, it’s not cute,” Tsumugi mumbles. “I’m not wearing any panties or anything.”  
“Tsumugi,” Banri replies, kissing his stomach gently. “Don’t say that. You’re beautiful.”

Somehow, it’s even more gorgeous than Tsumugi wearing cute panties. There’s something inherently beautiful about Tsumugi in his natural state, no acts, or anything like that. He’s adorable, and Banri doesn’t know how on earth he managed to attract the attention of such an ethereal angel as Tsumugi, beautiful in every form.

“I’ll take them off now,” Banri says.

Tsumugi nods, biting gently on his fingertips. Banri leans over, taking his hand from his lips and kissing his fingers, fond and sweet.

“Alright.”

He begins to pull his underwear off, tugging them off of his hips and tossing them to the side. He kisses his hip carefully, and then sits up, looking down at Tsumugi, now completely are under him. Gorgeous, in every shape and form. 

Banri clicks the lube open, and Tsumugi accommodates without another word, pulling his knees up to his chest. He looks up at Banri, and smiles, and Banri’s heart stops in his chest, leaning down to kiss the back of his calves, down to the back of his thighs. Tsumugi swallows -- and Banri can feel the gentle tremor over his skin.

“Tsumugi, it’s okay. I’ll be gentle.” Banri whispers.  
“I’m not worried about that,” Tsumugi replies, his voice a little quiet. “Banri always takes good care of me.”  
“It’s because I love you,” Banri says.  
“Say it again.”  
“Huh?” Banri glances up at him. “...I love you, Tsumugi.”

Tsumugi bristles, and Banri chuckles, kissing his inner thigh, before moving to his entrance, blowing gently to make him shiver. It’s too cute, the way he shuffles around in the sheets. Banri wants to look at Tsumugi’s face, wants to see what kind of expression he has on, but he has other things to focus on. 

He leans forward, kissing at his entrance, careful not to shock him too much -- though Tsumugi jumps at the feeling anyway. The smile only widens on Banri’s face, though, continuing to lick at him. His mind tells him it’s to help Tsumugi relax and loosen up, but intrinsically, he feels as if it’s more just to take care of him. Help him feel good.

“You don’t have to do so much of that,” Tsumugi says, as Banri expected. “I’m easy to please.”  
“I know,” Banri says, flicking his tongue against him. “I want to please you.”

Tsumugi wriggles. Banri pours some lube on his free hand, and holds his hips down, tracing his lube-slick fingers around his entrance, and then slowly sliding one in. Tsumugi’s soft on the inside, probably from all the practice, but Banri moves his finger inside him slow enough to make Tsumugi shiver.

“More,” Tsumugi mumbles. “I can take more.”

Banri’s ever-ready to please, slowly sliding a second finger inside of Tsumugi. It’s a little bit tight, but Tsumugi doesn’t seem to mind, moaning out Banri’s name as he curls his fingers inside of him. Banri moves up, and Tsumugi bends to meet him, their lips pressing together just as Banri hits that spot inside of him. He moans, holding onto Banri’s face to keep kissing him, so he doesn’t let go.

Soon, Tsumugi’s begging for more, moaning his want into Banri’s mouth, and Banri complies, he always does, pressing in a third finger. He falls back, then, onto the comfortable sheets, and arches into the touch, eyes hazy, but focused enough for Banri to find them piercing. He’s careful with his fingers inside him, though, pressing as deep in as possible, before pulling them out to the tips. It’s hard, but slow, and Tsumugi starts to whimper every time he pushes in that way.

Banri knows -- he probably wants it harder, wants more, so he works to push his fingers in faster, deeper, trying to please him.

“Hurry.” Tsumugi sounds wrecked. “Give me -- give me your cock, Banri, fill me up…”

It’s really, really hard to say no to him.

He pulls his fingers out, wiping them on the blanket -- it’s fine, because it’s Banri’s blanket and not Tsumugi’s -- and grabs the lube again, slicking up his cock. He doesn’t miss Tsumugi’s eyes on his hand, rubbing his length carefully.

“Are you sure,” Banri mumbles, positioning himself, “about the condom?”  
“Let me feel all of you,” Tsumugi replies. “I need -- I need it…”  
“Anything for you.”

Banri carefully positions himself, and then pushes in slowly, relishing at Tsumugi’s warmth around him. He moans, and Tsumugi trembles underneath him, gasps leaving his lips.

“Ah, hnnh — “ 

Tsumugi’s voice is like music to Banri’s ears. He closes his eyes, listening to him whimper. His hands settle on his hips, just holding him still. It doesn’t take that much time for Tsumugi to get used to it, though, still well practiced, and he soon begins to move his hips against him, moaning his name out. 

Well, Banri can’t have Tsumugi doing too much work, especially on a day where he’s supposed to take care of him. Holding his hips tighter, Banri begins to thrust into him, causing louder cries to leave Tsumugi’s lips. Banri gasps, bending over to get closer to Tsumugi, to kiss him — and then he notices it. 

“Tsumugi,” Banri says, stilling deep inside him. “You’re crying…”  
“Ah -- huh…?”

Tsumugi lifts a hand to his cheek, and feels the tears rolling down. He lifts his hand, wiping them from the corners of his eyes, and Banri holds his cheek, rubbing his thumb softly over them. He leans down, kissing his eyelids gently. 

“I’m sorry,” Banri murmurs, against his skin. “I shouldn’t have left you alone.”  
“Oh, Banri…”

Banri feels Tsumugi touch his hand, leaning his face into his touch. He turns his head, kissing his palm gently. His tears are still dripping from his eyes, but the soft smile on his face tells Banri the opposite.

“I’m not sad, my love,” Tsumugi says. “I’m so happy…”

Banri’s heart thumps harder in his chest, feeling Tsumugi nuzzle his cheek against his palm, and a smile crosses his face, turning Tsumugi’s face to kiss him softly. He’s adorable -- adorable, and sweet, and Banri adores him. Banri can’t believe he let Tsumugi go -- his heart feels so heavy, the guilt rising higher in his veins.

“I’m so sorry,” Banri whispers. “I’m sorry, Tsumugi. I’m sorry.”  
“Don’t apologise,” Tsumugi says. “Hold me...have me, Banri. It’s alright.”

Tsumugi leans back, lying back on the bed, his hands held out to Banri, who takes them, rubbing his thumbs gently over the skin of his hands. Carefully, he pulls back, and then pushes in again, a soft little cry of pleasure coming from Tsumugi. His movements are careful, whispering quiet apologies with every thrust in, punctuated with Tsumugi’s little moans.

It feels -- it feels different. Banri and Tsumugi haven’t had sex many times, but this time -- feels very different, pressed together in the bed like this. Tsumugi’s warm inside, slick from the precum, and he’s tight, too. Banri feels like he’s getting sucked in. The face Tsumugi makes looks ethereal, as if he isn’t even real, holding onto Banri as he fucks him, sacrificing speed for power, pushing deeply inside.

“Banri,” Tsumugi whispers. “Banri, Banri -- “  
“Tsumugi…”

Banri realises it, then. He’s known it from the beginning, but he realises it, then, deep inside him.

He is seriously, seriously, in love with him.

“I love you,” Banri moans, hips hitting harder against Tsumugi. “I love you, I love you.”  
“I love you too,” Tsumugi replies, arms wrapping around Banri’s torso. “I love you so much -- “

Each thrust melts into the next, Tsumugi crying out louder and louder, until white splatters against their stomachs, and deep inside of him, shaky and shivery. Banri breathes heavily, still holding onto Tsumugi, and he presses his face into his neck, holding tighter to him.

“I’m never going to leave you again,” Banri says.  
“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Tsumugi replies, and that unspoken promise is more than enough for the two of them.


	20. epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the final chapter

“Banri, you’re needed up at the counter!”  
“Got it!”

Banri wipes the sweat from his brow with his free hand, setting down the bag of coffee beans on the ground. He stretches, and makes his way out of the storage room, a smile on his face as the next customer comes up.

“Hey, what can I get for you?” he says, glancing up at the customer -- and a smile spreads across his face.  
“A kiss would be nice,” Tsumugi replies, his own smile almost sparkling. “Hello, my love. Hard at work as always?”

Banri taps in the order, one that he knows very well at this point, and leans over to kiss Tsumugi gently. His coworkers groan, and pretend to puke, but Banri can’t be bothered with it, glowing like he’d seen the sun. If this were an anime, there would definitely be little hearts revolving around Banri’s head, or the sound of little birds chirping.

Tenma pushes him away from the counter, where he’s just been staring dreamily into space, and pulls the apron from his waist.

“Okay, it’s my turn.” Tenma says, staring at him. “Go talk with your boyfriend.”  
“Thanks ~ “

Banri’s not one to pass up opportunities like this. He ducks under the counter, and takes Tsumugi’s hand, smiling as he laughs, leading him to a table. His hand is warm in his, and Tsumugi doesn’t let go, even as they sit down at the table, across from each other. Their joined hands are on the table, Banri rubbing his thumb gently over Tsumugi’s knuckles.

“How’s it been so far, Tsumugi?” Banri says. “The florist’s?”  
“Ah, about the florist thing,” Tsumugi says, his smile only increasing in size. “We got a new person come in to work with us!”  
“Oh?”

Ever since Tsumugi had stopped doing his camboy work as frequently has he used to, he’d been spending more time at the florist’s, getting money for his YouTube channel. Kazunari had began helping Tsumugi out, Tsuzuru occasionally popping in to see if they needed help with the budget, or providing a third opinion to their occasional disagreements.

“Tell me about him,” Banri says, and Tsumugi laughs a little.  
“He reminds me a little of you,” Tsumugi says, squeezing his hand. “His name is Azami, and, while he won’t say it outright, I think he’s working at the job to see someone.”  
“Hey, don’t replace me,” Banri jokes, and Tsumugi laughs again. It’s a wonderful sound -- Banri hopes to keep hearing it. “He sounds like a piece of work, though.”  
“You were a piece of work, too,” Tsumugi replies.   
“Was not.” Banri’s smile betrays his fake anger, though. “How about the YouTube channel?”  
“Oh, Banri, it’s gotten lots of followers today!”  
“Subscribers.”  
“Subscri -- ???”  
“Subscribers, Tsumugi-san…”

Tsumugi had started a YouTube channel as per the requests of all his fans. He’d joined his Discord server after Banri’s insisting, and had proceeded to shock everyone in the server when he did. Banri, however, got the biggest joy in seeing Tsumugi attempt to work with Discord -- he’d quickly learned that Tsumugi had  _ no  _ idea how to use it, and had accidentally joined calls every now and then. Banri was pretty sure that some of Tsumugi's biggest fans died when he joined, but he was sure they were as charmed by his sweet countenance as Banri was when he'd met him.

Banri often had to step in and teach him how to use the app, but whether his lessons were getting into Tsumugi’s head was a mystery to him, based on the way Tsumugi looked at him when he taught him things.

Adorable. Everything about Tsumugi was adorable.

“A lot of people have been asking for me to do more English lesson videos,” Tsumugi says, tilting his head. “You’ll help, right, Banri-kun?”  
“What kind of question is that?” Banri replies, eyes sparkling. “Of course I will!”

As Tsumugi opens his mouth to speak again, a sharp gasp is heard beside them. Tsumugi turns his head, and his expression changes, forming a mixed expression Banri has no idea how to describe. Banri glances over, and notices the boy standing there, takeaway cup of coffee in his hands. He can’t be much older than Banri is.

“...Tsukioka-sensei,” the other says, and Tsumugi’s expression changes even more. “...L-Long time no see…”  
“Ah, Ryo-kun…” Tsumugi says.

Tsumugi’s expression is unreadable. Banri makes to stand, but Tsumugi stops him with a single hand, blocking him from going any further.

“It’s been a long time.” Tsumugi’s got a smile on, now. “Pull up a chair, Ryo-kun. Let’s catch up.”

The takeaway cup in Ryo’s hand starts to shake.

“Tsukioka-sensei,” Ryo says, “you’re not...angry at me? After what I did to you…”

Banri watches Ryo from the corner of his eye, but his attention is torn when Tsumugi stands, giving Banri a reassuring smile. He touches Banri’s hand, and then moves to take Ryo’s shoulder gently in his hand.

“Let’s talk outside, okay?”

* * *

Tsumugi had mixed feelings about this situation. The student that Tsumugi had been suffering over for so long, who he subconsciously blamed for all the problems in his life, was currently standing in front of him, takeaway cup still shaking in his hands.

“Tsukioka-sensei -- “ Ryo begins, and Tsumugi shakes his head.  
“I’m just Tsumugi, now,” Tsumugi says, and it only serves to make Ryo shake more. “Don’t be scared. I’m not angry at you.”  
“B-But -- but why not?” Ryo looks up at him, surprise mixed with a little bit of anger clear in his eyes. “You should be angry at me! I -- I ruined everything for you! I made you lose your job, and we -- we all know you loved teaching us, so -- I ruined that -- “  
“Was it really you who did that, Ryo-kun?”

Tsumugi meets Ryo’s eyes, and he blinks at him, staring blankly back at him. 

“I know you’re not that type of person.” Tsumugi says. “I know...you must have been sad, when I said that I didn’t like you in that way...but I know you, and I know you didn’t do it. So I’m not angry at you.”  
“Tsukioka-sensei…” Ryo’s eyes have started to fill with tears.  
“I told you, I’m just Tsumugi, now,” Tsumugi replies, and suddenly, he’s got an armful of Ryo, wrapping his arms tightly around his waist.  
“You’re still my sensei,” Ryo mumbles into his coat. “No matter what they call you now -- you’re still Tsukioka-sensei to me, and to the rest of us, too.”

Tsumugi’s heart warms. He wraps his arms around Ryo, petting his hair gently, and feels the weights of the world slide off his shoulders. After all this time, after those years, his students still remembered and loved him. He doesn’t know why -- he doesn’t think he deserves it, but they do, and Tsumugi is so, so lucky to have them. Quietly, their conversation continues together, while Banri watches from the cafe window, a small smile on his face.

Tsumugi slides into his seat inside the cafe after Ryo has to leave, a glow on his face. Banri gives him a smug looking smile, and Tsumugi leans over to kiss it off his face.

“What are you looking at me like that for?” he asks, and Banri whistles innocently. “What is it?”  
“You look really happy, Tsumugi,” Banri says, nothing but fondness in his voice. “What gives?”  
“Ryo invited me to a meetup with my students,” Tsumugi responds, pressing his fingers together. “I’m really excited. I haven’t seen them in so long.”  
“Eh, sounds fun.” Banri leans against his palm, taking in this type of Tsumugi. Glowing and bright, and happy. “I’ll have to make myself dinner that day, then.”  
“What are you talking about.” Tsumugi gently pushes his arm. “You’re my student too, aren’t you?”

Banri blinks at him, and it’s Tsumugi’s turn to wear the smug little smile. Banri’s memories turn back to years ago -- and then he starts laughing.

“You remembered that?” Banri asks, between fits of laughter.   
“Of course I remember it,” Tsumugi replies, the laughing starting to get to him as well. “I remember how you nearly fell over yourself at the sight of me.”  
“Oh, I remember that!” Tenma yells from the counter, and Banri makes a  _ noise _ , embarrassment rising on his cheeks. “You couldn’t move for forever, Banri!”  
“Aaaaah, yeah yeah yeah,” Banri groans, face still bright red. “You were gorgeous back then, too. I looked up to you.”  
“And what about now?” Tsumugi questions, and Banri snorts, taking his hands in his.  
“I’ll look up at you any time you like.”

Tsumugi kicks Banri’s shin, but he laughs, the smile blinding on his face. 

“I joke, but…” Banri’s voice grows slightly quieter, and gains a certain feeling to it. “I’m proud of you, Tsumugi.”

Tsumugi squeezes Banri’s hands, heart thumping harder in his chest, and gives him a bright smile. 

“I’m proud of me, too.”

Tsumugi’s words carry from the cafe’s windows, into the open sky, and into the open window of a shared apartment. 

Two dogs run around the house, barking both at each other and at nothing at all, the sun shining through the gauze curtains. The unmade bed tells the tales of many nights spent together, and the two toothbrushes clink together in the slow wind. 

In the living room, between one carefully and neatly hung picture of a man and the students who love him, and another of another man holding a certificate of excellence in his hands, hangs a charcoal canvas of a figure, staring into the distance, two daffodils carried neatly between his finger tips.

**end.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dear daffodil is over !! isn't that hella weird!!!
> 
> thank you everyone for reading it until now <3 if you ever wanna talk about it i'm at @madokaikaruga on twitter now!! rhank you so much...

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me @scarletmirror_ if u like !!!


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